Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I guess what you have to ask yourself is, what is your end game here? If you're contemplating something long term and possibly considering closing the distance between you two, then here's a few things to consider.
- You don't drive. That means, if you ever lived together you are at the mercy of his willingness to take you places.
- He's showing signs of controlling behavior, this will only worsen if the two of you become exclusive and eventually live together.
- He drinks a lot. At 38 years of age he's reaching the end of his physical prime and won't be able to keep getting drunk everyday without some adverse affects.
- It's still only the beginning. As Onglet stated, at one month, you're still putting your best foot forward. I'd guess all those cute little gestures of remembering small details and making you feel special won't last for several more months. Right now, you are fresh and exciting to him. As the months wear on and he's grown accustomed to you, that 70 mile drive is going to feel like 700 miles. It won't be long before he'll either insist you move closer to him (or in with him), or he starts cutting down his visits to short booty calls when he's feeling horny.
I'd say just take it one day at a time but don't invest too much more of yourself into this relationship. Take it slow and after another month or two you'll see for yourself whether or not he's going to be long term material. Something tells me he's not, and I think you know that as well. Until then, enjoy the great sex and just keep things light and breezy until it wears itself out.
Damn girl, you've got a lot going on in your world! If you've only been dating this guy a month and you already know he drinks too much and is trying to control your life, what else is there to stick around and learn??? Wait for him to drink too much one night, wait for you when you come home from a night of clubbing and beat the sh*t out of you?
Alcohol and jealous/controling behavior NEVER have a good ending! I would not spend too much time getting into this guys head because although you may be into him for the fun and sex of it all, he could have much deeper feelings and they don't have anything to do with love. Be careful.
A general rule that I always go by is that the first six months of dating/relationships should be nearly perfect. Both parties should be on their best behavior. If there are huge red flags right away, time to move on.
This is a time to get to know each other, to want to impress a person and have them really fall for you. If you're really into someone, don't you go out of your way to make them feel special, hold your temper, say nice things, try not to be clingy, etc?
If this guy can't behave in the first few weeks, think about how he will be in a month or two.
He's trying to make you dependent on him by sucking you in slowly. Watch out for this one!
yeah I agree. This is probably goin to get dangerous. And it'll happen before you realize it and it's gonna make it hard to get out. I'm really sad to say it too because as you described everything else is awesome. Sadly, the awesomeness is probably just to suck you in.
I would enjoy this as purely a fun relationship based on good sex. Don't invest any emotions in someone like him...living at home at his age with his mother...some men are such momma's boys.
A special 'thumbs up' to max's mama for her hilarious but oh so true statement about the 3 inches
You might be a suitable fun time for a guy but your need to party and your lifestyle is not one of stability. Any guy that was looking for a serious life partner would not be interested in selecting a good time girl for that. Living with a Ex boyfriend is more than a Red flag. Wanting to go to the clubs most nights of the week is also a serious Red flag to anyone hoping for stability and suitability.
Ouch, but yes.
OP, don't get me wrong. When I was your age, I went out practically every night, too, at least to happy hour. That's not the stuff of a serious, "real" relationship, though. Never has been, never will be.
I guess what you have to ask yourself is, what is your end game here? If you're contemplating something long term and possibly considering closing the distance between you two, then here's a few things to consider.
- You don't drive. That means, if you ever lived together you are at the mercy of his willingness to take you places.
- He's showing signs of controlling behavior, this will only worsen if the two of you become exclusive and eventually live together.
- He drinks a lot. At 38 years of age he's reaching the end of his physical prime and won't be able to keep getting drunk everyday without some adverse affects.
- It's still only the beginning. As Onglet stated, at one month, you're still putting your best foot forward. I'd guess all those cute little gestures of remembering small details and making you feel special won't last for several more months. Right now, you are fresh and exciting to him. As the months wear on and he's grown accustomed to you, that 70 mile drive is going to feel like 700 miles. It won't be long before he'll either insist you move closer to him (or in with him), or he starts cutting down his visits to short booty calls when he's feeling horny.
I'd say just take it one day at a time but don't invest too much more of yourself into this relationship. Take it slow and after another month or two you'll see for yourself whether or not he's going to be long term material. Something tells me he's not, and I think you know that as well. Until then, enjoy the great sex and just keep things light and breezy until it wears itself out.
Sounds like words of wisdom to me!!!!
You should be spending your days at Neptunes with lots of men, not with this one dude!
the problem wit a short term relationship might be that you already really like him and it will be hard to break it of some people think they can just cut the strings done with but your dating him and your not using him just for plesure so it will be more complicated and possibly you may become so bramwashed and minipilated by his charm you may end up like some woman who marry there abuser its best not to be involed with someone like that in the first place
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,004,411 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
It wasn't scandalous. But please remember that this board is PG13. We don't need to know the details. If it's amazing, that is all you need to say.
I have to agree with this. Like I said to someone else, some people like to weave a story around a titilating comment. *yawn* Other than that, it's too soon in the relationship to get too excited about him, imo. I'd just have fun and not expect.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If you've only been dating this guy a month and you already know he drinks too much and is trying to control your life, what else is there to stick around and learn??? 
Wait for him to drink too much one night, wait for you when you come home from a night of clubbing and beat the sh*t out of you?
