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I hear ya ladies, but tonight ask him seriously if the day of the wedding that little voice didn't ask "You know this is forever and are you sure this is the right woman ?" Usually we tell that voice to shut the heck up, put on our pants and get married to the woman of our dreams.
It's a common guy self doubt, but we get over it.
Well, while I don't agree that all have doubts, I also don't believe anybody would admit such a thing to THE wife , so it's a moot point really...
I asked my husband, too, a while ago. Now I can't remember what he said exactly. It was along the lines of 'why do you think I'm like guys on the internet?'
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawk J
aisle,
darlin'
Thank you. For FSM's sake, I've been spelling that wrong forever. Yea, I'm off on an isle somewhere in the twilight zone. I'm lucky I came back in time to correct it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin
I hear ya ladies, but tonight ask him seriously if the day of the wedding that little voice didn't ask "You know this is forever and are you sure this is the right woman ?" Usually we tell that voice to shut the heck up, put on our pants and get married to the woman of our dreams.
It's a common guy self doubt, but we get over it.
As I mentioned above, I did ask him. My husband never, and I mean never, sheds a tear. The day of our wedding was the first time I saw his eyes water up. He's so devoted. It's definitely odd by CD standards. I think it's a personality and experience thing. His parents stayed married until his father passed. All his siblings, save one, are married with kids. His family is about as healthy, white picket fence, successful in every way a family can get. Me, OTOH, I came from divorce and strife. Those experiences left me worried with cold feet throughout the engagement. Surprisingly, being married to him is better than when we were dating.
I asked my husband, too, a while ago. Now I can't remember what he said exactly. It was along the lines of 'why do you think I'm like guys on the internet?'
My husband said a similar thing "I'm not like most men".
I don't think he would lie about something like this, he's very open about his feelings and if he had doubts, he's tell me.
I asked my husband, too, a while ago. Now I can't remember what he said exactly. It was along the lines of 'why do you think I'm like guys on the internet?'
DH tells me all the time I need to stop reading "internet people nonsense". Sometimes when I tell him what someone online wrote, he gives me this look that says, "You are insane for even repeating that."
My husband said a similar thing "I'm not like most men".
I don't think he would lie about something like this, he's very open about his feelings and if he had doubts, he's tell me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliTerp07
DH tells me all the time I need to stop reading "internet people nonsense". Sometimes when I tell him what someone online wrote, he gives me this look that says, "You are insane for even repeating that."
That's ^^^ where my dh tends to go. And he doesn't like it when I go up to him with this or that question based on reading threads lol. All well!
There's not a man alive who hasn't thought of dozens of reasons to not get married the last 2 weeks.There is always a universal male "Oh Crap, is it too late to back out ?"
It's a lot like being a kid and having your father say you're getting it when you get home. The hours or days of anticipation is much worse then the event.
I tend to agree with this, if only from personal experience. I'm sure there are men who were confident and went after their to-be spouses with zeal - it's only that I haven't been exposed to many of them.
I can remember overhearing one of my brothers actually asking my mom, on his wedding day, while he was adjusting his tux, etc., if she thought he was doing the right thing, and if this girl was the right one. She laughingly and gently reassured him that yes, she was sure she was. I don't think he was so much questioning it than the fact that he just wanted to have some reassurance. They've been married for almost 30 years now. He adores her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin
I hear ya ladies, but tonight ask him seriously if the day of the wedding that little voice didn't ask "You know this is forever and are you sure this is the right woman ?" Usually we tell that voice to shut the heck up, put on our pants and get married to the woman of our dreams.
It's a common guy self doubt, but we get over it.
Chow and I have posted about this a lot, but it's really funny, so many of my family members and in-law family members have come up to me, in one way or the other, and have stricken up a conversation about guys not wanting to get married, or they grill me about why I don't want to, as if trying to trip me up and prove me desperate. Most of the time, I don't know what they're fricken talking about until I realize, OH...., it's the whole marriage thing. They can't believe that I really don't want to marry. They think I'm settling for Chow's sake or something. Chow doesn't care about marriage either, but I seriously think that he'd acquiesce to it before I would.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
I believe it happens, but not nearly to the extent you indicated by saying "there's not a man alive who hasn't had doubts". THAT is simply not true.
My husband could not wait to marry me and basically swam thru alligator infested waters to do so (figuratively speaking of course ) There was not a doubt in his mind.
Now THAT'S a husband.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliTerp07
DH tells me all the time I need to stop reading "internet people nonsense". Sometimes when I tell him what someone online wrote, he gives me this look that says, "You are insane for even repeating that."
I laughed out loud at this. This is basically what I told my SO when he first started perusing CD; Relationships forum at least.
I called off an engagement one month prior to our wedding and it was the best thing that I ever did for myself and probably for him.
The marriage seemed like the "proper" thing to do, the next logical step, the route that was expected of us but I was unhappy and had many reasons not to trust him and clearly he was not happy with me if he acted the way he did. We did not share the same long term goals...he thought I lived in an Utopian world and was too idealistic...I thought he was too jaded and had developed a hard shell around him...
He is on his second marriage and I am happily married to a wonderful man, so I guess it all worked out the way it was intended.
Don't worry about the guests, the caterer, the photographer or returning the gifts...those are technicalities...your happiness isn't!
Don't worry about the guests, the caterer, the photographer or returning the gifts...those are technicalities...your happiness isn't!
You clearly haven't read the thread, have ya?!
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, so it's a moot point really...
He adores her.
