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Yup. And those are the ones that start these types of threads. I suspect they don't have much luck with dating of any sort. So really, where is the problem? Hmmmm...
The problem has always been and remains the attitude that a female partner is a device to get. What person who was looking for an actual mental and emotional fit broadcast emails hundreds of women? Do they think we cannot TELL that there is nothing in particular about US or our profile than the fact that we are female and don't weigh 300 pounds? And where is it writ that a basement dwelling video gamer is entitled to a fit, fun attractive woman? Do they think we can't tell that they are immensely boring and will only provide poor sex and an opportunity for us to feed them in the basement cave?
Well, my experience with free sites as a woman is that 98% of the men are only interested in sex. Most of the messages I receive from men are "love your curves" and "hey baby". Yawn! Even if I were only looking for casual sex, you need to show me you have a brain because macho idiots are very unattractive.
I can't speak for other women, but for me, if you really want me to pay attention, you need to say something of substance. Make a comment about something from my profile that got your attention (and not my looks).
Of course I say this when this strategy has garnered 0 dates for me...but maybe the tactic works for men messaging women. Who knows?
The problem has always been and remains the attitude that a female partner is a device to get. What person who was looking for an actual mental and emotional fit broadcast emails hundreds of women? Do they think we cannot TELL that there is nothing in particular about US or our profile than the fact that we are female and don't weigh 300 pounds? And where is it writ that a basement dwelling video gamer is entitled to a fit, fun attractive woman? Do they think we can't tell that they are immensely boring and will only provide poor sex and an opportunity for us to feed them in the basement cave?
It seems like most guys who use online dating will never get a date, even if they message 1000 different girls. If you are not very attractive and have a good paying job, most women wouldn't even bother with you. It seems like a waste of time and money for most guys since women can be extremely selective.
Dunno! Never have. Never will. Desperation perhaps? For that matter, why do women?
I tried OLD for about 4 years off and on with different types living in three different areas. Match, eHarmony, Christian Mingle, POF, OKCupid, etc. Many of these were paid memberships. I was about 31-35. In the prime of my life. Good job. Exercised a lot. Lived in a city area and then moved more rural.
In my experience, the entire experience yielded no relationship. Only a series of dates. The vast majority were one time dates.
Most people don't meet like this. They generally know each other for a while, maybe introduced through friends, etc.
There is also a stigma against it. I think me using the site actually worked against me as women sometimes would have this preconception of me as they met me on it.
Either way I'm done with it and never looking back. Overall I do not recommend people doing it, unless they are 45+ years old. For everyone else, find a way to have a social life and get out more. Move to an area with more single women if needed.
Too many hours wasted on OLD, not to mention the money. I was not "desperate" but worked a lot which made it difficult to get out much. Now I'm making that more of a priority and it's paying off.
I tried OLD for about 4 years off and on with different types living in three different areas. Match, eHarmony, Christian Mingle, POF, OKCupid, etc. Many of these were paid memberships. I was about 31-35. In the prime of my life. Good job. Exercised a lot. Lived in a city area and then moved more rural.
In my experience, the entire experience yielded no relationship. Only a series of dates. The vast majority were one time dates.
Most people don't meet like this. They generally know each other for a while, maybe introduced through friends, etc.
There is also a stigma against it. I think me using the site actually worked against me as women sometimes would have this preconception of me as they met me on it.
Either way I'm done with it and never looking back. Overall I do not recommend people doing it, unless they are 45+ years old. For everyone else, find a way to have a social life and get out more. Move to an area with more single women if needed.
Too many hours wasted on OLD, not to mention the money. I was not "desperate" but worked a lot which made it difficult to get out much. Now I'm making that more of a priority and it's paying off.
Just because it didn't work for you, doesn't mean it hasn't, or won't work for others. It's clearly worked for plenty of other people, and a lot have met people through it.
And regarding the stigma, don't you think it would work the other way around as well? If what you said is true, then most women wouldn't use it or go on dates with people from it.
Personally, OLD has worked out way better for me than IRL.
The problem has always been and remains the attitude that a female partner is a device to get. What person who was looking for an actual mental and emotional fit broadcast emails hundreds of women? Do they think we cannot TELL that there is nothing in particular about US or our profile than the fact that we are female and don't weigh 300 pounds? And where is it writ that a basement dwelling video gamer is entitled to a fit, fun attractive woman? Do they think we can't tell that they are immensely boring and will only provide poor sex and an opportunity for us to feed them in the basement cave?
Ask me how I know.
This is absolutely true for men who struggle socially. This truth is hard to see at times, though, because men who appear to be the most "successful" in dating and mating see women precisely as "a device to get". So it's complicated.
This is absolutely true for men who struggle socially. This truth is hard to see at times, though, because men who appear to be the most "successful" in dating and mating see women precisely as "a device to get". So it's complicated.
I am probably way older than most of the folks on this board. I have dated many men. Depending on what you mean by "successful", I have not known one man among my BF's (certainly not my husband), brothers, brothers-in-law, friends and colleagues who treated women as anything other than people that managed to have successful relationships.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12
This is absolutely true for men who struggle socially. This truth is hard to see at times, though, because men who appear to be the most "successful" in dating and mating see women precisely as "a device to get". So it's complicated.
Yeah, that's not what I see. Quite the opposite. The ones that seem most successful treat women like regular people, closer to friends than assets.
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I suspect they don't have much luck with dating of any sort. So really, where is the problem? Hmmmm... 
