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There's a difference from sharing your good fortune with someone than rubbing people's noses in it. Yes, if I got a new car, a new job, or something else I was proud of, I would feel okay about telling people I cared about, and expect them to be happy for me. But when it becomes "my car is nicer than yours, my house is bigger than yours, my life is great and yours sucks," when people brag to people who aren't even that close to them, or when people are doing it for the purpose of making someone else feel bad or making themselves feel superior, then that's when it becomes ugly and mean. If I know I'm talking to a friend who is going through a difficult divorce, I might mention the nice dinner my husband cooked or something, but I sure wouldn't sit there and go on and on about my perfect husband and how wonderful he is. It's called tact and having consideration for other people's feelings. Clearly, the OP's boyfriend's mom lacks this, but that is just how some people are. Usually people who brag to that extent eventually find themselves with no one to brag to.
That's EXACTLY what I was trying to say.
She never has anything to say other than brag about what she is buying/what she is thinking of buying/what she just bought.
That is ALL she talks about.
Or she will talk about her boyfriend and how great he is and how she tells people they have been married for 30 years...and she says that in front of HER SONS. How do you think they feel knowing that she's been with this man for less than a year?!?
There's a difference from sharing your good fortune with someone than rubbing people's noses in it. Yes, if I got a new car, a new job, or something else I was proud of, I would feel okay about telling people I cared about, and expect them to be happy for me. But when it becomes "my car is nicer than yours, my house is bigger than yours, my life is great and yours sucks," when people brag to people who aren't even that close to them, or when people are doing it for the purpose of making someone else feel bad or making themselves feel superior, then that's when it becomes ugly and mean. If I know I'm talking to a friend who is going through a difficult divorce, I might mention the nice dinner my husband cooked or something, but I sure wouldn't sit there and go on and on about my perfect husband and how wonderful he is. It's called tact and having consideration for other people's feelings. Clearly, the OP's boyfriend's mom lacks this, but that is just how some people are. Usually people who brag to that extent eventually find themselves with no one to brag to.
So what? What do you care if someone has a nicer house, car, vacation, whatever? In order for the behavior to bother you, you have to let it bother you. Some people are proud of their acquisitions. So what? Why do you think they have to play by your rules?
I'm not a material person. Because I'm not a material person, it doesn't bother me when someone else brags on what they have. I just tell them that it's nice. That's all they want to hear. To them it's important. I think it's silly but I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion here so if a pat on the back makes them feel better, I'm game.
OP, You mentioned she was a young, single, poor mother herself once. Maybe she feels like she paid her dues already. She was young and poor and struggled and no one helped her. Maybe she thinks that made her stronger and you need the same experience. Maybe she feels like she struggled for a long time, and now she is finally in a good place and shouldn't have to help someone else. It may be why she "Brags" about being able to buy things and travel now. She may just be so thrilled to have reached that point that it comes off as bragging.
The problem is, it's only a problem if YOU are the type of person to see it as a problem. It's not the bragging that's the issue. It's how the person seeing it takes it.
So what, my step mother liked to show off her newest acquisition. What did it hurt me to pat her on the back for a great find? Why should it bother me she had money to burn? And I had reason to have it bother me. The money she had came from my father when he died and passed to her children when she died. Once he died, it was hers to do with what she wanted.
What someone else has is no skin off my nose unless they stole it from my house.
Almost everyone that knows this particular person is somehow wrong in their opinion of her? Come on.
If you have no issues with "patting" braggarts on the back, that's fine. Unusual, but fine. Some of us don't like feeding into ridiculousness like that.
So what? What do you care if someone has a nicer house, car, vacation, whatever? In order for the behavior to bother you, you have to let it bother you. Some people are proud of their acquisitions. So what? Why do you think they have to play by your rules?
I'm not a material person. Because I'm not a material person, it doesn't bother me when someone else brags on what they have. I just tell them that it's nice. That's all they want to hear. To them it's important. I think it's silly but I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion here so if a pat on the back makes them feel better, I'm game.
I'm not a material person either. Which is exactly WHY people who are like that irritate the living hell out of me.
So what? What do you care if someone has a nicer house, car, vacation, whatever? In order for the behavior to bother you, you have to let it bother you. Some people are proud of their acquisitions. So what? Why do you think they have to play by your rules?
I'm not a material person. Because I'm not a material person, it doesn't bother me when someone else brags on what they have. I just tell them that it's nice. That's all they want to hear. To them it's important. I think it's silly but I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion here so if a pat on the back makes them feel better, I'm game.
But not everyone else is like you.
She knew d*mn well we were/are struggling...why keep talking about it? Seriously?
Would you brag about your million dollar house to someone who is homeless? (Just a scenario) Would you brag about your pregnancy to someone who's been trying to have a kid for 10 years and just found out she is infertile?!
There is a difference between being proud of something you have acquired or something you have done and constantly bragging about all of it in order to make yourself feel / seem superior.
I find it pitiful when you know people who go around boasting about all of their newest acquisitions, how much better their possessions are than so and so's, and then you find out they're being taken to yet another collection agency...or yet again, borrowing money from inlaws, or desperately trying to refinance their home...again, in order to keep from losing it all.
Yes. These are the same people who just can't seem to grasp why others see them as selfish. I have a very close relative who is like this. One of her children was on the verge of homelessness due to a domestic issue and this woman (the braggart) couldn't be bothered to help her. She told her daughter to go to a homeless shelter to see if they'd help.
OP, You mentioned she was a young, single, poor mother herself once. Maybe she feels like she paid her dues already. She was young and poor and struggled and no one helped her. Maybe she thinks that made her stronger and you need the same experience. Maybe she feels like she struggled for a long time, and now she is finally in a good place and shouldn't have to help someone else. It may be why she "Brags" about being able to buy things and travel now. She may just be so thrilled to have reached that point that it comes off as bragging.
I wonder what will happen when her ex-husband dies and money stops coming in...I wonder how often she is going to brag about her purchases... because she hasn't worked in the past 20 years.
OP, You mentioned she was a young, single, poor mother herself once. Maybe she feels like she paid her dues already. She was young and poor and struggled and no one helped her. Maybe she thinks that made her stronger and you need the same experience. Maybe she feels like she struggled for a long time, and now she is finally in a good place and shouldn't have to help someone else. It may be why she "Brags" about being able to buy things and travel now. She may just be so thrilled to have reached that point that it comes off as bragging.
To me that has bitter written all over it. I struggled my ass off over the past 15 years to get where I am and I would never think to rub my good fortune in another person's face. Nor would I turn a blind eye to someone who needs help.
Sounds like you are trying to put the focus on her, instead of concentrating on what you and your boyfriend can do for yourselves right now to ensure a good home for your baby.
If you want something from her, ask her directly - otherwise, don't be bitter about not getting whatever it is you seem to want. Not sure why you seem so entitled.
I know if it were my grandbaby, I would want to help, but I am the helping type and it sounds like she is not. What about his dad, your mom and dad, other grandparents, aunts . . . any good, helpful people among them?
Don't focus anymore negative energy on her, try to be positive and happy about the impending new life. Bitterness cannot be a good sea for your daughter to swim in.
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It's not the bragging that's the issue. It's how the person seeing it takes it. 
