I don't find women around my age attractive (early 40s) (romantic, different)

[onihC]

Originally Posted by ChinoCochino

For example it would be silly of me if I got all pissed off if a woman said in general, women find men with more money more attractive

Like I said, men may be attracted to women initially by how she looks to his eyes while women to men by his assets. Men usually go for the younger or at least younger-looking girls while women usually go for the men who are above their level and have money. Sounds cold on both men/women but that’s just how it is.

Asian look young when they are young but once they age, they age.

Yes, they age like everybody else but it seem they do a bit slower. Get an 18 year old American girl and compare her to an 18 year old Asian girl. Like you said, obesity in Asia is rare. Can be their healthy diets, lifestyles, etc. compared to western society where things are just, let’s say, a bit different. Obesity IS a problem in the USA.

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

Meh, there are plenty of men buying hair dye and rogaine and viagra as we speak.

Plenty? Sure, as much as women? Nope. I am yet to hear about all kinds of creams and lotions for each part of the face, body shaping clothes, etc. Of course there are exceptions. Admit it, women are more concerned about aging than men since ancient history.

[Dewdroplet76]

Originally Posted by onihC

Like I said, men may be attracted to women initially by how she looks to his eyes while women to men by his assets. Men usually go for the younger or at least younger-looking girls while women usually go for the men who are above their level and have money. Sounds cold on both men/women but that’s just how it is.



Yes, they age like everybody else but it seem they do a bit slower. Get an 18 year old American girl and compare her to an 18 year old Asian girl. Like you said, obesity in Asia is rare. Can be their healthy diets, lifestyles, etc. compared to western society where things are just, let’s say, a bit different. Obesity IS a problem in the USA.



Plenty? Sure, as much as women? Nope. I am yet to hear about all kinds of creams and lotions for each part of the face, body shaping clothes, etc. Of course there are exceptions. Admit it, women are more concerned about aging than men since ancient history.

Admit it - women are more concerned about aging and their looks because men place more importance on women looking better and younger. Really, it doesn't take a genius to figure that one out!

Why has this thread been revived!!! Who cares if some numbskull is attracted to younger women! I'm attracted to men who are 2 years older than me and are married to me! I'm not going to start a thread about it!

[Katnan]

Originally Posted by Dewdrop93

Admit it - women are more concerned about aging and their looks because men place more importance on women looking better and younger. Really, it doesn't take a genius to figure that one out!!

^^^^This x 1,000,000

[QuickStudy178]

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

What it means is that there is more than enough men out there for aging women.

I don't doubt that for one minute. I never contested this notion.

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

You don't have a good track record. You have an abysmal record given that you, by your own words, married a psychopath and spent millions on that failed relationship.

Well, actually my track record is not all that bad. Over the course of 32 years of dating and 34 relationships, I hooked up with one psychopath. Unfortunately, as misfortune would have it, the one psychopath was my wife.

I did not spend millions on the failed relationship. I spent millions strictly in pursuing sole custody of my daughter, and prevailed. I accomplished what less than 1% of guys can accomplish in the Courts, and I did it while up against one of the most tenacious and conniving individuals you would ever meet. So how is this an "abysmal" track record?

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

Now, you think it's a good idea to go and try to buy a 20-something? It just goes to show that people don't really change.

I have changed. I used to think that having a forever marriage was a worthwhile goal, and now I don't. I have no intention of deceiving myself into thinking any woman's genuine love can be bought, because it can't. However, what can be bought is pleasant companionship, which is fine for me personally. Of course, this won't be fine for those who want to have a forever marriage. And to them, I wish all the luck in the world, because they are going to need it.

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

Right, 99% of the population are psychopaths or dysfunctional. Again, you assume that your crazy can be generalized across the board. I certainly hope that's not the case.

This is not an accurate assessment of my position. I never said or implied that "99% of the population are psychopaths or dysfunctional". I do believe that 99% of the population is either single or involved in some form of an unhappy marriage, and that only 1% of the population is involved in a truly happy marriage. I am happy for you if you see one couple after another happily married and enjoying marital bliss. That's GREAT!

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

So, this is just a matter of misery liking company?

I don't really buy into this old adage. Personally, I tend to feel more miserable around miserable people, and they are certainly not the type of people I would gravitate towards.

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

I think happiness indicators are multivariate. It's not just the marriage, just the job, just the diet, just good genes. There are many variables that play into the reporting of happiness levels.

Of course. But let's face it, being married to someone and having to have day-to-day interaction with this other person can really add to whatever other unhappiness a person may have if that match is not just right. In other words, strife and discord on the home front can greatly exacerbate whatever other unhappiness that person may be feeling due to job stress, health issues, etc. Are you going to disagree with this?

