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I wouldn't be either. I'd do what I had to to make sure the baby was fed but I wouldn't be going out and buying gifts for a shower. I'd save my money for when they need diapers later. I'd be PO'd if it was formula they needed. If you're this poor, you'd better take the formula mother nature provides almost free.
That's a bit cold. She said that her boyfriend had a steady job until she was well into her third trimester. Should she have had a crystal ball at the ready? What is wrong with helping others out in a time of need? Why do some of you have such an issue with sticking it to people in a bind?
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin
Why is the OP even having a baby? She stated they were almost homeless and the boyfriend lost his job.
I would be more concerned about how they're going to provide for this child then who is or isn't throwing them a baby shower.
Maybe his mother isn't thrilled that her 29yr old unemployed, unmarried son is going to be a father.
I wouldn't be.
Well first of all OP is due in THREE WEEKS. Perhaps she should get a late term abortion? Or give the baby away because her boyfriend lost his job LAST MONTH.
Too bad if she isn't thrilled. The fact of the matter is this baby is coming and is the woman's grandchild.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
Because the odds are against you. Even moreso than if you were married for, at least, a year before having a baby. Just how long have you and her son been living together? Was this baby planned or an accident?
So the odds are against her? So what does that mean? No one should care for her and her family? No one should lend a helping hand?
It doesn't matter if it was planned or an accident. The boyfriend lost his job LAST MONTH. NOT before she got pregnant.
I don't know why some of you like to throw in my face that we aren't married. She wasn't married to my boyfriend's dad when she had her son.
Does being married give you great parenting skills or something?
It certainly didn't give my parents any, as well as a lot of people I know.
It has to do with making a commitment. Marriages are harder to get out of than just walking out the door during an argument. Marriage does somewhat force people to ride through the difficult times and try to make things work. Just the fact that you won't commit to each other makes it more likely that you won't stay together throughout this child's life.
One more thought: Is the baby going to have 10 fingers and 10 toes? Are you going to deliver someplace safe and clean? Are you healthy? Is dad healthy? Sun going to come up tomorrow for a new day and a chance to live the life God granted you?
It has to do with making a commitment. Marriages are harder to get out of than just walking out the door during an argument. Marriage does somewhat force people to ride through the difficult times and try to make things work. Just the fact that you won't commit to each other makes it more likely that you won't stay together throughout this child's life.
Meh. Marriage does not a commitment make. My husband and I have been together longer than we've been married. That wedding day didn't make us any more committed than we were previously. Put that big ole broad brush down, mmmkay?
Well, what you've shared here indicates that she was entitled to what she got. There is NOTHING wrong with a mother staying home to raise her children.
You said she's receiving disability too. That might have something to do with why she didn't return to work when the kids were older. But that doesn't have to be the reason for her to stay home once the children were older. Let me also tell you, kids need a mother home MORE once they are in high school. THAT'S when kids need supervision THE MOST.
The father is equally responsible for their lifestyle being above his means. I think it's a damn shame this women is getting racked over the coals by the entire family. That alone is an excellent reason for her to be holding back.
I also think it's a shame that you are quickly embracing all of the nasty gossip that is being spread around about her. You're a women. You shouldn't be thinking that his mother didn't deserve to be provided for after she gave her life staying home with her children.
I am not looking down on her for wanting to stay home. She could have done whatever the heck she wanted to and I wouldn't even care. Worked, stayed home, worked part-time etc etc.
It is different to stay at home to care for your children...but it is a different story when one says they just don't want to work, even when the kids are are out of the house. She said she wanted to be taken care of. Her words according to 4 people in the family. NOT MINE.
And it is the same way now that one son is almost 30 and the other one is 26.
I like his mom, I just don't like her attitude. We used to go out shopping and out to lunch but it got old quick because all she did was talk about herself, if I said something she'd just look at me and say "Okay, but anyway, today my boyfriend and I..."
It is the same way when we go over to her house. Her other son and his girlfriend also seem to feel really awkward when we are there because she never asks them how they have been. She only talks about herself and her boyfriend.
One more thought: Is the baby going to have 10 fingers and 10 toes? Are you going to deliver someplace safe and clean? Are you healthy? Is dad healthy? Sun going to come up tomorrow for a new day and a chance to live the life God granted you?
Time to start being thankful for all you DO have.
Yes because people are only one-dimensional beings that can only experience and reflect singular emotions one at a time. We aren't multi-faceted, complex humans capable of feeling a range of emotions at any given time.
Meh. Marriage does not a commitment make. My husband and I have been together longer than we've been married. That wedding day didn't make us any more committed than we were previously. Put that big ole broad brush down, mmmkay?
My husband and I have been together longer than we've been married too. Actually, most people have unless they got married the day they met.
One more thought: Is the baby going to have 10 fingers and 10 toes? Are you going to deliver someplace safe and clean? Are you healthy? Is dad healthy? Sun going to come up tomorrow for a new day and a chance to live the life God granted you?
Time to start being thankful for all you DO have.
About the baby, we don't know. She's had some development issues, she is not growing like she is supposed to and that alone stresses me out a lot because they don't know why she is so small and so behind as far as her growth.
I was perfectly healthy before I got pregnant but my health has not been good, I have been admitted to the hospital 3 times, been to the ER a few more. I am hoping I will be okay once she is born.
Crap, I am scared. I am terrified. Whatever happens, I just want her to know she is loved and that her mom will never leave her - like my mom did.
I am thankful the father and I have a good relationship and he is extremely respectful of me. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't been there for me the whole time.
I like his mom, I just don't like her attitude. We used to go out shopping and out to lunch but it got old quick because all she did was talk about herself, if I said something she'd just look at me and say "Okay, but anyway, today my boyfriend and I..."
It is the same way when we go over to her house. Her other son and his girlfriend also seem to feel really awkward when we are there because she never asks them how they have been. She only talks about herself and her boyfriend.
Sounds like character flaw, not something to take personally. I'd be more upset if she treated everyone else well and treated me like garbage. It's like having a mean teacher. It's better if the teacher is equally mean to everyone instead of picking on one student.
My girlfriend's mother is like what you describe. One of my older sisters is like you describe. They have histrionic personality disorder. Maybe that's not her specific personality disorder. You mentioned she might be narcissistic. My point is that you can find some peace in just accepting that's the way she is.
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