Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So I guess you do believe people should stick their “leagues” in the looks department..that’s pretty shallow in itself.. You’re basically putting better looking people on a pedestal and saying they’re superior that’s why these struggling guys can’t go for them and should go for less attractive women.. you’re boiling people down to nothing but looks..
I don’t agree .. Go for who you’re attracted to.. just because someone goes for someone you deem the same level of attractiveness doesn’t mean the women’s gonna be attracted to him..
I’ve been rejected harshly at times by women not all that and have had gorgeous women into me so attraction doesn’t work simply by looks matching..
Greg, you're right, the looks matching thing is silly.
The reason women take the positions we do in these arguments sometimes, is that we feel like certain men expect women to be "perfect"...good looking, nurturing and kind, not "psycho," not a gold-digger, not too much "baggage," good and faithful but actively sexual and fun once in a committed relationship...the whole package. But then when the question is asked, "OK well, what do you feel you, the guy, should be bringing to the table?" it's like "nice" should be enough. If we dare ask for HIM to be attractive in any way, we're lambasted for that. Whatever standards we've got, we're too picky, because no woman has accepted him (the struggling man) as of yet. Must be those picky women and their picky standards!
But the fact that women generally don't have as hard a time finding a willing mate who meets whatever standards we've got, at least...many of us...would indicate to me that OUR standards are maybe more realistic?
Or at least the matter of "have realistic standards or be happy by yourself" is something that women can wrap their heads around a bit better? If only because we seem to hear a lot of very loud, very upset men complaining a lot about their lack of female companionship. You would think if it were the women being unrealistic, more women would be complaining. ?
I dunno. I think that places like CD magnify problems way out of proportion to reality. At least given the human beings I interact with in the real world.
But as for men being looks motivated or not. Yeah, sorry... I know this is anecdotal, but...
When I was 14, I worked in an ice cream shop owned by my family that was in a Marine base town (Quantico Town in VA.) I was propositioned for sex by an endless parade of young Marines. Endless. And the most common thing, was for me to tell them, "I'm 14, dude" and have the guy pause a moment, think about it, and then say something like, "Well your parents ain't gotta know..." Like you could see the wheels turning in his head because while some part of his brain knew that hitting on a kid was wrong, "she hot though..."
Adult women do occasionally go for younger guys...occasionally...especially like, teachers, who see that same young dude day after day and build some kind of a rapport... But you do not generally see grown women in the wild making actual attempts to hook up with good looking teenage boys who are bagging their groceries. Saying, "Well your parents don't need to know." or anything like that.
I got more sexual attention from random men I didn't know, age 12-18 than I ever did as an adult. The ONLY thing I can think of, that I had going for me back then, was looks. It was actually ILLEGAL for those men to get with me, but plenty were willing to chance it, for that reason alone (I guess?)
So I'd say that women have the impression that men are somewhat looks driven, even to the point of stupidity, if for no other reason than the fact that many of us have had experiences like this.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,584,857 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I define "leagues" very differently than you, but the guys who come here to complain make it all about looks, and they were the topic of my original comment you objected to, so....whatever. In different words, my point was, that if they'd cast a wider net, they might have better luck.
IMO there are a couple of people that put WAY too much weight on what men...or women...complain about in threads. If they use a forum like C D to complain about the opposite sex or their relationships......numerous problems all with the same theme........they got some stuff going on themselves & can't be taken all that seriously in the 1st place IMO.
e d i t: their wider net should start by taking dating stuff out of C D IMO...because it's really not a singles site.....or a good example of what's going on........
Last edited by TashaPosh; 02-03-2020 at 12:56 PM..
And men feel like they have to be tall good looking make very good money be the life of the party be a leader and make the decisions never show weakness especially early on in the courting process...never fear rejection, always have to be confident.. be the one who as to do everything in the courting process making ourselves vulnerable while the women sits back..
Each group has double standards and it easier in some ways...
Both groups are wrong and I can’t take seriously if they lump the entire opposite sex in demanding perfection when it’s clearly not true by looking around you..
Very true!
When I hear arguments about looks matching, I often wonder if the person speaking has ever shopped at Walmart.
And men feel like they have to be tall good looking make very good money be the life of the party be a leader and make the decisions never show weakness especially early on in the courting process...never fear rejection, always have to be confident.. be the one who as to do everything in the courting process making ourselves vulnerable while the women sits back..
Well, yeah, I think you nailed that. When I think "what am I missing", its always been one or a combination of those things you mention. I will never be the life of the party and I do still fear rejection, so I won't get nearly the dates that men with those qualities will. I'd rather be remarried, but am not (yet).
Ita....... most men are like my fiance. He doesn't want babies..........& even if they do want babies someday....they aren't looking for the 1st woman they meet to have one. IMO other women are more likely to do that....who doesn't have a friend that talks about her bio clock?
Men put lots of importance on other stuff first........because they don't want to feel tied to anybody or lose their freedom unless they think we are worth it........A N D that's how we should feel too..........
Sorry, there is no way I am going to read the entire thread, but read the first page. My opinion is two fold. One, many people now are narcissists and that goes for men and women. Second, a lot of women are looking for a guy to take care of them, despite all this equality pc stuff. The current culture we live in it makes it very difficult to approach a woman and get her number with internet. They would rather check your facebook page, etc.
I'm a guy and I don't want to be a woman when it comes to dating. I wouldn't be able to handle all that attention if I was that type of woman that drew all the guys out.
Men may have disadvantages in dating, but so do women.
When I was divorced, I had these neighbors...a husband and wife. The wife had a brother who had seen me, and asked his sister to set us up.
I was a divorced woman to 2 young boys. Sometimes...a woman can get desperate, so I agreed. Even though the husband kind of warned me about this guy.
SOOOO we go out. He picks me up in this giant big ol truck. The kind with 2 gas tanks. (This is a significant detail.) We go to Bob Evans (a different one than the previous story.) We're talking and getting to know each other. I don't remember a whole lot of the conversation, except THIS: "All I need is a girlfriend who will cook for me and have sex with me. That's all I need." I kind of laughed, and he says "What? I'm serious."
This wasn't me because I would've included "cleaning house" also.
I'm a guy and I don't want to be a woman when it comes to dating. I wouldn't be able to handle all that attention if I was that type of woman that drew all the guys out.
Men may have disadvantages in dating, but so do women.
Why assume you'd be the type that got a lot of attention?
Why assume you'd be the type that got a lot of attention?
There is an “if” in his post.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
In different words, my point was, that if they'd cast a wider net, they might have better luck.
most men are like my fiance. He doesn't want babies..........& even if they do want babies someday....they aren't looking for the 1st woman they meet to have one. IMO other women are more likely to do that....who doesn't have a friend that talks about her bio clock? 
