Boyfriend's Mother Has Not Helped At All (toy, mom, money)
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Oh for goodness' sakes. Nobody really knows what any particular baby is going to need when it gets here, apart from a few obvious essentials.
We never intended to formula feed, and when we had to, we went through several different brands before we settled on one that didn't upset her stomach. We would have wasted hundreds of dollars had we bought the wrong type in advance. She was bigger than average, so more than a couple of boxes of newborn diapers would have been overkill. Same with too many newborn onsies.
You may have a bouncy and a pack and play and a crib, only to find out the baby will only settle down in a sling and a bassinet.
You need the things KAAC has already listed, that she says she has, and then you figure it out as you go along. Geez, you can even buy the wrong type of bottles before you know which one suits YOUR particular baby.
Buying much of anything in advance, apart from the basics - which despite what everyone tries to sell you is not that much - can be a costly mistake, you grow your equipment with the baby. Besides, nobody tells you either that most of it is totally useless 6 months out. So if you can use a couch instead of a changing table, or a sink instead of a fancy baby bath, I say go for it, especially if money is tight.
Oh Fin, it's not even about the fact that she doesn't know what "stuff" she needs.....It's more about the MOB mentality that takes place on here. Someone pops in and starts firing off and the next thing you know, the friggin MOB has circled and started attacking the OP. In this case, how very noble of the attackers...it's a woman in a high-risk pregnancy who is about to give birth in 3 weeks. **Her FIRST child! Her husband is unemployed!...the list goes on!** Instead of just getting some good-old, down home advice, the damn mob has had to circle and start pulling her hair and kicking her in the gut. Sickening!
What? You're going to give birth in 3 weeks, and you "really don't know what a baby needs?" I'm assuming you discovered that you're pregnancy at some point during your first trimester. So we won't count that. That means that from the beginning of the second trimester, you've known you were going to have a baby for the past 5 months. You've had 5 months to learn what a baby needs.
Instead, you're whining about the mother of your boyfriend? Really? If you couldn't spend the same amount of time learning what a baby needs, that you've spent posting your complaints here on the forum, then you really aren't mature enough for motherhood.
That was very mean..Of course she knows what her baby needs..Her wanting her mother inlaw to help isn't wrong. I don't see it as whining but the simple fact her MIL is a selfish B..
Her MIL can't extend a hand in the young couples time of need.
Why does her MIL feel the need to brag about she is buying?
I wish I could tell her MIL..grandma to grandma what a sorry excuse for a grandma she is.
Oh Fin, it's not even about the fact that she doesn't know what "stuff" she needs.....It's more about the MOB mentality that takes place on here. Someone pops in and starts firing off and the next thing you know, the friggin MOB has circled and started attacking the OP. In this case, how very noble of the attackers...it's a woman in a high-risk pregnancy who is about to give birth in 3 weeks. **Her FIRST child! Her husband is unemployed!...the list goes on!** Instead of just getting some good-old, down home advice, the damn mob has had to circle and start pulling her hair and kicking her in the gut. Sickening!
Exactly. It *always* happens on message boards. Internet balls.
That was very mean..Of course she knows what her baby needs..Her wanting her mother inlaw to help isn't wrong. I don't see it as whining but the simple fact her MIL is a selfish B..
Her MIL can't extend a hand in the young couples time of need.
Why does her MIL feel the need to brag about she is buying?
I wish I could tell her MIL..grandma to grandma what a sorry excuse for a grandma she is.
You better believe it JG! If my boyfriend's mom told me she was excited about the baby, for one...I'd be so relieved that she hadn't given me a nasty, cold shoulder and lecture me about how I SHOULD have been making sure that didn't HAPPEN. Secondly, when she started telling me how she was going to have so much fun shopping for the baby, and she was going to get this and that...again, I'd be so grateful, knowing that I wasn't in it alone and that I was going to have an emotional support system, with my baby's gramma!! What a dream come true!
Oh hey, the way things have apparently turned out, it was downright cruel for her to make those empty promises. I'm of the firm belief that you don't make promises, especially if you have NO intention of keeping them. If you say you're doing something, you damn sure better keep your promise! Any number of things pop up in life that can stop you from keeping those promises. I'd much rather be thought of as someone who simply says NOTHING, rather than be known as the liar or the one who NEVER honors her word. It's not even (the way it looks), like they actually ASKED for anything, or expected anything. They were told that she was going to DO things and therefore has consistently shown herself to be a liar.
