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No. It's like trying to make a color blind person understand colors by explaining it to them. More realistic is compensation, teach the person to label their locks so they match. Social skills can be improved with coaching and help as well, usually it is from speech therapists. In children, they work a lot on recognizing expressions, for instance "show me which picture is the sad person". It's never going to extend to nuances though, no matter the training.
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Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
No. It's like trying to make a color blind person understand colors by explaining it to them. More realistic is compensation, teach the person to label their locks so they match. Social skills can be improved with coaching and help as well, usually it is from speech therapists. In children, they work a lot on recognizing expressions, for instance "show me which picture is the sad person". It's never going to extend to nuances though, no matter the training.
Yup, we can all find ways to 'adapt', but it occasionally takes some effort on both sides, Which is my objection to the folks who would rather take the hyper-defensive and do-nothing attitude, aka, "let's simply redefine everything and maybe it'll go away"…or even worse, "hey, it's not my problem"!
Yup, we can all find ways to 'adapt', but it occasionally takes some effort on both sides, Which is my objection to the folks who would rather take the hyper-defensive and do-nothing attitude, aka, "let's simply redefine everything and maybe it'll go away"…or even worse, "hey, it's not my problem"!
I do agree that there are people with disabilities, whether mental and physical and every other kind, who use their disabilities as excuses. I don't think it's in any way unique to those with social communication disorders though (such as Aspergers). I work with folks with physical disabilities ranging from back problems to amputees, and many are content to just collect disability and say "I can't because of ____). I know others with ADD who use it as an excuse for procrastinating or not accomplishing their goals..I have ADD myself and more things are definitely a struggle, but I find ways to compensate and succeed despite it being harder. These things are not IMO any different than someone on the spectrum using their particular disability as an excuse for their particular problem areas. It is very hard to do without help though. I am lucky in that my education taught me ways to compensate (I'm an OT) and I know what strategies to try on myself, etc, but not everyone is capable of this.
Haha, I was trying to figure that one out, but the basics of what you were trying to say came through. They found alternative ways of doing something.
I was unsure whether picking up social cues was something that could be learned, even if the person with Asperger's would never be able to come to the level of what is considered "normal", the way other people who don't have social skills or who have problems in relationships can learn to change their behavior from their automatic response to a more thoughtful response.
For example: I was raised with a great deal of criticism. In the family/culture I come from, it was thought that praising or complimenting a child would cause them to get a big head and think too much of themselves, so the idea was that you always put the child down, especially when they were trying to accomplish something. Therefore, I "hear" negative criticism even when none is intended. Because I sought therapy, I know this, but just knowing it didn't change it. I always will have to stop and assess when I hear negative criticism whether it is actually intended as negative criticism or if someone is simply making an observation or statement of fact.
The difference is probably that my problem is learned behavior, while Asperger's is a neurological characteristic.
Those are not typical traits for Aspergers.Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang is Aspergers (IMO and the opinion of many, although never addressed on the show) that is typical Aspie behavior, of course not all have the brilliance he has (however many do)
Of course I'm sure there are many people with mixed diagnoses, on the spectrum but also suffering from bipolar disease too, etc. Maybe the people you know who show aggression are people with multiple mental disorders
I'm glad I started watching Big Bang Theory. The character Sheldon Cooper and I have so much in common. I live my life virtually oblivious to what other people think. I don't typically follow normal social conventions, and some of the social rules totally escape me. I hang around with the same people who understand me; others find me weird. I have little routines that others find odd.
I'm really not stuck on routines, though. My need for routines stems from believing that people are unpredictable, so I have routines that "protect" me from them. (I kind of think of them like Dexter's rules, really. 'try not to meet someone you know out of context,' 'always stare at their foreheads or noses for a few seconds when you are talking to them,' 'make sure a conversation with a stranger never exceeds one minute,' 'NEVER talk about your obsessions,' 'DON'T reveal that you are an Aspie to everyone; fake normality to fit in,' 'overlearn the conventions and pleasantries,' etc. ) I know how to hold a somewhat decent conversation, (although I do ramble and don't really like changing topics at times. I also sometimes have an issue realizing when the person has lost interest.), can detect obvious sarcasm, irony, and other literary conventions when used in speech (I have a degree in English, so that should be the case anyway.), can read facial expressions and obvious signs of frustration, etc. The only abstractions I'm bad at understanding are subtle social cues, advanced mathematics, and some points of literary philosophy.
I'm so grateful for Big Bang Theory. The character Sheldon Cooper and I have so much in common. I live my life virtually oblivious to what other people think. I don't typically follow normal social conventions, and some of the social rules totally escape me. I hang around with the same people who understand me; others find me weird. I have little routines that others find odd.
I'm really not stuck on routines, though. My need for routines stems from believing that people are unpredictable, so I have routines that "protect" me from them. (I kind of think of them like Dexter's rules, really. 'try not to meet someone you know out of context,' 'always stare at their foreheads or noses for a few seconds when you are talking to them,' 'make sure a conversation with a stranger never exceeds one minute,' 'NEVER talk about your obsessions,' 'DON'T reveal that you are an Aspie to new people; fake normality to fit in,' 'overlearn the conventions and pleasantries,' 'use the internet to vent about your frustrations and learn about neurotypicals,' etc. ) I also know how to hold a somewhat decent conversation, (although I do ramble and don't really like changing topics at times. I also sometimes have an issue realizing when the person has lost interest.), can detect obvious sarcasm, irony, and other literary conventions when used in speech (I have a degree in English, so that should be the case anyway.), can read facial expressions and obvious signs of frustration, etc. The only abstractions I'm bad at understanding are mathematics and some points of literary philosophy.
I was wondering if Sheldon had Asperger's!!! Thanks for the confirmation. I couldn't be sure because I have only seen a few episodes.
My guess is that they bring up their Asbergeters to explain that their behavior might be strange at times. My autistic son also has these problems and worse because of his handicap. But we don't let him use it as an excuse. We expect him to try to behave as normal as possible, even though we know that at times he will not.
My guess is that they bring up their Asbergeters to explain that their behavior might be strange at times. My autistic son also has these problems and worse because of his handicap. But we don't let him use it as an excuse. We expect him to try to behave as normal as possible, even though we know that at times he will not.
It is nice to have the label, though, in case something does go wrong. I remember I had the worst time socializing as a child; I couldn't really see social conventions, and my mom thought that if I asked her a question it was a sign that I was challenging her authority, so she usually replied with something to the effect of, "because I said so..." or "I don't know; I never really thought of it like that" depending on the context. I never received counseling or testing for my issues as a child. Mom only told me, more or less, that I wasn't trying hard enough, and I eventually started pretending to be uninterested in social things to avoid the embarrassment and pain. I see now that many of my issues, including the ongoing feuds I had with my mom, were likely related to my problem.
That doesn't sound in the slightest like Asperger's. A true Aspie would lack any ability to be devious and manipulative...on the contrary, those acts require better ability to read and thus play people, not worse. I think your friend's daughter must have been misdiagnosed.
I think so too.... I mentioned it primarily due to the OPs title for the thread. Once the "diagnosis" came in, things got so much worse for that family.... It was such a shame, so painful, to watch that friend of mine go through.
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These things are not IMO any different than someone on the spectrum using their particular disability as an excuse for their particular problem areas. It is very hard to do without help though. I am lucky in that my education taught me ways to compensate (I'm an OT) and I know what strategies to try on myself, etc, but not everyone is capable of this.
