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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
I swear timberline, I think you purposely jump on my posts just for the sake of being contrarian. You have a littl e thing for me or something? lol
If your posts weren't bad take after bad take, I wouldn't need to. Virtually every day you blame women for something. For how they are treated in society, for how they date incorrectly (these posts are ubiquitous), etc.
I wouldn't reply at all to you/your posts if they weren't so incredibly off and insulting.
In this case, you're blaming women for having some realistic and smart walls up because of years of harassment by men in society and very very understandably having their guard up a little when a stranger macks on them.
Instead of blaming where blame is due: on the guys in our society that create these walls, by being creeps, by not reading body language about when someone isn't interested, or wants to be alone. By those that violate consent and violate personal space without invitation. And realizing that as a guy, even if I haven't done those things, I am part of that system and need to be self aware enough to understand that and to know a woman that is a stranger can't know that and will likely, wisely, default to a defensive posture because of it.
If that's being "contrarian", then yeah, I'm contrary to bad takes and blame shifting.
Not they don't. Men make it difficult for other men.
You are right. We arent mind readers. We dont know who is respectful and who is a "You secretly like it!" type.
We can make educated guesses but sometimes we will be wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
If your posts weren't bad take after bad take, I wouldn't need to. Virtually every day you blame women for something. For how they are treated in society, for how they date incorrectly (these posts are ubiquitous), etc.
I wouldn't reply at all to you/your posts if they weren't so incredibly off and insulting.
In this case, you're blaming women for having some realistic and smart walls up because of years of harassment by men in society and very very understandably having their guard up a little when a stranger macks on them.
Instead of blaming where blame is due: on the guys in our society that create these walls, by being creeps, by not reading body language about when someone isn't interested, or wants to be alone. By those that violate consent and violate personal space without invitation. And realizing that as a guy, even if I haven't done those things, I am part of that system and need to be self aware enough to understand that and to know a woman that is a stranger can't know that and will likely, wisely, default to a defensive posture because of it.
If that's being "contrarian", then yeah, I'm contrary to bad takes and blame shifting.
If your posts weren't bad take after bad take, I wouldn't need to. Virtually every day you blame women for something. For how they are treated in society, for how they date incorrectly (these posts are ubiquitous), etc.
I wouldn't reply at all to you/your posts if they weren't so incredibly off and insulting.
In this case, you're blaming women for having some realistic and smart walls up because of years of harassment by men in society and very very understandably having their guard up a little when a stranger macks on them.
Instead of blaming where blame is due: on the guys in our society that create these walls, by being creeps, by not reading body language about when someone isn't interested, or wants to be alone. By those that violate consent and violate personal space without invitation. And realizing that as a guy, even if I haven't done those things, I am part of that system and need to be self aware enough to understand that and to know a woman that is a stranger can't know that and will likely, wisely, default to a defensive posture because of it.
If that's being "contrarian", then yeah, I'm contrary to bad takes and blame shifting.
Okay, you could say that other men had made it bad for a good, decent man to approach her, so she paints a broad brush on any guy that approaches her.
There's also women that simply want to be left alone, they are like "Crap, not again, I cannot even go to a bookstore in piece" or something like that. Some women just have their walls up, and it's not even due to a history of men coming up to them.
I tried searching for a video on this guy giving a seminar to women on men approaching women. So it's a balance between approaching by the numbers, just approaching in hopes one shows interest, and then men who don't bother approaching at all. But there's that smidgen in the middle that struggle on WHEN to approach. The proper timing of it..and so on.
This is why you see thousands of videos online on "How to approach a woman", Corey Wayne comes to mind, Doctor Nerd Love (corny name yeah, but he makes sense), etc. They seem to be relatively balanced in their ideas....so they aren't really pick-up artists.
There are some that DO address the whole how women having been burned by jerks approaching them, but some don't address that facet that you mention at all.
They aren't like "Oh, by the way, when you approach a woman, you may want to be mindful if that they could've had real creeps approaching them". I've read a topic on "Approach anxiety" on some thread somewhere, if there is even such a thing that there's also an anxiety of a decent guy wondering if his approach may or may not be creeping her out (or not).
But you also have to put into the character or fortitude of the woman.
I do have a female friend that gets along with men really well, so she isn't creeped out or on the defensive hardly at all...as she's the type that talks to anyone. Me and her can talk about this subject and she sympathizes with men's situations in modern day dating.
