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I am 30 years old and have no children. I don’t think I ever want children, or to own a home, because I would rather do without the responsibility of either. I like shopping sprees and being able to go on holidays whenever I please.
I have a very cushy job which includes massages every week and requires next to no really hard work.
I find that others often make me feel guilty for the life I lead. They make me feel lazy, irresponsible and immature because I have not chosen the same 2 kids, big house, mortgage, years in college to work a 12 hour a day job, that they have.
They tell me there “comes a time, when you have to settle down”.
Oh…?
I'd like to be introduced to whoever is making these rules for my life.
Is this just jealousy?
There is no reason to do anything other than what you are currently doing. If YOU are happy then who's to say what you should and should not be doing, right?
Everyone has different ideas about life but it seems like you can't get away from those who are already married with kids, etc... and those are always going to be the people who are naysaying you and your actions.
I say keep living your life according to what's good for you. NO one else has any say and while it's darling of them to show their concern (hahaha), you just keep on truckin'.
My only advice would be that you say you have a nice cushy job which affords you certain luxuries - in this economy jobs are becoming scarce, people are getting laid off left and right and I would be sure to be putting money in savings JUST in case something were to happen.
God gives each of us free will. Go ahead and make any choices you like. It others complain, just smile and tell them how happy you are for their concern over your well-being.
I say keep living your life according to what's good for you. NO one else has any say and while it's darling of them to show their concern (hahaha), you just keep on truckin'.
My only advice would be that you say you have a nice cushy job which affords you certain luxuries - in this economy jobs are becoming scarce, people are getting laid off left and right and I would be sure to be putting money in savings JUST in case something were to happen.
Here is where I beg to differ. People do have a say. If by living a hedonistic life she ends up needing Public Assistance than others pay for her life choices. If she ends up being taken in by a friend or relative because her job went to China, and she has not done what you mentioned in your last sentence, than yes people have a right to judge her. BTW people that have bad times thrust on them are not morally deficient. It all depends on choices made.
It is one thing to enjoy life, it is another to be without responsibility.
It is one thing to enjoy life, it is another to be without responsibility.
Responsibility to whom? I didn't vote for the politicians that doubtless created public assistance, nor was I consulted for my opinion of such an agency. I've been down so far in the past that I could have used their help, but didn't.
To whom would I be responsible in that case? Only myself, right?
Here is where I beg to differ. People do have a say. If by living a hedonistic life she ends up needing Public Assistance than others pay for her life choices. If she ends up being taken in by a friend or relative because her job went to China, and she has not done what you mentioned in your last sentence, than yes people have a right to judge her. BTW people that have bad times thrust on them are not morally deficient. It all depends on choices made.
It is one thing to enjoy life, it is another to be without responsibility.
You cannot completely enjoy life without some responsibilities, like a mortgage/rent and utilities, otherwise it isn't truly enjoyable.
I don't think the OP was ever suggesting she wasn't taking care of herself financially, in fact her post specifically mentioned she had a good job.
It is no-one elses business what we do as long as we don't hurt others or become a burden on society.
I am 30 years old and have no children. I don’t think I ever want children, or to own a home, because I would rather do without the responsibility of either. I like shopping sprees and being able to go on holidays whenever I please.
I have a very cushy job which includes massages every week and requires next to no really hard work.
I find that others often make me feel guilty for the life I lead. They make me feel lazy, irresponsible and immature because I have not chosen the same 2 kids, big house, mortgage, years in college to work a 12 hour a day job, that they have.
They tell me there “comes a time, when you have to settle down”.
Oh…?
I'd like to be introduced to whoever is making these rules for my life.
Is this just jealousy?
VaNiLla, definitely live your life to the fullest on how you see fit.
I too, am a woman who chose not to have children. I can't tell you how many times how many women, some acquaintances and some total strangers, made it their mission to try and "convert" me into their "wisdom" of having children. I went to so many parties where someone was bound and determined to make me see the error of my ways. Anytime I went to the grocery store or department store the clerk or cashier (no matter what age) brought the conversation around to having kids. I've spent a lifetime constantly defending my position to total strangers who brought up the topic themselves. When I worked in a variety of offices, there was always some jealous old broad who couldn't stand to see me laughing and being happy. Well, that was her problem, not mine.
To my knowledge, there is no man or woman on earth who can forcibly make you attend your own wedding ceremony. Nor is there anyone who can force you to undergo a medical procedure to artificially inseminate you.
Just get used to re-educating and re-educating people (and they're everywhere you go in your day-to-day life) - this is my life, these are my choices, I'm quite happy, thank you for your concern.
I hope you reconsider having a mortgage though - home ownership is one of the most satisfying feelings you'll ever have. There is something wonderful about knowing you made a payment on a home - that no landlord or property manager can come on the premises. You can paint it, design it, have some pets, have people spend the night or longer if you wish - it's your domain, your sanctuary.
To whom would I be responsible in that case? Only myself, right?
Right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna
You cannot completely enjoy life without some responsibilities, like a mortgage/rent and utilities, otherwise it isn't truly enjoyable.
I don't think the OP was ever suggesting she wasn't taking care of herself financially, in fact her post specifically mentioned she had a good job.
It is no-one elses business what we do as long as we don't hurt others or become a burden on society.
Herein is the rub, deciding what hurts others. Individuals frequently make poor choices in that. I would never advocate that this should be imposed on them by a totalitarian society. I just know why certain societal standards are there.
It is a balancing act between doing what you want and being aware that you are a part of your surroundings. Too many are the type to ignore the warning signs and drive into the rain swollen river. After all it is their right to do what pleases them. Is it not? After all, no one will need to risk anything to rescue them from their free choice.
If she has money saved for a bad time, and she has skills that allow her to replace her job, than I think how much she wants to spend on manicurists is her own business.
VG, you're 30?? I thought you were 20. I'd say your current life circumstances are a very good fit for your maturity level. If I were you, I wouldn't be looking to take on any more responsibilities either.
I can't tell you how many times how many women, some acquaintances and some total strangers, made it their mission to try and "convert" me into their "wisdom" of having children. I went to so many parties where someone was bound and determined to make me see the error of my ways. Anytime I went to the grocery store or department store the clerk or cashier (no matter what age) brought the conversation around to having kids. I've spent a lifetime constantly defending my position to total strangers who brought up the topic themselves.
I find this very strange... I don't recall being bothered with such questions even once. Granted, I don't have an active social life. I've participated occasionally in such conversations, but only because I chose to.
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