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You wanted to know if people thought spanking was effective on them, but don't want to get into a debate on whether it's effective or not? I'm confused.
what's confusing? It just two questions. Were you spanked and do you do it to your kids. I'm not interested in debating whether you should or shouldn't because its a pointless argument.
Because I curious to see if people who were spanked felt like it was effective or not.
And that will depend on whether the person was spanked abusively or not. In other words, some spanking by some persons is abusive. And by others, it is not. When I was spanked, it was not done abusively. And when I spanked my daughter, I didn't do it abusively.
The current generation of parents will not be able to understand this. (So you may get a lot of misunderstanding and flack in this thread. . .)
Guess I shouldn't have said "every parent." MOST parents who know their child well enough to know what is effective and what is not with that particular child, and who are mature and in control of their own emotions and lives not to let a spanking cross the line into abuse.
Crossing the line to abuse isn't even in my conversation. I think the abuse bit is a distraction from interesting and useful concepts of better parenting. I think the idea that abuse avoidance is what we ought to be aiming at is nonsense. The idea that spanking is abuse is demonstrably nonsense.
I think it is interesting that no one is interested in discussing what discipline might be effective at achieving. I know at my job we would never discuss efficacy without first discussing the goal.
Goal:
Self discipline: being able to control their own selves. Choosing the right way even when no one is looking.
Character: Recognizing that good mental health is directly relation to good moral health. Integrity goes with you where ever you go, again whether anyone is watching you or not.
Responsibility: My actions have consequences. I am responsible for the consequences of my actions including remedy and amends as needs be. I also need to be aware that some consequences have no remedy or amends (as with say killing someone in a drunk driving accident. Hopefully the kid has broken Aunt Matilda's priceless Ming Dynasty vase and GETS that some things cannot be undone before getting behind that wheel.)
The list is a great deal longer. But it seems putting the cart before the horse, as I have mentioned before, to speak of effectiveness before speaking of the goal we are seeking.
Here is my better response, because my parents did it.
We've already established that "because my parents did it" isn't a rational reason. We've already established "because it's effective" isn't a rational reason. If that's all you've got, I can't take you seriously anymore because you lack intellectual depth.
what's confusing? It just two questions. Were you spanked and do you do it to your kids. I'm not interested in debating whether you should or shouldn't because its a pointless argument.
Because stating effectiveness on ourselves and our own children IS debating effectiveness.
Spanking is a very controversial and debatable topic, which I'm sure you knew when you started the thread. How is it interesting to sit reading 5 pages of "yes and no" and "no and yes?"
And that will depend on whether the person was spanked abusively or not. In other words, some spanking by some persons is abusive. And by others, it is not. When I was spanked, it was not done abusively. And when I spanked my daughter, I didn't do it abusively.
The current generation of parents will not be able to understand this. (So you may get a lot of misunderstanding and flack in this thread. . .)
I don't care about getting flack, i knew what I was getting into when I created this thread. I still appreciate the support.
Last edited by nighttrain55; 01-05-2012 at 07:13 PM..
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