Using Asperger's as justification for antisocial behavior

[AnthonyJ34]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

And lonely.

I cannot tell you, as a special ed teacher working closely with preeteens and teends with autism spectrum disorders, how much my heart has broken for kids with Asperger's who have broken down in my classroom after school, sobbing because nobody wants to be their friend, due to their behavior, which others rightfully feel as rude, snide, condescending, disinterested, and aloof. It has to be a terrible, conflicting feeling to strongly believe that you shouldn't have to adopt what you feel are "fake" manners and social skills, but also recognize that if you don't, that means accepting that many will find you unlikable. Especially in the teenage years, among those who haven't yet talked themselves out of caring about social acceptance. It's not surprising that such dissonance would make a person feel hostile and persecuted.

Yeah, that would be terrible to be so conflicted. And, of course, lonely.

I am a non-Aspie, and I know how to properly socialize and say the right things and act appropriately in social settings. But more often than not, I feel like such a fraud when doing so, because often, my true feelings and thoughts don't jive with the external behaviors that I am showing in a given situation. But I'm sure that is something many people feel, so it's probably not just some unique thing that I experience. For me, it's more a case of me being a natural introvert, one who is often perfectly fine with being in a social setting and not saying anything at all. But because society as a whole seems to favor extroversion, and because most social interactions seem to require a certain amount of extroversion from each individual, I feel obligated to 'play along,' and that requires me to wear an artificial social mask in order to fit in, or to be appropriate, or to meet the demands of a particular social setting. It's all rather daunting and tiring. But I do play along because I care what other people think of me to a point; and I also strive to be polite and courteous and respectful of others and of the various social situations I encounter, so I basically have no choice but to play the game.

But for the Aspie, I can only imagine how difficult it would be.

[Freealex]

I have aspergers. I'm pretty normal and am able to talk to people although it way feel awkward at times. I don't know why people act like all people with aspergers are freaks. I had a speech class once and probably gave better presentations than half the people in the class. I don't tell anyone that I have aspergers because it's really no big deal. When I was little it was really bad though because I literally felt like I couldn't talk sometimes. For people with aspergers grade school is usually very miserable and lonely. I never really had friends.

[TabulaRasa]

There are awfully different degrees of affectation, as well. For every person whose Asperger's symptoms feel mild and have a fairly minor impact on their lives, there is someone whose ability to interact positively with others in numerous settings in life is severely compromised.

[jtur88]

Besides being Aspergers, I am also blind. I use it as a justification for bumping into people with my cart at the supermarket, and stumbling over chairs and small children, and for not knowing when you're trying to hand me something, or offering to shake my hand, which offends you.

They are disabilities that affect my behavior. I try very hard to do the things that non-disabled people do, but . . . . I just can't.