The post I never wanted to make but knew I would (health, money)
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Not fair, guys. I understand her ambivalence in this situation.
Right now her mind is conjuring up the most desperate situation for a pregnant teen.
It's easy for us to look at the situation simply. There's one thing we don't have that she does in all this and that's emotion.
What you go through as a mother of a pregnant teen is indescribable. As I sit here looking at my baby granddaughter. They will all figure it out. That's for sure. However they do it will be what's best for them. Right now the feelings and fear are so raw.
And it looks like YOUR child will be depending on the taxpayers because you, as a parent, cannot or will not take care of her.
You're welcome. Hopefully, she'll be off the streets and in a decent place soon and she can concentrate on eating well and getting proper nutrition for the baby. I'm willing to do that as a taxpayer. Yep. I'm willing to pitch in as a citizen and help the expectant mother who has a mother who has a list of excuses for why she can't help her own daughter beyond looking up "Welfare" on-line.
She couldn't even bother to do that. She came here asking us to do it for her. What's that saying about a chip off the old block?
It doesn't sound like the op is helping the daughter find a place, which I find strange. She comments that "they are looking in the wrong places" and that the boyfriend's parents are helping but I wonder why the op doesn't offer to help. I know that she said that she doesn't want the daughter back in her house but can't she help her look for a place of her own, guide her in terms of budget, etc.? It is her daughter who is homeless. This is a really sad situation.
It doesn't sound like the op is helping the daughter find a place, which I find strange. She comments that "they are looking in the wrong places" and that the boyfriend's parents are helping but I wonder why the op doesn't offer to help. I know that she said that she doesn't want the daughter back in her house but can't she help her look for a place of her own, guide her in terms of budget, etc.? It is her daughter who is homeless. This is a really sad situation.
This is the daughter she doesn't like, and it's expected that she doesn't really want to help her.
Not fair, guys. I understand her ambivalence in this situation.
Right now her mind is conjuring up the most desperate situation for a pregnant teen.
It's easy for us to look at the situation simply. There's one thing we don't have that she does in all this and that's emotion.
What you go through as a mother of a pregnant teen is indescribable. As I sit here looking at my baby granddaughter. They will all figure it out. That's for sure. However they do it will be what's best for them. Right now the feelings and fear are so raw.
Ambivalence would be doing nothing, at least not until it sank in. She's doing worse than nothing.
Not fair, guys. I understand her ambivalence in this situation.
Right now her mind is conjuring up the most desperate situation for a pregnant teen.
It's easy for us to look at the situation simply. There's one thing we don't have that she does in all this and that's emotion.
What you go through as a mother of a pregnant teen is indescribable. As I sit here looking at my baby granddaughter. They will all figure it out. That's for sure. However they do it will be what's best for them. Right now the feelings and fear are so raw.
She doesn't have to conjure up a desperate situation. Her daughter is sleeping in a car when the OP has a bed in her house. She chose to let her continue doing that.
I wouldn't be able to sleep if I had a pregnant daughter sleeping in a car.
There are posters on this thread who have had horrible accidents, have bad health, taken in elderly parents, dealt with being single parents and God knows what else. Most people go through stuff. That's the way life is. The OP is a professional with a job and plans for a vacation. She spent $$ on a daughter who broke the law but she wants to sign this one up for welfare and refuses to give her shelter. I'm still overwhelmed that a mother would do that. Especially one who makes a pretty bid deal about being a pro-life conservative while she excoriates people who are pro-choice or to the left of Newt Gingrich.
I'm the pro-choice liberal who would NEVER let my pregnant daughter sleep in a car but who is, at the moment, dang happy there's a system in place to help the child because it's going to have a mother who doesn't have her act in gear, a teenage father who, according to the OP, is either a horrible person or a great guy - who knows where the truth is, and a grandmother who thinks it's OK to let her pregnant daughter "learn a lesson" by being homeless.
Last thing I remembered was being in the car talking, then I blacked out and woke up five days later. If welfare wasn't there as a safety net I would have been stuck with $500,000 worth of medical bills, no job, no anything.
Yeah, I know... so why did you take such personal offense? It's not like the OP was describing someone in your circumstances.
Not fair, guys. I understand her ambivalence in this situation.
Right now her mind is conjuring up the most desperate situation for a pregnant teen.
It's easy for us to look at the situation simply. There's one thing we don't have that she does in all this and that's emotion.
What you go through as a mother of a pregnant teen is indescribable. As I sit here looking at my baby granddaughter. They will all figure it out. That's for sure. However they do it will be what's best for them. Right now the feelings and fear are so raw.
I think most posters understand ambivilence, disappointment, frustration...all of that. Most of us would admit we'd be feeling the same way under similar circumstances. The frustration lies in the years of threads and posts where Ivory has clearly, clearly favored her second daughter and posted about her older daughter with palpable disdain. Rarely has she had so much as a positive word about her. And now, here she is on the Parenting forum but apparently not seeking "parenting" advice in how best she might deal with the situation in a way that would benefit both her daughter and her grandchild-to-be (or even simply to seek the support of parents who have been there or can otherwise sympathize), but rather how best to wash her hands of her. Since she isn't here for parenting advice, and undoubtedly Ivory is able to use Google as well as anyone else here to find support in her area (heck, she is a high school teacher, I'd venture to guess that one of the counselors at the school could provide a number of resources available in her area) I tend to agree with a poster upthread who said the OP is likely posting to say "look, I was right all along...my daughter is a lazy bum, planned to get pregnant to avoid work...See...told you so!"
Last edited by maciesmom; 06-26-2014 at 05:53 PM..
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