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Here's the million dollar question, if these guys aren't living off your tax dollars, then why do you care? I'm pretty sure if these guys were lying dead in a ditch somewhere not one of you would give a crap but it sure is easy to criticize and scrutinize.
Why do you care that they sit at home playing video games, you wouldn't want to date them anyway?
In an ideal society, all of us would have jobs where we can support ourselves comfortably, but guess what, that's not reality.
My situation is a unique one,I didn't even go to college straight out of high school, no I started working but I didn't want to work dead end jobs for the rest of my life so I went to school. My mom hasn't worked since '98 because of multiple strokes. when I was 13, my dad who had been supporting us passed in '08 so me and my brother have been supporting mom since then. And you really want to know what the funny thing is, the person in our house that fits the bill of the guys that are the subject of our article is our sister. That's right, me and my brother are the ones who are doing the heavy lifting but our 20 yr old sister. She's more worried about making friends than finding a damn job even though we've tried time and time again to tell her that her priorities are screwed up.
As for dating I've been working towards getting my own place and when I do, rest assured I'll be sitting in there playing video games firing up the porn because I've earned that right and I'll be damned if anyone tries to take that right away from me. I spent a lot of my younger years bending over backwards for dates. Never again. If that means I'll be alone well I'm used to it now so no skin off my back.
Sounds like you Loved him but didn't like that type of personality?
Honestly, he was a nice guy. A good person. He just never grew up. What I disliked most was the lack of sex and his general disinterest. But we were good friends.
If you want to talk to some of these real men, just visit your local military base, fire station or police station.
Ahaha if you think the manchild problem doesn't exist to an even more extreme degree in the military. Boys pulled from the furthest end of the can't hack it in the real world spectrum, given a guaranteed paycheck that's almost entirely disposable income, free meals, and place to live.
The living with parents thing? If he's a no good mooch, yeah there's a problem. However USA isn't exactly booming with well paying careers at the moment. College is expensive and doesn't guarantee success in this world of networking and nepotism. Some guys are smart enough not to go into debt on a false promise, wish I had that foresight. I certainly don't have that luxury of living with my parents, not that I wanted to. If they were still alive I'd be the one taking care of them with very little time to myself and a future. It was pretty much like that the years my mom went downhill. No one saw it as "He's taking care of her in her golden years" but rather "What a loser living with mommy!" I had to pay for her meds and what not... I see articles like these and comments like that making me want to rage and correct the morons who think otherwise. All my living relatives are co-dependent deadbeats, thankfully just a few months ago we've went our separate ways.
The thing all these articles fail to mention is moving out at 18 and living on your own is almost entirely an American phenomenon, and a recent one at that. In actual 1st world countries where owning a house is almost unheard of most kids live at home through university age and sometimes beyond or live with roommates for many years. In southern Europe, families with children living at home into their 30s until marriage is the norm. Pre-WWII America was similar- multi-family units, several generations sticking around the homestead, etc. etc.
People make the mistake of assuming that something they and their parents grew up with has always been the case. A lot of people I know my age who settled down ages ago, have kids, into the middle of their careers, etc. are going back to how we used to live in many ways. They buy decent sized houses and have their retired parents, sometimes aunts and uncles move in to help with kids. Even for people with a little money it makes way more sense and they manage to do something that Americans haven't for decades- save.
I read most of that article. Sounds like these guys need to grow a pair and cut themselves loose from their parent's apron strings. My parents would certainly help me out if it came to it, as I would them, but I would never dream of just intentionally bleeding them dry because I was lazy and couldn't get my **** together. If anything, I should be supporting them when they get old and need help, in recognition and repayment of everything they invested in me so that I could go out and live life.
i hate to say this but i agree.. A lot of guys have a lot going for them, car, job, living on their own, have a ton of activities.. but because they dont have a nice enough car, powerful enough job, big enough apartment or house.. They are overlooked.
Or they are simply homely looking. Most decent looking women want a man who is good looking enough to show off to their girlfriends and relatives, and not one who looks like a troll.
So, because women were given a chance to be successful, and succeeded, it's our fault men are living at home and mooching off their parents? Men get PLENTY of opportunities, women are still only 3% of Fortune 500 CEOs, women comprise less than 3% of my chosen career field. Men need to quit blaming their lack of success on women.
Oh, and I happen to prefer 'average Joes' as do most of the women I know. I don't think it's too much to ask that a man doesn't live with his parents, has a job and doesn't sit around playing video games, looking at porn and smoking weed all day. Apparently, not wanting those things is considered too 'upscale' now?
I haven't read the article yet but your post hit a nerve. Men aren't blaming their lack of success on women but, it must be said, the recent chronic lack of success that millions of men are experiencing is not being duplicated on the female side! Men are being outright set up and fired so companies can give their job to Asian H1B's at 30K less per year. A woman who wants a STEM career is golden. My ex was a lab technician making 30K. She was laid off and given a grant to learn Hospital Administration Software. Two years later she more than doubles her salary and two years after that she is in the six figures. I have been in IT for over 20 years and never got out of the 30's. Her complete lack of understanding of the dynamics of employment and compensation for African American men killed the joy that might otherwise have surrounded her success.
