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We are at least two generations in the 'entitled' craze. It is hard to turn that around in one evening at a restaurant.
Responsibility/consequences. You can't instill that in one evening either.
It all starts with parenting, and showing the child that their behavior has consequences. You have to start when they are very young, and instill upon them that they have responsibility for their behavior, and if they don't accept it, the result is consequences. A time out, an hour in their room, missing dessert, a good spanking, or no trip to grandma's house this weekend because the child didn't behave in a certain situation. If you toe the line right from the beginning, an evening of behavior at a restaurant just falls into line. Children are not dumb, they know that if they act they will be reprimanded instantly, or not. These days, mostly not.
Today we hide under ADD/ADHD/Bi Polar etc. These are just euphemisms for 'I didn't instill behavior in my child and now I want you to develop a solution'. Too late when the child is seven or later. It has to start when the child is one or two.
And in restaurants, you have to be sensible about it as well. Kids have a window within which they can focus. 20-30 minutes, max. It is biological. So you walk in, sit down, skip the appetizer, order the main meal, an ice cream for dessert, a cup of coffee, and while we are eating, bring the check. All done in 30 minutes max. Perfect formula to keep everyone happy.
If not...you bring all hell down on the child so they remember the experience--it's called a learning experience. And they do learn if you stick to your guns (figuratively, as much as sometimes you might wish otherwise!).
I think banning children is ridiculous. My children behave at restaurants and for us to forgo our RARE family dinners out because they *might* misbehave is just stupid. I know, I know, we could just go to a different restaurant that didnt ban kids, but what if THAT is the restuarant that we really like? Our special nights are so rare that we always want tk go to ones tbat we love not just ones that accept children.
Today we hide under ADD/ADHD/Bi Polar etc. These are just euphemisms for 'I didn't instill behavior in my child and now I want you to develop a solution'. Too late when the child is seven or later. It has to start when the child is one or two.
While I would agree that some ADHD diagnosis are certainly faulty based upon parental 'guidance' (or lack of), I find it comical that you think bipolar disorder is just a result of faulty parenting. Is there a reason you have come to this conclusion, based on any sort of medical qualifications? Or did you just decide that and read the definition of the disease in a Webster dictionary?
Well, parents are as bad as little kids these days! Let me tell y'all what happened to my husband and I recently.
We planned a romantic date at our favorite Italian restaurant. We even went so far as to get a booth tucked away in the intimate bar area to be sure we were away from any potential crowds. We got to the restaurant at 7.
There is an area adjacent to the bar that isn't the main sitting area but it does have tables and it's separate from the main dining room but open to the bar - just not IN the bar area. Suddenly, to our horror, we saw a very large group of people come in - must have been about 30 adults and about 20 kids. Most of the kids were in the 6-8 age range, but some were older. It was obviously a soccer team and the parents. The kids were loud, running everywhere, but the PARENTS were much worse! The dads descended en masse to the bar (the actual bar, not the few booths in the bar area). They began very loudly socializing and drinking - all the while hollering back and forth to the other people in the adjacent area, calling loudly to new arrivals, that sort of thing. The kids then began running back and forth between the moms and the dads. Then the moms started coming over with baby carriers and actually dropping babies off with the dads at the bar. Of course, these dads weren't really into watching these two or three babies, so they just put the baby carriers on the floor (literally about five feet from us) and continued to drink and whoop and holler (some sort of game was on TV), while the babies fretted and squirmed. One baby began crying and it seemed to take the mother ten minutes to finally realize (over the noise) that it was HER baby crying and to come over and begin to loudly berate the father for not taking care of the baby himself (good point but does it have to be made at a very high decibel level?).
WE COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. Yes, the restaurant was open to the public, but no, it wasn't a "kid environment" and especially not adjacent to the bar. Everyone was drinking - moms and dads - yelling, laughing, ignoring the kids as they ran around all over the place.
We asked the waistaff if they'd had a reservation (we wanted to figure out if management had actually known about this beforehand) and we were quickly assured by the very harried waitstaff that they had simply walked in off the street and asked of there was a space for 50 people. The staff didn't realize it was a group of kids and had told them that they could make room for 35 or so and the rest could sit in the bar - and bingo.
We had already ordered our meal and had an appetizer and a couple of martinis, so we were pretty much committed to the meal, but trust me when I say our romantic evening was completely ruined.
Why this group didn't go to Chuck E Cheese or some other sort of place is beyond me. I guess the parents wanted to drink. Wow.
There was news some time in the last few years about a restaurant that wanted to ban patrons with young children and how common it's becoming. I remember reading the comments on the article. Many people without kids (and even some with) said they thought it was a fantastic idea a long time coming because they can't stand having their social outings (movies, dining out, etc) ruined by babies crying or little kids that can't behave.