Yeah, I'd whine and vent too....FIRST...then I'd never believe a word the person said, ever again. I've had that crap happen in my lifetime. I've had people trying to compete with others, hear someone say, "Oh hey Mel, I thought I'd give you ______if you need it, then had another person in the conversation say, "Oh hey! and I've got this and this you can have, and my sister has this, and my neighbor has this. They said I could have them if I knew someone who needed them." It leaves you thinking..."Wow, that is such a relief, what GOOD people!" Months go by and nothing....well at least from the "out-doer". When you finally ask them if those things are still available you get, "Oh you know, I completely forgot about that...noooo, I think they already gave it away, and the thing I had, I spaced it off and gave it to someone else."
People DO promise things that they can't deliver, because it makes them look so great and so generous. The problem is, if they're the "braggin" kind, they more than likely never have any intention of following through on their promises. It's simply another form of bragging to make themselves look important!
No one can make you feel bad unless you let them. Seriously, what someone else has, whether they're proud of it or not, has nothing to do with what you have and whether or not your're happy with what you have. The problem isn't bragging here. It's jealousy over what the bragger has. I don't see why people can't just be happy that someone else is enjoying their life the way they want to enjoy their life.
I said people who TRY to make me feel bad, I didn't say they could or did. I don't care in the least what anybody else has, and I have no problem being thrilled for them, congratulating them, and being proud of them. I have a problem being around people who are so self absorbed, self centered, and mean spirited, they would deliberately and constantly boast and brag just to make someone else feel bad, and make themselves feel superior. That has nothing to do with jealousy. A bragger would like to believe everyone is jealous, but some people, like myself, would prefer being around people with other interests and things to talk about besides themselves and what they have. I happen to like people who care about other people, and wouldn't go out of their way to kick people when their down. You call it jealous, I call it empathy.
Oh Fin, it's not even about the fact that she doesn't know what "stuff" she needs.....It's more about the MOB mentality that takes place on here. Someone pops in and starts firing off and the next thing you know, the friggin MOB has circled and started attacking the OP. In this case, how very noble of the attackers...it's a woman in a high-risk pregnancy who is about to give birth in 3 weeks. **Her FIRST child! Her husband is unemployed!...the list goes on!** Instead of just getting some good-old, down home advice, the damn mob has had to circle and start pulling her hair and kicking her in the gut. Sickening!
Exactly! I've seen it happen more than once here. Usually someone will post asking for advice, or help, and instead they get attacked. It would be nice if a person in need could just get some nice, motherly, fatherly, or friendly advice, even if they're handling something all wrong. If they're asking, that means they already know there's a problem. Instead, it's like wild dogs jumping all over their prey.
I said people who TRY to make me feel bad, I didn't say they could or did. I don't care in the least what anybody else has, and I have no problem being thrilled for them, congratulating them, and being proud of them. I have a problem being around people who are so self absorbed, self centered, and mean spirited, they would deliberately and constantly boast and brag just to make someone else feel bad, and make themselves feel superior. That has nothing to do with jealousy. A bragger would like to believe everyone is jealous, but some people, like myself, would prefer being around people with other interests and things to talk about besides themselves and what they have. I happen to like people who care about other people, and wouldn't go out of their way to kick people when their down. You call it jealous, I call it empathy.
Who cares if they try? They can't if you don't let them.
People are all different. If you don't learn to let things roll off you like water off of a duck, you'll spend a lot of time with your nose out of joint.
It's a lesson that you should take with you the rest of your life. Don't expect HELP from anyone, period. Of course you will get help from many but don't expect anything because once you start excpecting help, you will be sorely disappointed.
Graciously, accept anything that is offered but don't expect anything or think less of someone because they don't offer.
Exactly! I've seen it happen more than once here. Usually someone will post asking for advice, or help, and instead they get attacked. It would be nice if a person in need could just get some nice, motherly, fatherly, or friendly advice, even if they're handling something all wrong. If they're asking, that means they already know there's a problem. Instead, it's like wild dogs jumping all over their prey.
It's out and out bullying is what it IS! The worst part of it is, some of the people who get going and start joining in on the attacks are people who are normally kind, compassionate, down-right decent people. Someone starts a mob frenzy and the next thing you know, even some of the nice people join and and taking shots. It's horrible!
Look at it this way ... when the money runs out, she'll have no reason to come to the two of you with her hand out, reminding you of how she bought the baby's crib and how you owe her for that.
No, she'll remind her son that she changed his diapers and raised him. While mom is not obligated to help her son and his girlfriend with their baby, an argument can be made that a child owes their parent.
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