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The other problem is, and I think this is very true, is the inability to compromise. Think about all the people who got married under 25. Most had nothing to be judged on. They were either just finishing college, still in college, or didn't go to college. As you get older everyone else gets older too. Less people want to compromise when their life "appears" to be comfortable. They are looking for their equal, because they aren't ready to compromise to let someone fit in. They may also feel that by compromising, they could get hurt even more if the person doesn't turn out to be who they say they are. Giving someone a chance who you normally wouldn't.
People get hurt everyday, but someone who's established wants to get hurt far less. When you're doing life on your own, you tend to let less people into your life. Why? Because to an extent, people are messy.
That's an interesting take.
I find some people's preferences or requirements to be odd, but in a "it's really none of my business" sort of way. Some people appear to set criteria merely to efficiently to screen people, and those people are usually not absolute with their criteria. They let their standards work for them, rather than them working for their standards.
Others are absolute, black and white with their criteria and often have a bunch of it. I suspect that they believe, I think erroneously, that their robust criteria and their rigid adherence to it will weed out the "bad" choices and keep them safe. And if it doesn't keep them safe in a relationship, it may keep them single.
Well talking about college doesn't come up, but talking about things we learned in college, read in college, and professions and what we do at work that are the results of our going to college, come up very often in day to day life. That is quite normal.
I could tell some of the guys I dated who didn't have degrees were uncomfortable around my friends on a good day, threatened on a bad. I don't particularly care if this makes me sound elitist, but I don't have any patience for that. What, because a subject comes up that you haven't been exposed to that people who went to college did, you have to write it off as "snooty" or put it down as "useless" compared to your skill with a wrench? Please. Pick up a book, buy a plane ticket, and open your mind. It's not the degree as much as the things college students are exposed to, particularly those who go away to school, because they get to see a different way of doing things and learn to adapt to a different environment. If someone without a degree is threatened by a discussion of philosophy or something like that, all he needs to do is read. It's really that simple. And if he's not interested, then he should shut up if he doesn't have anything to contribute or questions to ask.
This comes up on the DC forums sometimes, where people really let it be known that they are threatened by anyone who managed to achieve something they haven't, be it a well-paying job or a degree. Someone actually complained about college decals on the back windows of cars.
This is kinda a rant but anyway.. So Im a 29 single white male average looks 5'7 brown hair and eyes. Im orginally from Boston and just moved to Dallas because Boston was just too expensive to live. I was in the military been to Iraq twice and saved all my money for a house. So I bought one just outside the Dallas area and have been trying the dating scene. At first it was tough cuz I dont know anyone here but lately Ive had some success. Now most of these women are college educated and the dates go fine. But once we get to the part when they ask where I went to school. I explain to them I dropped out and joined the military everything seems to fall apart and they tell me they want someone like-minded with the same goals. I dont get it. I own my own house, my own car (Acura TL) not cheap, and have no debt besides my house. Not to brag but I have a 401k another one with Edward Jones both about 20k and another 20k in the bank and somehow because I dont have a degree Im not gonna be successful. Im a police officer and make around 60k a year which is pretty good in dallas. Now at first I thought this was just one girl but it has happened to the last three girls I dated. They all want a guy with a degree which I think is overrated but thats just me, I chose a different route. A degree is a great accomplishment but I dont think you need one to be successful. I think Im in better shape than most of the people my age. Anyways whine over.. Think Im overreacting.
Instead of saying "I dropped out of school." maybe try saying something like "Instead of going to college I decided to serve in the military. They trained me in XYZ and now I am a police officer." That way there is more focus on what you've accomplished and emphasis on your current situation rather than the start of it, i.e. when you dropped out. And if you think you'd ever go to school in the future, you might indicate that to your date so she feels you have more acceptable prospects in her opinion.
But to be honest, if these women are turning down a normal, employed, well-mannered man because of education... they aren't women worth being around.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,033,395 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Bro
If you're a man and get turned down by a woman due to having no college degree, consider yourself very lucky. More than likely, she sized you up and quickly determined that, since you have no college degree, you won't be a good financial provider, won't help her live the lifestyle she wants, and won't sound "impressive" to her friends/family....in other words, you pretty much avoided a gold-digger (or semi-gold-digger) who cares more about money and status than about you and what other positive attributes you may have to offer.
Consider yourself lucky and don't think twice.
You should smuggle(r) some of that wisdom into more forums.
OP, your strategy in life is admirable. Despite that piece of paper, you are doing pretty well, actually better than someone who has a degree. Well, better than me, ha! I have a degree, an associates, co-founded a non-profit...I do have a car as well, but no house. I just rent. I can't afford a mortgage and you make more annually than I do. I'm a living proof that a piece of paper doesn't guarantee a "better" situation. It's just a different route.
It sounds unfortunate that you are being shut down for something you didn't take on, disregarding your other accomplishments in life. Well, as cliche as it sounds, it's their loss. I don't even know why women aren't all over you instead, because it's not that easy to come across a guy who has it going on like you do.
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