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With that being said....If you knew your son lost his job, his girlfriend was about to give birth and they were struggling financially, would you invite them over to your house to talk about the brand new truck you want to buy, the mink coat you bought for almost 2 thousand dollars, the trip you just took to Florida, the new bedroom set you just got and the new house you closed on?
Only if that were my normal habit. If that were something out of the ordinary for her then I'd wonder. If this is how she normally is, I woudln't think twice about it.
My step mother was this way. To her, life was about the things she had. They were important to her and we all expected her to talk about them when we were around and, yes, she did so even when my husband was unemployed and we were in foreclosure. She is who she is.
The fact of the matter is, her mink coat, new truck and vacation mean nothing to you. They took no food out of your mouth. If this is the way she is than accept that. Or don't, the choice is yours. You're free to up and move halfway across the country if you wish so you never have to see her again.
let's don't overlook one thing. There are a lot of women who simply are not interested in babies. Even their own. They don't understand how other women feel, therefore they can't react as you think they should. They don't know how, or it never occured to them that they could or should.
That makes some sense since that she was married before she married my boyfriend's dad and had a son whom she hasn't seen since he was 1 and she wants nothing do to with him.
I don't know. You tell me. Is she normally like that? Or do you even know her well enough to know?
And it may not be bragging. My step mother talked about her purchases and vacations not because she was bragging but because they were important to her. Being able to do those things made her feel secure. She had a need to feel taken care of. I've never taken her talk of her latest purchase or even her requests to help her sort her rediculous number of closets (the woman had a boutique in her basement, I kid you not) as bragging. Her things were important to her. She was who she was. It means nothing to me.
It may seem like bragging to you but it may be normal conversation for her. Are you sure you're not jealous over her ability to buy a truck, a mink coat and go on vacation? She has the right to buy those things even if her son is out of work. I don't know what she's normally like so I can't tell you what to make about her wanting to talk about her purchases means.
How long were you and her son together before you got pregnant? Was she part of your life before that? Or are you expecting everything to change now that you're pregnant?
I don't know. You tell me. Is she normally like that? Or do you even know her well enough to know?
How long were you and her son together before you got pregnant? Was she part of your life before that? Or are you expecting everything to change now that you're pregnant?
Less than a year. We've known each other for 5...almost dated back in the day but it didn't work out because of the distance. He was stationed in Korea and I was stationed somewhere else.
I met her a year ago and she wasn't like that around me. The bragging started around the Holidays and it has gotten worse ever since.
No, I am not jealous of her. She has no friends, is always at the bar with her man. I go to school and work and I am not an unhappy person. She can have all the mink coats in the world, the latest truck that comes out. She doesn't seem happy.
In this case, that doesn't matter. What matters is whether the paternal grandmother feels she'll have access to the grandchild. I see multiple strikes here. They're not married and we don't know how long they were together before deciding to have a child so we don't know how stable the relationship was before they decided (hopefully decided) to have a baby. Her relationship is strained with her son who sided with his father in the divorce. She may not feel warm and fuzzy about her prospects for being allowed to be a grandmother.
Nobody really knows how stable their relationships are going to be, and nobody can predict the outcome, no matter what the circumstances are preceding the OP getting pregnant. The grandmother is no better predictor of success or failure than anybody else. If she waits until things look like they're going to last before she makes an emotional commitment, the child might be 18 at that point.
ArmyChick, I'm sorry you're 3 weeks out and in such a stressful situation, regarding your boyfriend's employment situation. It must really be placing extra strain on you, things already suck at this point in pregnancy.
I'm also really sorry that your boyfriend served for 10 years and now can't find a job. I imagine that's really hard on him too, with a baby just about here.
So, you guys need to focus all your energy on getting things straight as you can before the baby comes, because when he or she does, it won't matter what grandma did or didn't do. Your life is about to make such things seem insignificant.
You are probably an emotional mess at this point (I was, so no offense intended) and the added stress with his mom won't help. Just focus on the 3 of you.
I wish you all the best.
ETA Unintentionally called boyfriend husband. It's not important to me, just wanted to change it so the particulars are correct.
While that is insensitive considering your situation if that is how she talks all the time then I would avoid her.
When I got laid off the first time several years ago I had a "friend" who would go and on about a trip they were taking, how lavish their company Christmas party was, etc.
Knowing I was out of work and worried about the future.
I decided this was not someone I needed to be around and ended the friendship.
It is a little more difficult because of your situation, but I would save myself some grief and not go see her.
You don't need the stress she is creating so eliminate as much contact as possible.
Less than a year. We've known each other for 5...almost dated back in the day but it didn't work out because of the distance. He was stationed in Korea and I was stationed somewhere else.
I met her a year ago and she wasn't like that around me. The bragging started around the Holidays and it has gotten worse ever since.
Since the "bragging" started before her son lost his job, I wouldn't think much of it. Either choose to not let it bother you or choose to not be around her. You can always have your boyfriend take the baby to see her if you can't handle that she likes to talk about her things.
I can't say for sure but she may be trying to fill a void in her life with things. That's what my step mother was doing. I hear her kids had one heck of a garage sale after she died.
I'm also going to guess she is not comfortable with the fact you and her son have been dating for less than a year and have a baby due in three weeks. I'm going to guess the baby was not planned. Your whole situation seems unstable to me. It's not like you were a long term couple who decided to have a baby. You'd been dating, maybe, three months when you got pregnant.
Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if your MIL is also my SIL. The SIS is one very ego-centric person. I am so tired of hearing about HER, HER things, HER wishes, wants and desires. I am ever tired of listening to how smart she was in high school.
We have just got to accept the fact that some people think that the world revolves around them. Therefore you understand how important HER life is...... right!!
There isn't a single thing that you can do to change her. Her behavior is as much a part of her as her skin. Her behavior won't change until her skin leaves her body.
Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if your MIL is also my SIL. The SIS is one very ego-centric person. I am so tired of hearing about HER, HER things, HER wishes, wants and desires. I am ever tired of listening to how smart she was in high school.
We have just got to accept the fact that some people think that the world revolves around them. Therefore you understand how important HER life is...... right!!
There isn't a single thing that you can do to change her. Her behavior is as much a part of her as her skin. Her behavior won't change until her skin leaves her body.
That's what I have been told by a handful of people who know her and it is hard not to believe them.
I also think her boyfriend is only adding fuel to the fire. Sometimes I think he's somehow brainwashing her because she seems to be distancing herself more and more as time goes by. The boyfriend doesn't like her sons and she doesn't stand up for them when he talks badly about them...in front of me...and it makes me uncomfortable because this man is the father of my child. I don't say anything, just try not to let it get to me.
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