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Ok so how do you build and maintain a friendship if that is your behavior towards your friend? I thought the point was to be available for people you care about.
There are many more effective ways to maintain a friendship than TEXTING! Like meeting the person face to face, sharing time in person. Like actually talking to them in a meaningful way for more than 20 seconds at a time. The content of the communication matters a lot. I understand that much of the appeal is that texting is pretty immediate. Doesn't mean its a great way to communicate in general. Being immediate also implies that nothing is more important than YOU. Sorry, your need for instant gratification/validation doesn't rule my life even though we're friends. A true friend understands this. Pretty much everyone is juggling multiple things all the time unless they're asleep. I happen to hate texting...my phone is older and it isn't very convenient. I politely tell people I need to communicate with that texting isn't the best way to contact me. They get it. Most of them admit they hate texting too. No one has died or cut me off just because I don't text them.
Last edited by Parnassia; 01-16-2020 at 04:56 PM..
BUT - if you frequent the Relationship Forum, you would learn that not texting back momentarily is a red flag the size of China. Beats the good look, charm, intelligence and good money almost every single time.
People get anxiety attacks and engage in wildest speculations if someone doesn't reply in a timeframe of 4 hrs, max. Not to mention the zillions of threads asking to help decipher messages like: "He said he likes me - what does that mean?"
I don't think I'll be hanging out on the Relationship Forum anytime soon. I feel sorry for these people.....
Ok so how do you build and maintain a friendship if that is your behavior towards your friend? I thought the point was to be available for people you care about.
Are you seriously saying that if you were on a date, with a group of friends or having a meal with your mother, you would start texting other people right in front of them?
Are you seriously saying that if you were on a date, with a group of friends or having a meal with your mother, you would start texting other people right in front of them?
You know she does.....this is a case of 'addicted to texting'. I see it constantly at the gym.....these kids do a set and then sit on the machine and text for 10 minutes.....irritating as h*ll.
Please don't get me wrong. When I'm super busy at work I even forget to eat at times with my hyper focus. But majority of the times, if I see a message on my phone, It must be checked and replied to. I can't just look at a message and be like "Oh I'll just reply back later because I'm too self observed to give someone time of the day." If I am asked a question even in person. I feel the need to reply back. If I don't know the answer, I'll go searching for it so I can get the answer and reply them back with.
For example I cannot leave an email unchecked. It must be checked, trashed, archived or something. I can't have outstanding notifications laying around on my phone but mainly emails and texts. Honestly, I hate phone calls unless its business. I don't like friendly calls to chit chat, I prefer text
If you talk about business communication then yes, you get paid to answer emails, calls and text inquiries promptly and efficiently.
But private messages? They don't have to be checked and answered right away. Especially if they are just casual chit-chat and nothing urgent or important.
To tell you the truth, I often don't answer the phone when I am busy or don't feel like. I screen who is calling, let them leave voice mail and call back according to importance.
Heck, I don't even answer the door when someone is ringing the doorbell unannounced and I am busy, or sick or just simply not in a mood.
There is no laws saying that I MUST entertain those who just pass by or feel bored and want to chat.
Same with text messages.
I am NOT going to be a slave to my phone. None of my friends would expect that, and those who do, aren't my friends.
We all have life to live.
If you talk about business communication then yes, you get paid to answer emails, calls and text inquiries promptly and efficiently.
But private messages? They don't have to be checked and answered right away. Especially if they are just casual chit-chat and nothing urgent or important.
To tell you the truth, I often don't answer the phone when I am busy or don't feel like. I screen who is calling, let them leave voice mail and call back according to importance.
Heck, I don't even answer the door when someone is ringing the doorbell unannounced and I am busy, or sick or just simply not in a mood.
There is no laws saying that I MUST entertain those who just pass by or feel bored and want to chat.
Same with text messages.
I am NOT going to be a slave to my phone. None of my friends would expect that, and those who do, aren't my friends.
We all have life to live.
All that makes sense. I feel as I’m sending the wrong message if i see the message and not reply. The other person may take it as I don’t want to be bothered with their bs. In return damage our relationship or friendship etc.
Returning someones call 3 days after is ok because phone calls take time but can’t do the same with texts.
I'm one of those people who always responds back to texts within a matter of minutes. That is mainly because I always have the phone on me just like everyone else. Unless you're a new mom who have like 3 little kids running around and got baby duties and that is almost like 10% of people we know, if that. So majority of the people have no excuse to not text back or unless you live in a box and still carry a flip phone that you need to mail back to the 70s.
Am I the only one who is so responsive? Are there people out there who can relate?
Seriously, OP, you text back within minutes? Thanks for the heads-up; I'll be sure I'm not driving behind you, EVER!
Returning someones call 3 days after is ok because phone calls take time but can’t do the same with texts.
You've got it all wrong. A phone call is personal, and shows that someone is actually reaching out to you. A text is just a little piece of BS...so impersonal......Wow.....
Although nowadays with all the robocalls, I don't answer my phone at all unless the name is saved in my contacts. If it's important they can leave a message and I'll decide if I want to return the call......
You've got it all wrong. A phone call is personal, and shows that someone is actually reaching out to you. A text is just a little piece of BS...so impersonal......Wow.....
Although nowadays with all the robocalls, I don't answer my phone at all unless the name is saved in my contacts. If it's important they can leave a message and I'll decide if I want to return the call......
The point is to get the message across the most convenient way possible. The quickest way would be through texts not call. There are allot of situations when you cannot pick up calls. Isn't it better just to drop a text which takes 2 seconds?
I'm one of those people who always responds back to texts within a matter of minutes. That is mainly because I always have the phone on me just like everyone else. Unless you're a new mom who have like 3 little kids running around and got baby duties and that is almost like 10% of people we know, if that. So majority of the people have no excuse to not text back or unless you live in a box and still carry a flip phone that you need to mail back to the 70s.
Am I the only one who is so responsive? Are there people out there who can relate?
My phone is for my convenience, not yours. I will respond when and if I desire. I make no excuses for that.
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