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One of things people who face rejection often have to confront is that they do not have a very good sense of how their behavior affects other people. This makes it possible to always blame "others".
I reside in Arlington and work in DC, but I travel quite frequently for work related purposes.
Well DC has a ton of black professionals, I don't where you travel to maybe to white cities where the people think a black women cannot hold a professional position.
It sounds like people are staring at you because of the way you carry yourself. Are you shy or timid? Or they may just be looking at you because you are attractive.
If not, then it has to do with race. I bet a white woman would not have received the treatment that you did.
And when people perceive a person negatively there is always a reason, most likely it has to do with race or stereotype they both fall hand in hand.
"I hate white people because they are all racist"
"I hate black people because they are so loud"
"I hate asian people because they all look the same"...etc
All of these excuses have to do with race and are grouping millions of people together in a stereotype. When people look at you they notice your race among other things, I still think it has to do with the op being a black woman.
Last edited by sunshineleith; 10-24-2011 at 04:17 PM..
Reason: orphaned material removed.
FWIW, I deeply admire your values, and have nothing but respect for you
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa2013
I'm a young college educated (black American) professional woman.
I'm very observant, and I've noticed (for some odd reason), people tend to usually react in a negative fashion towards me. Perhaps it's because I make them uncomfortable. For the record, there is nothing inherently intimidating about my presence. I'm actually quite petite. I take a great deal of pride in my appearance, as well as my professional work.
I've been told that I look 10 to 13 years younger than my actual age. Most people would probably mistake me for an 18 year old (in appearance alone). Much of this is due to the fact that I have never drank any form of alcohol or used any illicit drugs. I absolutely abhor bars, clubs, and lounges. Also, I must admit that genetics plays a role as well. I have dark skin; therefore, I'm less prone to age. I've noticed that other women in their late 20's/ early 30's (particularly white women) often look closer to 40 something. I'm wondering if this plays any role in why I'm perceived so negatively?
When I show up at meetings in my professional suits and heels, people seem to always take a double look. It's almost as if they are uncomfortable with confronting the realization that black American women are not a monolithic group. I strongly dislike rap/hip hop because it promotes the most destructive images of black women around the world. Unfortunately, people who have never even encountered a black woman, will often believe that we are all about partying and sex. I take a great deal of pride in my overall appearance and I go out of my way to dispel the negative stereotypes that are often associated with black women. I tend to be very conservative (in the truest sense). I would never engage in any form of pre-marital sex!
I do however realize that we are all individuals; therefore, I never judge others. I'm simply wondering why people tend to judge me so harshly. It's very odd, but sometimes I get the feeling that people are uncomfortable because I do not fit the 'sassy/finger snapping/ghetto' stereotype.
It's very sad that conservative black women, such as myself are ostracized for having values and morals.
I'm a young college educated (black American) professional woman.
I'm very observant, and I've noticed (for some odd reason), people tend to usually react in a negative fashion towards me. Perhaps it's because I make them uncomfortable. For the record, there is nothing inherently intimidating about my presence. I'm actually quite petite. I take a great deal of pride in my appearance, as well as my professional work.
I've been told that I look 10 to 13 years younger than my actual age. Most people would probably mistake me for an 18 year old (in appearance alone). Much of this is due to the fact that I have never drank any form of alcohol or used any illicit drugs. I absolutely abhor bars, clubs, and lounges. Also, I must admit that genetics plays a role as well. I have dark skin; therefore, I'm less prone to age. I've noticed that other women in their late 20's/ early 30's (particularly white women) often look closer to 40 something. I'm wondering if this plays any role in why I'm perceived so negatively?
When I show up at meetings in my professional suits and heels, people seem to always take a double look. It's almost as if they are uncomfortable with confronting the realization that black American women are not a monolithic group. I strongly dislike rap/hip hop because it promotes the most destructive images of black women around the world. Unfortunately, people who have never even encountered a black woman, will often believe that we are all about partying and sex. I take a great deal of pride in my overall appearance and I go out of my way to dispel the negative stereotypes that are often associated with black women. I tend to be very conservative (in the truest sense). I would never engage in any form of pre-marital sex!
I do however realize that we are all individuals; therefore, I never judge others. I'm simply wondering why people tend to judge me so harshly. It's very odd, but sometimes I get the feeling that people are uncomfortable because I do not fit the 'sassy/finger snapping/ghetto' stereotype.
It's very sad that conservative black women, such as myself are ostracized for having values and morals.
It seems to me like you have a chip on your shoulder. You may not fit the description of the "stereotypical" black woman but that doesn't mean you have to count off every way in which you are not like "them."
Come on... I think people respond negatively towards you because no one likes people who seem like they always have to PROVE something.
Just be you and shut up about all the rest.
I get the image of a very stern pensive wiry lady, they make me nervous be them black white or chinese. They always look on edge.
I do not have an inferiority complex. I am simply asking why people dislike black conservative women.
What people? Perhaps you should hang out with a different crowd. To say people dislike you for being black & conservative sounds like your reaching for something. Maybe you have something against people who are not black & conservative?
Threads like this are always sooooooo good until the OP fails to continue with the conversation.
I agree.
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