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Carry on as if nothing happened?
Confront the mother for adultery?
Keep the child out of the affair?
Should the man be allowed to walk out without being legally responsible? Cause that ain't how it works in many states.
One thing for sure, as a step-child I sure got treated differently than my half-sibling, even if the man knew what he was getting into. Is it fair for me to criticize my former legal guardian for this or is this behavior something to be expected?
How could you expect a single right answer to such a question? There are so many different scenarios, it would totally depend on each situation.
Your post is exactly the point of my argument in the other thread... what good is gonna come out of the paternity thing.... so you're dad has been your dad for all your live.... he finds out your not his bio kid... he may, just may, resent the hell out of you, maybe not, but if he does you would feel it....just as I bolded your very own statement...... why should you as the kid be treated differently... is that fair to you..... I say no..... it's not....
Keep the kid out of the affair..... either try and keep the marriage going or split, but don't treat the kid like some kind of god damn pariah......
Is that fair to the kid, as in was it fair to you to be treated differently than you half siblings... and that is just a step dad.... imagine if it was the situation we've been talking about... how much different he might have treated you....
Why is this subject so hard for some people to get..... I'm not even a bleeding heart libby and I can't understand the coldness I've seen in these threads.....
I would break all ties with the child immediately and ruin the child's mother's live as best as I could. I would file to be financially compensated of all the money I had spent on the kid.
You bet my son would be fatherless right now if I discovered he wasn't mine. Of course, there's this great thing called paternity test which I recommend to all men.
It's in the child's best interest to continue in whatever stable, loving home the child already knows. The idea is to minimize the disruption. So even if a divorce is in the cards, removing a parent from the situation is not helpful to the child.
If you want to be selfish then be selfish, but don't kid yourself that a child old enough to remember you would be better off with your sudden departure from their life.
The child's best interest is to be raised by it's biological parents. Sweeping things under the rug so 'baby doesn't get mad' is stupid. Who is more selfish? The cheating mom or the cuckold who won't put up with said cheating mother or the kid that's spawned from said cheating? If the courts cared anything about the child they would search for the biological father and not just take money from the latest guy the woman is sleeping with. Nobody has a perfect life. The mom didn't care about the child she just wants money from the guy and the courts back her up and justify it by saying 'it's for the best of the child'.
How could you expect a single right answer to such a question? There are so many different scenarios, it would totally depend on each situation.
There is only one scenario: she had a child with a man that wasn't her husband/boyfriend and the man finds out. Stay with her and the baby, leave her and care for the kid, or leave them both.
You bet my son would be fatherless right now if I discovered he wasn't mine. Of course, there's this great thing called paternity test which I recommend to all men.
Little boys and girls think of many children as their daddies when their mommies are changing boyfriends and bring them for a brief period of time into their home. You argument isn't on spot on that one.
The part I don't like about you is your inherent attitude as displayed in here:
This reeks of downplaying the seriousness with the words "upset". And "mistakes". This just isn't a vocabulary of any guy I might ask about cuckoldry. Father being "upset". Mother making a "mistake". No way. Let me tell you something, you sound like a man-hating woman who disguised as a man to post in here and insidiously impose your desired thoughts. I agree on situation when we're talking about older persons, it's not like the guy would have any other option anyways.
And the whole situation is exactly my argument why any guy must never allow even a remote chance of that happening, yet it happens, it happens and it's very widespread. Cuckolding doesn't affect people who know of affairs and walk away, but the guys who don't suspect it as a general rule. The solution can be done independently on the mother and google is any guy's friend. I may post a random link, they even help them how to avoid any possibility of legal sanctions and remain complete anonymity. Some even have a video of a psychologist telling the guys what they might be thinking of, possible frauds, possibly getting caught, thier wife's opinion if they're doing it secretly etc, encouraging them what to do and stuff. They want people's money and they'll provide service that is ground-breaking for the guys who never suspected cuckoldry in the first place but they cought it by a routine test. They are definitely feeling great for it.
My opinion is that you deliberately downplay and discourage people from doing paternity testing on birth or you discourage an opinion that paternity establishment shouldn't be done by medieval methods any more, but via modern methods. You never wanted to agree that paternity should be a routinely done activity to avoid all the scenarios of finding out the child isn't yours after 15-20 years of raising a child that was result of your wife's affair or something. That tells a lot.
Let me tell you this. A guy rapes a woman with rohypnol involved. She ends up pregnant and gives birth, thinking it's someone else's child, possibly a deadbeat that she slept with a week before. She raises a child but she finds the truth after a number of years. She will be devastated, even though she never felt or knew of the rape. She'll be looking at the child she might love but when she thinks about it deeply she'll see it as a child of the guy who raped her. No guy in here would want to argue that she shouldn't be hurt because she never recalls of the details and that the child is biologically her own just like is the child of any other mother. Nobody would want to downplay the terror she may be going through on a regular basis when she looks at her child's face or eyes and thinks of it. Nobody is saying that, even though the child is biologically her own.
Yet you and so many people feel the need to downplay the cuckoldry, imposing the opinion that child is the true victim and downplaying how destructive it is for the cuckolded parent.
I sound like a man-hatin women disguised as a man....... Here I thought you were gonna play nice... I don't advocate anything, it's a simple as why ask why when it's too late to do anything about it.
If it were to be done, do it at birth..... WTF good is gonna come out of it when the kid is 15???
You gonna take him to court to sue for money.
You put a lein on his future earnings.
Sir, I don't have any agenda.... I start off with a simple supposition..... what good is gonna come out of it in the real world???
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