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I was just talking to a homeless man in the shelter who had just been released from jail 'for non payment of child support can you believe it??' later 'I got 6 kids and none of them will talk to me.' Put him in jail. Get him fixed.
Simply not true. A court can award custody of a child to a father and impel the mother to pay support.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dysgenic
Sure, a court theoretically can award custody to Dad. Problem is, effectively the court won't award Dad custody, that's the issue. Laws may be written gender neutral but they are certainly not enforced in a gender neutral way.
Another important point is that even under the rare circumstances that Dad is awarded custody, many courts will not enforce a child support order against a woman. The court where I reside is one example. I know of one cases where Dad won custody because Mom tried to hire someone to murder Dad. Even after winning custody, Mom never paid child support. Dad took her to court 8 times over several years and the Court would not enforce the order.
The same exact court will throw Dad in jail if he gets 4 weeks behind.
There is an appalling gender bias in American family court.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vacoder
I hear you talking but I see no links supporting your claims.
My ex refused money that I was giving her for cs. Also refused me from seeing them. I saved up enough money to hire a lawyer and take her to court. My wife that I have now stood by my side, helped me go through books on custody rights and outlined a draft of what rights I wanted. Even as far as telephonic communications, even web cam when possible, and even non disparaging remarks in front of the children. Because my ex had a tendency to fabricate lies and fill the kids heads full of bull crap about me and my now wife. (The kids and her boyfriend both told me this.) My lawyer was shocked, saying that I've done my homework and the only thing he had to do was to represent me and communicate with the ex in court.
Fast forward several years and the crap just kept piling on. She wanted to extort more money for visitations, keep them away from me, cut my time short on the holidays... I began leaving paper trails, logging everything she was doing (breaking court orders)...doing EVERYTHING the legal way. Because a good friend of mine told me to log everything. Which I'm glad I did. Even almost getting arrested for blowing up in the police station because they didn't want to do anything about it. Always said it was a civil case. Being the smartass I can be, I told them that yall won't do a damn thing to her, while she's in contempt, but yet how fast will you arrest me for keeping the kids past visitation hours. They didn't like it....
Well we went back to my lawyer and they said straight up that I would have to spend money for another court date, find her in contempt, get visitation again and guess what... She can do the same thing 2 weeks later.
It shouldn't be like that. I wanted to be in their lives and yet the mom gave us hell.
So I just quit trying. I've been called a deadbeat dad way before and after my decision. Which I didn't take lightly. Being someone that's hard headed and fights for what I have and believe in.
Whereas she did slip and say for me to take custody of the kids once. I said sure, then you'll be paying me child support. That didn't fly well.
Mothers like that are reasons that there's deadbeat dads. Granted, there are some sperm donors out there and will do absolutely nothing for their children. Now that's true deadbeats.
The system, up to and including the welfare system needs to be looked into and revised.
Plus...there are dads that get locked up for failing to pay child support due to job loss. How can you get another job while sitting 45-90 days in jail to pay support?! Even some gets their licenses suspended or revoked. Now how in the hell are you supposed to get to work with no license? Break the law and drive, get caught and possibly jailed? Sheesh...
Some women out there are not fit to be called mothers. They should be the ones paying child support to the father. And they should be happy that the father wants the kids in their lives, not creating drama.
Welfare is about 90% used for kids in America and it goes until they are 18 years old, or until they can find the father put him in jail take over support. The 12 month to 5 year limit is for adult welfare which is frequently turned into disability for people with drug addictions live on the streets that is for life. Depending on their work history may only be a few hundred dollars to 2-3 thousand dollars. You can be approved for being a drunk, or a drug addict. What isn't talked about in the news is how many come over the border illegally have children here in the US and put them on welfare those kids are American citizens their parents are not illegible being illegal. They get free healthcare, and about $1500 a month until they are 18. I can't say I don't blame them who would not want that coming from slums in mexico. We created the system we have to fix it or live with it.
I know someone who was raped got pregnant because she didn't want to have any contact him she never reported it. She got welfare for her son until he was 18 years old, and then notified the state on the whereabouts of the man who Date raped her. He was married, and claimed it wasn't his but DNA testing said otherwise he had to pay the state back every penny. His son never wanted to speak to him because he was 18 the courts could not force any visitations he never attempted to contact either of them.
Adult welfare? There's no such thing as cash welfare payments to adults without children. Clinton signed welfare reform in 1996 that limited cash payment to single parents to five years. States reduced that even further. Single parents cannot get cash welfare for all of 18 years like that and haven't been able to in a long time.
The child support system as administered does seem to be unfair. It should be evenly balanced, but it clearly isn't. If the mother makes $60,000/year and the father makes $40,000, then the mother should contribute 60% of the child's support. I alos think it;s unfair that a parent should have to continue paying support when unemployed, if through no fault of his or her own and the other parent is employed.
Rulkes are easy in practice, but then people come along and game the system.
Sure, as long as physical custody is shared 50/50.
BLAME SOCIALISM
All authority for non-custodial child support comes from your "voluntary" participation in national socialism (aka "Social Security").
Prior to that, no state imposed a duty to support upon a parent deprived of possession of his children.
“ Where mother is awarded the custody of her minor children on a decree of divorce from the father, he is thereby deprived of all rights to the services of the child, and consequently is freed from all liability to the mother for the care, support, and maintenance of the child.”
- - - Husband v. Husband , 67 Ind. 583, 33 Am.Rep. 107 (Ind.1879)
“ When a wife deserts her husband, and continues to live separate from him, and retains custody of a child, refusing to deliver him up to the father, who offers to support him, an action cannot be maintained against the father for the support and education of the child.”
- - - Fitler v. Fitler , 2 Phila. 372 (Pa.1857)
BLAME SOCIALISM
All authority for non-custodial child support comes from your "voluntary" participation in national socialism (aka "Social Security").
Prior to that, no state imposed a duty to support upon a parent deprived of possession of his children.
“ Where mother is awarded the custody of her minor children on a decree of divorce from the father, he is thereby deprived of all rights to the services of the child, and consequently is freed from all liability to the mother for the care, support, and maintenance of the child.”
- - - Husband v. Husband , 67 Ind. 583, 33 Am.Rep. 107 (Ind.1879)
“ When a wife deserts her husband, and continues to live separate from him, and retains custody of a child, refusing to deliver him up to the father, who offers to support him, an action cannot be maintained against the father for the support and education of the child.”
- - - Fitler v. Fitler , 2 Phila. 372 (Pa.1857)
Think how much better the world would be if people just did the right thing
Don’t have children if you don’t think marriage is a permanent deal?
You don't get to decide singularly if marriage is a permanent deal, though it is oft used as an excuse to avoid supporting children. It is not atypical for a person (often male) to assume STAYING in an unhealthy or even abusive marriage is solely a financial decision.
Maybe if men are forced to pay more, they’ll think twice about having kids.
Yet women aren't forced to pay anything. Not even $1/mo.
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