Does spanking children really teach anything to our children in a positive perspective? (husband, mother)
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My parents spanked us quite a bit. Sometimes the spanking went a little further than what would be considered acceptable...belts, kicking, etc. My husband was spanked too, and beaten with coathangers, belts, curtain rods, etc. I don't think it did much for my behavior, but I didn't really do very many bad things. Most of what I got spanked for was fighting with my sister. That was going to happen no matter what...I wasn't going to let her beat me up and not retaliate.
My husband didn't talk to his mother for 16 years after he moved out of her house. When he did start talking to her again, he was so scared of her that he couldn't eat with her in the room. We see her a couple of times a year now, for an hour or two.
I don't spank my kids. My youngest's butt is still smaller than my open hand. It would be like spanking a cabbage patch kid. I spanked my older daughter a couple of times when she was younger, when reasoning with her didn't work and I needed to correct a behavior that could be really dangerous otherwise (running in the street, for example). I quit spanking her when she started saying she liked it and running to the mirror to see if she had a handprint on her butt.
Did I miss the memo where disciplining a child was supposed to require academic thinking.
ANYTHING worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. And what is more important than raising kids? My FIL used to get all bent out of shape that I read books. He thought I ought to use "instinct". Yah instinct is great for keeping your offspring from eating the poison berries or getting eaten by the bear. But we live in a complex society with complex notions of right and wrong and complex psychology and sociology. In addition to being helpful, the reading was interesting and edifying. Thinking has even been shown to delay the onset of Alzheimer's!
My FIL has long since agreed that whatever I was did and was doing was the right thing.
I am glad to be open to new ideas. (And I don't take reading a book or listening to people on the internet to be an "academic study".) Listening with an open mind on a board much like this one, though aimed at marriage not parenting, saved my marriage. What a helpful tool an open mind is!
Not sure what anecdotal evidence is going to buy you.
It was just a question I was throwing out there. Its not meant to be anymore than just a topic on this forum. If you don't like the topic, you don't have to answer.
My parents spanked us quite a bit. Sometimes the spanking went a little further than what would be considered acceptable...belts, kicking, etc. My husband was spanked too, and beaten with coathangers, belts, curtain rods, etc. I don't think it did much for my behavior, but I didn't really do very many bad things. Most of what I got spanked for was fighting with my sister. That was going to happen no matter what...I wasn't going to let her beat me up and not retaliate.
My husband didn't talk to his mother for 16 years after he moved out of her house. When he did start talking to her again, he was so scared of her that he couldn't eat with her in the room. We see her a couple of times a year now, for an hour or two.
Maybe i'm just confused, but when did disciplining a child require such an in-depth thought process?
Huh. Maybe that is my point. It SHOULD. It is only the single most important thing you do for the child, for your local community and for the world, raising the next generation that takes over when we have royally screwed the pooch.
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