She sometimes doesn't get women either in the same way that I do. In fact, she claims feminism as ruined dating. That may be contrary to what you think , but you have to think that feminism plays a role...and this is something being touted by a fellow sister. But it's a never ending threads being pulled to other sub-topics that you could go on forever about.
So if a sister blames women...well, what does that say about her? A woman that blames women? Has hell frozen over?
Okay, you could say that other men had made it bad for a good, decent man to approach her, so she paints a broad brush on any guy that approaches her.
There's also women that simply want to be left alone, they are like "Crap, not again, I cannot even go to a bookstore in piece" or something like that. Some women just have their walls up, and it's not even due to a history of men coming up to them.
I tried searching for a video on this guy giving a seminar to women on men approaching women. So it's a balance between approaching by the numbers, just approaching in hopes one shows interest, and then men who don't bother approaching at all. But there's that smidgen in the middle that struggle on WHEN to approach. The proper timing of it..and so on.
This is why you see thousands of videos online on "How to approach a woman", Corey Wayne comes to mind, Doctor Nerd Love (corny name yeah, but he makes sense), etc. They seem to be relatively balanced in their ideas....so they aren't really pick-up artists.
There are some that DO address the whole how women having been burned by jerks approaching them, but some don't address that facet that you mention at all.
They aren't like "Oh, by the way, when you approach a woman, you may want to be mindful if that they could've had real creeps approaching them". I've read a topic on "Approach anxiety" on some thread somewhere, if there is even such a thing that there's also an anxiety of a decent guy wondering if his approach may or may not be creeping her out (or not).
But you also have to put into the character or fortitude of the woman.
I do have a female friend that gets along with men really well, so she isn't creeped out or on the defensive hardly at all...as she's the type that talks to anyone. Me and her can talk about this subject and she sympathizes with men's situations in modern day dating.
She sometimes doesn't get women either in the same way that I do. In fact, she claims feminism as ruined dating. That may be contrary to what you think , but you have to think that feminism plays a role...and this is something being touted by a fellow sister. But it's a never ending threads being pulled to other sub-topics that you could go on forever about.
So if a sister blames women...well, what does that say about her? A woman that blames women? Has hell frozen over?
You sound like my ex friend who said I must be a lesbian feminist for not enjoying being macked on, like when Im just trying to do a quick walmart run and some guy thinks its cool to follow me around videoing my bootie and going "Ohhh baby!" while looking me up and down.
You sound like my ex friend who said I must be a lesbian feminist for not enjoying being macked on, like when Im just trying to do a quick walmart run and some guy thinks its cool to follow me around videoing my bootie and going "Ohhh baby!" while looking me up and down.
Who said anything about a guy following you around like a pervert with a video camera? I'm talking about a simple introduction. Like if they are waiting in line at a coffee shop and asking them what brews they like or something simple. Minus the innuendo of course.
I'm more of a "waiting in line" guy when I strike up conversations with people.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
Okay, you could say that other men had made it bad for a good, decent man to approach her, so she paints a broad brush on any guy that approaches her.
One would only say this if they want to blame women for making a decision that is in their personal interest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
There's also women that simply want to be left alone, they are like "Crap, not again, I cannot even go to a bookstore in piece" or something like that. Some women just have their walls up, and it's not even due to a history of men coming up to them.
And that is their right and a choice they have made for a reason. Of course, you have no idea why they are like that at all. You're not in their heads.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
I tried searching for a video on this guy giving a seminar to women on men approaching women.
Stop stop stop. Jesus H Christ with this youtube video crap on how to be human.
Get away from bleep like this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
So it's a balance between approaching by the numbers, just approaching in hopes one shows interest, and then men who don't bother approaching at all. But there's that smidgen in the middle that struggle on WHEN to approach. The proper timing of it..and so on.
No, it really isn't any of this. It's about having a freaking clue and being human.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
This is why you see thousands of videos online on "How to approach a woman", Corey Wayne comes to mind, Doctor Nerd Love (corny name yeah, but he makes sense), etc. They seem to be relatively balanced in their ideas....so they aren't really pick-up artists.
I don't see any of these. Never heard of them until this site. Because, why would I.
Who said anything about a guy following you around like a pervert with a video camera? I'm talking about a simple introduction. Like if they are waiting in line at a coffee shop and asking them what brews they like or something simple. Minus the innuendo of course.
I'm more of a "waiting in line" guy when I strike up conversations with people.
She could be not feeling well, or just not in a chatty mood. It doesnt have to be personal. Nobody owes anyone a conversation.
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