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

Lets look at indicators to determine that-

• studies have shown that married people tend to earn more money and live longer than singles
• Marriage also appears to promote better health

Even with 48% (or whatever %) of marriages ending in divorce..."psychologists have pointed to marriage as the single most reliable happiness indicator. Across nations and ethnic groups, people report greater happiness from marriage than career, community or money. A 2005 survey from the Pew Research Center substantiates these assertions. Forty-three percent of married respondents reported that they were "very happy," compared to 24 percent of unmarried individuals [source: Pew Research Center]. Those results were consistent for all age groups and genders."

In my experience, psychologists and social workers are notorious for producing unscientific "studies". Ask these psychologists or social workers to produce verification of the statistical sampling group and their scientific methodology that supports their findings, and they look like a deer caught in the headlights. How do I know? Because I had one psychologist and social worker after another on the witness stand (11 of them), that's how.

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

The rest of the article notes that happy marriages start with happy people. That makes all the sense in the world.

That makes all the sense in the world?

Given that a person's happiness level varies throughout the day, and from day-to-day and month-to-month, a moving target if you will, this assessment can not be anything more than a general wishful-thinking type of notion.

I have attended plenty of weddings where the bride was not exactly having the happiest day of her life. She was stressing over details and worrying whether certain family members were going to get along, etc., etc. often to the point of becoming rather snappish.

[onihC]

Originally Posted by Dewdrop93

Admit it - women are more concerned about aging and their looks because men place more importance on women looking better and younger. Really, it doesn't take a genius to figure that one out!

Originally Posted by Liberty2011

^^^^This x 1,000,000

And like I have also said, men are concerned about having a good paying job, cool car, etc. because women place more importance on those things. Admit it. I also said those things can sound superficial but there is hope because there may be some women/men out there who look beyond those things. Did you miss that one?

[Dewdroplet76]

Originally Posted by onihC

And like I have also said, men are concerned about having a good paying job, cool car, etc. because women place more importance on those things. Admit it. I also said those things can sound superficial but there is hope because there may be some women/men out there who look beyond those things. Did you miss that one?

Did I miss something? I thought this thread was about some numbskull who was airing his preferences about women and age. Where did the money, cars, jobs part come into play?

Who cares about any of this? We all have our preferences. I could care less what anyone else looks for in a mate. I know that I looked for a great sense of humor, intelligence, and basically just someone who "got" me. I found him. He loves me for me, I love him for him. If some idiot wants to start a thread about how he only likes younger women - he's free to make an idiot out of himself. Who cares?

[2mares]

Originally Posted by Dewdrop93

Did I miss something? I thought this thread was about some numbskull who was airing his preferences about women and age. Where did the money, cars, jobs part come into play?

Who cares about any of this? We all have our preferences. I could care less what anyone else looks for in a mate. Who cares?

I agree. I find it odd tho, that some people are so limited as to what they find attractive. I could never narrow it down to an age range like 5-10 younger than myself. Ive feel that variety is the spice of life. Ive been attracted to men from many walks of life, different ages, shapes, etc. It seems sad that some people have such a narrow vision.

[ans57]

Originally Posted by Dewdrop93

Did I miss something? I thought this thread was about some numbskull who was airing his preferences about women and age. Where did the money, cars, jobs part come into play?

Who cares about any of this? We all have our preferences. I could care less what anyone else looks for in a mate. I know that I looked for a great sense of humor, intelligence, and basically just someone who "got" me. I found him. He loves me for me, I love him for him. If some idiot wants to start a thread about how he only likes younger women - he's free to make an idiot out of himself. Who cares?

While I agree that we all have our preferences and couldn't careless what anyone else prefer, the heart of the matter is that (If truth be told...) this thread attracted many posters because it presents an opportunity for "self-promotion" to most of us.

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by QuickStudy178

Well, actually my track record is not all that bad. Over the course of 32 years of dating and 34 relationships, I hooked up with one psychopath. Unfortunately, as misfortune would have it, the one psychopath was my wife.

Just to be clear, it makes no difference. I'm just conversing with you. Either way, your marrying and having a child with the one psychopath is something that should give you pause imo. And you admit that she only wanted you for financing and yet you express interest in going for women based on you financing them. That doesn't make sense to me, but given those two facts, I see a trend. Or at least the makings of a trend.

I did not spend millions on the failed relationship. I spent millions strictly in pursuing sole custody of my daughter, and prevailed. I accomplished what less than 1% of guys can accomplish in the Courts, and I did it while up against one of the most tenacious and conniving individuals you would ever meet. So how is this an "abysmal" track record?

If you made better relationship choices you wouldn't have had to spend millions. You know that's the point. I fail to see the value in self-denial.

I have changed. I used to think that having a forever marriage was a worthwhile goal, and now I don't. I have no intention of deceiving myself into thinking any woman's genuine love can be bought, because it can't. However, what can be bought is pleasant companionship, which is fine for me personally. Of course, this won't be fine for those who want to have a forever marriage. And to them, I wish all the luck in the world, because they are going to need it.

