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This explains everything! Your boyfriend sided with his father in the divorce and believed that his mother is evil for getting what the courts believed was fair and just. Guess what? She probably was entitled to what she got. The courts would not have given it if she wasn't. Guess what else? She knows her son took his father's side and resents her. Why should she be all warm and fuzzy when he chose to fall for all of his father's baised woman hating? Think about it.
That does explain a lot. I think I'd hesitate to get too close to a grandchild when the relationship could end up held over my head.
I agree. Courts don't give you anything if you're not entitled to it. If he's mad at anyone, it should be the courts. That he's mad at his mom explains a lot. I'd be keeping my distance too. She may want to be part of her grandchild's life but she knows this can blow up in her face because her son sided with his father.
Armychick, You cannot change this woman. None of us have the power to change anyone else. None.of.us. What you can change is the bitterness you have inside of you. Which your child is going to feel. She's going to grow up knowing hate and bitterness early.
Is that what you want?
Or do you want to give your daughter the gift of having a mother who doesn't hold grudges. Who moves past hurts and slights. Real and imagined.
Your daughter is going to watch every single thing you do. She's going to soak it all up like a sponge.
Think about what kind of a person you want to raise. It's all up to you.
Armychick, You cannot change this woman. None of us have the power to change anyone else. None.of.us. What you can change is the bitterness you have inside of you. Which your child is going to feel. She's going to grow up knowing hate and bitterness early.
Is that what you want?
Or do you want to give your daughter the gift of having a mother who doesn't hold grudges. Who moves past hurts and slights. Real and imagined.
Your daughter is going to watch every single thing you do. She's going to soak it all up like a sponge.
Think about what kind of a person you want to raise. It's all up to you.
Perhaps your bf has a history of losing jobs and showing up with pregnant girlfriends who rant online about how their bf's mother lives off disability and alimony but hasn't bought them anything. Perhaps she's preparing for the next needy phase of your lives. Perhaps because she wasn't married to bf's father when he was born, and she's known your bf since before he was born, she knows better than the two of you what's around the corner.
Not really. He was pretty stable until he lost his job actually. He was in the Army for 10 years and got out a little over a year ago.
I am not ranting about her disability and alimony. I just pointed out that she lives off those 2 things and seems to be doing pretty darn well.
Why is the OP even having a baby? She stated they were almost homeless and the boyfriend lost his job.
I would be more concerned about how they're going to provide for this child then who is or isn't throwing them a baby shower.
Maybe his mother isn't thrilled that her 29yr old unemployed, unmarried son is going to be a father.
I wouldn't be.
I wouldn't be either. I'd do what I had to to make sure the baby was fed but I wouldn't be going out and buying gifts for a shower. I'd save my money for when they need diapers later. I'd be PO'd if it was formula they needed. If you're this poor, you'd better take the formula mother nature provides almost free.
Hm, he lost his job when I was 8 months pregnant. We never saw it coming. Do you realize how bad the economy is in this country now?
I don't know why some of you like to throw in my face that we aren't married.
Does being married give you great parenting skills or something?
It certainly didn't give my parents any, as well as a lot of people I know.
Because the odds are against you. Even moreso than if you were married for, at least, a year before having a baby. Just how long have you and her son been living together? Was this baby planned or an accident?
Well, that's awful. - if that is the case....but the only things his father has ever said to me about his ex-wife were her narcissistic personality and that she always expected to be catered to when they were married. Her sister said the same thing to us so I am more inclined to believe it is true. Or maybe not. But her "me, me, me" attitude makes me believe they could be right.
There is more to the divorce situation and the reason why my boyfriend resents her.... She didn't want to work when the kids were teenagers and already in school, she would call his dad out for working 2 jobs to support her and the fact that he was never home. He had to work 2 jobs to maintain their lifestyle. She never worked. Period. And they got divorced and she got the house, all of her debt paid off, alimony til the father passes away (Massachusetts law) and half of his retirement.
The whole situation is a bit complicated and I obviously only know what I have been told from both sides.
Well, what you've shared here indicates that she was entitled to what she got. There is NOTHING wrong with a mother staying home to raise her children.
You said she's receiving disability too. That might have something to do with why she didn't return to work when the kids were older. But that doesn't have to be the reason for her to stay home once the children were older. Let me also tell you, kids need a mother home MORE once they are in high school. THAT'S when kids need supervision THE MOST.
The father is equally responsible for their lifestyle being above his means. I think it's a damn shame this women is getting racked over the coals by the entire family. That alone is an excellent reason for her to be holding back.
I also think it's a shame that you are quickly embracing all of the nasty gossip that is being spread around about her. You're a women. You shouldn't be thinking that his mother didn't deserve to be provided for after she gave her life staying home with her children.
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- if that is the case....but the only things his father has ever said to me about his ex-wife were her narcissistic personality and that she always expected to be catered to when they were married. Her sister said the same thing to us so I am more inclined to believe it is true. Or maybe not. But her "me, me, me" attitude makes me believe they could be right.
