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It's setting a precedent for access that once started could be hard to argue againest when the judge makes the determination. The fob's family just doesn't seem trustworthy.
It's setting a precedent for access that once started could be hard to argue againest when the judge makes the determination. The fob's family just doesn't seem trustworthy.
The grandfather seems to be a jerk. The FOB seems to change his thoughts based on who's around at the time. So, he's not sure of a lot of stuff right now. I don't think that's too unusual. But, the fact remains he is the father of this baby. I'd think that, especially since he seems easily swayed, the more time he's around baby in a positive, caring environment, the more he'll be inclined to maintaining consistent and positive parenting. Seems like a win-win to me. If the dad wants to be3 involved in this child's life, he has a right to be. Regardless of whether his parents are ignorant or if his father is a jerk. I'd think helping him to be a good father despite his own lack of good role modeling is to everyone's advantage. Especially the baby's.
It's setting a precedent for access that once started could be hard to argue againest when the judge makes the determination. The fob's family just doesn't seem trustworthy.
As someone pointed out up-thread, it is too late to decide now that they don't like the FOB or his family. They are related to the baby every bit as much as the OP and her daughter.
It has been pointed out that, statistically, the FOB won't be in the picture long-term. He won't be, if the MOB's family keeps him away. He has every right to try to be a dad, and he needs to be allowed to do that.
The grandfather seems to be a jerk. The FOB seems to change his thoughts based on who's around at the time. So, he's not sure of a lot of stuff right now. I don't think that's too unusual. But, the fact remains he is the father of this baby. I'd think that, especially since he seems easily swayed, the more time he's around baby in a positive, caring environment, the more he'll be inclined to maintaining consistent and positive parenting. Seems like a win-win to me. If the dad wants to be3 involved in this child's life, he has a right to be. Regardless of whether his parents are ignorant or if his father is a jerk. I'd think helping him to be a good father despite his own lack of good role modeling is to everyone's advantage. Especially the baby's.
I am not saying keep the FOB from the child or that he shouldn't be encouraged to be involved....but it really does need to be done legally and sooner rather than later.
At some point, the FOB could come under the influence of his father more fully (his behavior is rather disturbing)...and not return the baby and/or push for full custody based on twisting anything that goes on in the house when he's there.
This is the honeymoon phase right now....people are happy and the endorphins are pumping....but honeymoons end...and sometimes sooner than anyone thinks.
I am not saying keep the FOB from the child or that he shouldn't be encouraged to be involved....
Really? It sure sounds like you are...
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG
It's setting a precedent for access that once started could be hard to argue againest
A precendent for access that needs to be argued against...? - that actually sounds very much one parent limiting or discouraging access to their very own child to the other parent. Based on pretty much nothing at this point. Except an annoying PITA of a grandfather.
A precendent for access that needs to be argued against...? - that actually sounds very much one parent limiting or discouraging access to their very own child to the other parent. Based on pretty much nothing at this point. Except an annoying PITA of a grandfather.
No, nothing says that FOB can't make arrangements to visit for periods of time on a case by case basis, but not to care for the child. If there is set schedule for it or the boy can claim that he had to be at the house because the mother was unable or unwilling to care for the baby......then it becomes a case of 'he said/she said' , a precedent has been set and Jersey's daughter can be prevented from making changes in the future or worse if he pushes back.
I've seen a young mother almost lose custody of her child because she was trying 'to be nice' to the FOB and his family and not get a custody agreement....in this case, it was the FOBs mother that pushed not to give the baby back after a visit and since there was no court order for custody...the police were unable to help. It took close to a week to get it settled and for my friend's daughter to get her son back and there were many lies told by the FOB (pushed on by his mother). (The FOB is now only allowed supervised visits because of all this. Not a good outcome for him either.)
It's much better for everyone to get it taken care of BEFORE there are problems. And the FOB's father is much more than annoying. His rapid cycling of views, his behavior in the waiting room...it points to a man that likes to be in control....and he's not right now. He could try to be more forceful in the future. The FOB seems like a decent enough, though immature, boy....but I can also see him being lead by the father.
Now that the little one is here....now is time to get it legally sorted out so there isn't heartbreak and drama later.
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