Your perspective on marriage is still wanting, imo. Marriage is not an entity that exists in a vacuum for all people to share. No two marriages are alike. They vary as people vary. As far as buying pleasant companionship goes, you will cross that bridge when you come to it. My common sense tells me that buying love, affection, companionship, or people is riddled with unknowns; probably negative unknowns. It's two people using each other. Seeding that into a dynamic between two people is going to have its consequences. If I weren't so darn tired I'd research it.

This is not an accurate assessment of my position. I never said or implied that "99% of the population are psychopaths or dysfunctional". I do believe that 99% of the population is either single or involved in some form of an unhappy marriage, and that only 1% of the population is involved in a truly happy marriage. I am happy for you if you see one couple after another happily married and enjoying marital bliss. That's GREAT!

Well, the stats I posted don't agree with you. What can I say. Of all my friendships I have 1 friend that had a horrific marriage that ended in divorce. I have 1 friend in an ideal marriage. That is the result of many things I won't get into right now. I have another friend in a trying marriage, but they are family oriented. It's been difficult, tho. Her husband was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, so they've had hardships.

As far as marital bliss goes, I don't subscribe to that either. I did not enter my marriage with expectations of bliss that he would provide. Rather, as partners collaborating in an art project. Obviously, that's unique to us just as all marriages are unique.

I don't really buy into this old adage. Personally, I tend to feel more miserable around miserable people, and they are certainly not the type of people I would gravitate towards.

Maybe. I wonder how many of us are really that aware; aware of what we're giving off, taking in. We filter everything through the lens of our minds eye. It's difficult to gauge, which is why empirical evidence is usually a safe bet. As mentioned above you have one failed marriage to a psychopath that wanted you as a wallet. You desire to further this by financing future interpersonal endeavors (evidenced by your posts). Those are tangible things to chew on. If you ask yourself why, who knows, maybe you aren't labeling misery correctly, or maybe you aren't even aware of it.

Of course. But let's face it, being married to someone and having to have day-to-day interaction with this other person can really add to whatever other unhappiness a person may have if that match is not just right. In other words, strife and discord on the home front can greatly exacerbate whatever other unhappiness that person may be feeling due to job stress, health issues, etc. Are you going to disagree with this?

I don't disagree. But, given that it's a multivariate for the partner as well, it's not so clean cut. (This is not to address mental illness, tho. That's another bird.) Given that happiness indicators are multifactorial, which is in turn stratified in a couple, it's unlikely that one variable is the culprit.

In my experience, psychologists and social workers are notorious for producing unscientific "studies". Ask these psychologists or social workers to produce verification of the statistical sampling group and their scientific methodology that supports their findings, and they look like a deer caught in the headlights. How do I know? Because I had one psychologist and social worker after another on the witness stand (11 of them), that's how.

Following up the charge with an anecdote is nonsensical. If you think the methodology of the pew research center is flawed you can certainly argue it. You have the option to review the research. There's always a methods section. I can say this, as one of my undergrad degrees is in psych and I did a bit of research, large sample sets such as these utilize questionnaires. There's a question and typically 4-5 answers for scale (Great, good, ok, not so good, bad). A statistic is applied and some square gives results. To be clear, I'm not a big fan of the social sciences, but it's better than random anecdotal opinions. That really can't be argued.

That makes all the sense in the world?

Given that a person's happiness level varies throughout the day, and from day-to-day and month-to-month, a moving target if you will, this assessment can not be anything more than a general wishful-thinking type of notion.

I suspect you are imposing your personal experience here. Happiness, a state of contentment as I understand the term, does not fluctuate day-to-day/month to month with great significance. Sure, if you are a depressed person or have emotional issues, there are clear highs and lows. But folk are generally glass half full people and glass half empty people. The ebb and flow of the former group probably doesn't compare to that of the latter. If a person is healthy; they eat well, they exercise, accomplish set daily tasks, tend to their minds, etc, there is a steady state. When challenges arise they're not overwhelming to the point of depressiveness.

I have attended plenty of weddings where the bride was not exactly having the happiest day of her life. She was stressing over details and worrying whether certain family members were going to get along, etc., etc. often to the point of becoming rather snappish.

I don't doubt that. I just attended a wedding in September. One of my closest guy friends. It was a reunion rave for the lot of us approaching middle age! Easy. I went to a wedding in July (my bil and sil). The couple got married in Montana at a vacation home on a mountain. The whole thing went pretty chill. Same for the one in 2010 (another bil and sil). It was so easy. My husband's family is as easy as they come. Really, people are like this. My wedding was more stressful, but I'm Italian and from Jersey. Still, it turned into a mini rave!

[Jellybean50]

JerZ - tryin to rep your last two posts, but i cant.

They are spot on!

There is another thread on it right now. It just happens to be nice that older women now also have the 'benefit' that older men only used to have - the ability to date people of all ages, and to be found attractive by them.

It's a good time to be a woman, if you can accept and love yourself, and be open-minded about your opportunties.