You say you prefer Average Joe's. Fine. I'm sure you know that most men do not live with parents (this isn't Italy) and all the rest of the slacker list you posted. Plenty of men can be found that are working at something. But the number is getting smaller every day. Through no fault of their own. Successful women like yourself are going to have to be more empathic or tough it out alone. A guy in a STEM career would think nothing of dating a woman that lived with her parents. Just saying.
The other day I was talking to my ex and she was wondering about a vacation destination. I suggested my city. Remember we broke up because I was struggling to pay back breaking child support and was living in a SRO and she wanted to go skiiing and to Rome and snorkeling, etc. and I just couldn't keep up. Without missing a beat this woman who outearns me 10:1 asks me if I'm paying. And she was serious. So I'll read the article now but I doubt I'll learn anything I don't know already. If the author is female I fully expect that she thinks men should just pull six figure jobs out of their behinds and make it so that women that have six figure incomes can stash it all in the bank and live off what their boyfriends or husbands make. Not you, I read somewhere where you said you outearned your ex's. But were you ok with it or was there mild rebuke in your voice whenever issues of money came up?
This is great. A growing trend of little boys that refuse to grow up and behave like men.
I think the rest of the men is society that are actually responsible, independent and exhibit sign of emotional and financial maturity should be celebrating right now.
Seriously. Given the current situation in the US regarding these adult clowns that are living their lives this way. . . . Women with good jobs and that have their lives together should be fighting over the remaining men available to be with them.
And statistically, if such a large percentage of men are living their lives the way that the article says they are. A guy that has his own house, career, financially stable and acts like an adult man should have on average 5-6 women that potentially want to be with him and will not take him for granted.
You really should read the ENTIRE article...it's really interesting.
Part of it states that men DON'T want relationships because they can live at home for free and use porn for sex. Why go out with a woman (i.e. spending money, needing to be emotionally available etc.) when they don't have to?
How are they becoming second rate citizens?
And what does the government have to do with anything?
What is wrong with a man who would rather deal with porn than a relationship? You have to understand not everyone wants the same things out of life. Some dudes only want sex, and I see nothing wrong with that whatsoever. To be honest, I just do not have the personality to deal with many women in a relationship. I find too many women I come across as too needy, and I am the type that likes to do what I want, when I want, how I want and with whom I like doing it with. Plus it is much better for men like this to be dealing with porn as opposed to creating a bunch of kids they will not take care of.
Besides, I read the article and was nothing but an agenda written drivel.
I haven't read the article yet but your post hit a nerve. Men aren't blaming their lack of success on women but, it must be said, the recent chronic lack of success that millions of men are experiencing is not being duplicated on the female side! Men are being outright set up and fired so companies can give their job to Asian H1B's at 30K less per year. A woman who wants a STEM career is golden. My ex was a lab technician making 30K. She was laid off and given a grant to learn Hospital Administration Software. Two years later she more than doubles her salary and two years after that she is in the six figures. I have been in IT for over 20 years and never got out of the 30's. Her complete lack of understanding of the dynamics of employment and compensation for African American men killed the joy that might otherwise have surrounded her success.
You say you prefer Average Joe's. Fine. I'm sure you know that most men do not live with parents (this isn't Italy) and all the rest of the slacker list you posted. Plenty of men can be found that are working at something. But the number is getting smaller every day. Through no fault of their own. Successful women like yourself are going to have to be more empathic or tough it out alone. A guy in a STEM career would think nothing of dating a woman that lived with her parents. Just saying.
The other day I was talking to my ex and she was wondering about a vacation destination. I suggested my city. Remember we broke up because I was struggling to pay back breaking child support and was living in a SRO and she wanted to go skiiing and to Rome and snorkeling, etc. and I just couldn't keep up. Without missing a beat this woman who outearns me 10:1 asks me if I'm paying. And she was serious. So I'll read the article now but I doubt I'll learn anything I don't know already. If the author is female I fully expect that she thinks men should just pull six figure jobs out of their behinds and make it so that women that have six figure incomes can stash it all in the bank and live off what their boyfriends or husbands make. Not you, I read somewhere where you said you outearned your ex's. But were you ok with it or was there mild rebuke in your voice whenever issues of money came up?
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A lot of men in the IT field are struggling to find jobs because many of them have been outsourced. Pretty much all of my father's friends and my family members who used to work in IT are now working just to keep a roof over their heads. This is important because this is a male dominated industry, many of these people made six figures for years. I used to make an above average wage until my job was outsourced four years ago, and ended up having to work at a much less paying gig at a college. I then went back to school in IT and have not had success in landing an IT gig. I am now at a point where I am training for other field as well, culinary and the baking sector. People have to understand a lot more men are working than they give credit for.
Also, these articles are prime examples to the black men posters on this board who act as if black women are the only money hungry women and act as if their is no foolishness from white women.
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