Many parents objected saying they have the right to go out and do things too and their lives shouldn't have to stop just because they have kids, pointing out that they can't always afford a babysitter or otherwise don't feel they should have to leave their kids at home just to make other people happy. People should just accept that they're kids.
I'm not a parent. Just curious how you all feel about it and how you handle it, especially if you know your kids are particularly unruly? Are there places you simply won't take them or do you just hope that people will be understanding? Do you feel badly when your kids are disturbing others or do you just take it as it is?
I'm a parent & a grandparent, and I would buy stock in a restaurant that banned misbehaving children.
In fact, if my grandson is acting up, I won't go out to eat with them, because I know it's going to be embarrassing & annoying for me, and pure torture for the other patrons at the restaurant.
If kids are trained to sit at a table and behave properly at dinner AT HOME, then they should be able to do it in a restaurant. My mom, a single mom I might add, would take all 5 of us kids to a restaurant and there was never any fussing because we knew what behavior was expected at the table and what would get us a trip to the car for some serious "parenting". People always complimented her on our behavior and couldn't believe that one adult could keep 5 kids quiet. She worked at restaurants all her life, and we knew that she wouldn't tolerate any nonsense at the table.
Parents, if your child acts up in a restaurant, after 2 minutes of crying take them OUTSIDE and try to resolve the situation please. Let other diners enjoy their over-priced dinner in peace.
There was news some time in the last few years about a restaurant that wanted to ban patrons with young children and how common it's becoming. I remember reading the comments on the article. Many people without kids (and even some with) said they thought it was a fantastic idea a long time coming because they can't stand having their social outings (movies, dining out, etc) ruined by babies crying or little kids that can't behave.
Many parents objected saying they have the right to go out and do things too and their lives shouldn't have to stop just because they have kids, pointing out that they can't always afford a babysitter or otherwise don't feel they should have to leave their kids at home just to make other people happy. People should just accept that they're kids.
I'm not a parent. Just curious how you all feel about it and how you handle it, especially if you know your kids are particularly unruly? Are there places you simply won't take them or do you just hope that people will be understanding? Do you feel badly when your kids are disturbing others or do you just take it as it is?
Here's a novel idea: "Teach children to behave appropriately everywhere not just in public". This would actually involve PARENTING though so I'm sure the popularity of parents actually parenting is not socially acceptable so it won't happen often.
They now have the 21 and up movie theaters, so why not restaurants?
We went to see World War Z recently. The theater was packed and a family came in too late for them all to sit together. So the parents sat up front and had their two 7-8 year old kids sit together next to us in the back row. These kids were talking in a conversational tone throughout the movie. The parents would occasionally turn around, stand up and shush the kids. It wasn't until halfway through the movie when people were complaining that the parents decided to split them up and one of the parents traded places with one of the kids.
EVEN THEN, the kid was asking questions of the parent in a loud tone about the movie. They shouldn't even have seen that movie at that age. The plot was beyond their comprehension, of course they were constantly asking questions.
It ruined our experience. These parents are clueless. My husband and I vowed to only go to the 21 and up theaters from now on. It's definitely worth the extra $.
I think banning children is ridiculous. My children behave at restaurants and for us to forgo our RARE family dinners out because they *might* misbehave is just stupid. I know, I know, we could just go to a different restaurant that didnt ban kids, but what if THAT is the restuarant that we really like? Our special nights are so rare that we always want tk go to ones tbat we love not just ones that accept children.
Is this a nicer restaurant your talking about? If it is, patrons who go there are paying for a relaxing, quiet, enjoyable dinner. What about babysitters? ( im not saying for everywhere you go, just for adult establishments)
I will never forget the anniversary dinner at Ruth's Chris that happened to fall on Father's Day weekend. Never again. I cannot tell you how many people thought it was okay that small children were behaving like...well...small children, in such a fancy restaurant. If I am paying over $150 for 2 of us to eat dinner, I expect the atmosphere to match. I don't think it's appropriate for kids to be tossing silverware on the ground and bursting into loud fits of giggles when the waiter picks it up repeatedly, parents to be walking around with curious toddlers to explore the restaurant during dinner, or hearing a crying baby when all the other tables are in shushed whispered conversations.
I understand kids do those things. When I go to Chiles or Olive Garden, I have no issue with it--those are family friendly restaurants. There are kids menus! Bring your kids and teach train them up in those types of places! When I make a reservation at an upscale restaurant though, I expect upscale atmosphere. If your kid is fitting in without making a scene, GREAT! Welcome to upscale dining! If your kid is becoming noticeable in the middle of a quiet restaurant though, it's only fair to other patrons that you remove them from the situation.
(And if you can afford to bring your child to an expensive restaurant, you can afford a babysitter--$15 an hour is cheaper than the cost of a meal at those places!)
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