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I have to agree - option 2 is just plain dumb. It shouldn't even be an option. Either option 1 or call it off with no counseling. If she is living her life FOR YOU and you alone, the marriage shouldn't take place. In one of your earlier posts, you wrote that she said something along these lines. That's a bad way to be in a relationship (living for the other person), not healthy at all.
I understood what you meant. Some people simply are not the right fit, even if they do love each other. Love alone isn't enough to make a marriage work.
All right, you've done enough pussyfooting around even after you've come to realize what you need to do. Time to put an end to that. Grow a freaking spine and do what you need to do.
Where is the wild applause smiley when you need it?
Well said Drover.
I frankly don't know why your fiancee would want to go ahead and marry you, if you've leveled with her about all of this... Why does she want this so badly? ... It's almost as though she's desperate to go through with it, regardless of the truth.
It sounds like her biological time clock may be ticking really loudly. She wouldn't be the first woman to enter into marriage, although it has every appearance of being unlikely to succeed.
I can't believe people are telling him to end it ,or stay, without even knowing either one of them.
In a thread of clueless folks, contributing to the cacophony, this is the best post
1. Sharpie is confused.
2. I bet the fiancée is not American grown. So quit thrusting American fianceehood on her.
3. None of us know the fiancee's actual self, including sharpie
None of us can tell if their marriage will work out or not. You're all contributing to cyberspam
Option #2 is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That's what engagement is for, not marriage. Being engaged is the stepping stone to a real marriage, there's not supposed to be another after you say "I do." You either do or you don't.
Option #2 is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That's what engagement is for, not marriage. Being engaged is the stepping stone to a real marriage, there's not supposed to be another after you say "I do." You either do or you don't.
it seems like the option with the least amount of immediate pain :-( I fully know and understand that it may not be the ideal thing to do given the circumstances, but i feel like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. -Sharpie
And God forbid there should be pain in a situation like this
In an effort to avoid any pain you're about to make a disasterous mistake
At this point there is nothing else anyone can say to you - you already know you're going to go thru with it.
Just please do not show back up here in 3 years complaining about how miserable you are and how you "should have followed your gut instincts but didn't" and expect any sympathy from those of us who have warned you.
2. I bet the fiancée is not American grown. So quit thrusting American fianceehood on her.
I'm wondering about that. If she's not American and doesn't have citizenship, that might account for a lot of the desperation to get married and the child care center in Sharpie's basement. Could be that she needs the marriage for permanent residency. (Hence why I'd never consider marrying a non-U.S. resident.)
This is a train wreck waiting to happen. I think we all know by now that he's going to go ahead with the marriage. How long he'll stay in it is anyone's guess, but I'm guessing less than a year.
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