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"There's nothing tragic about being fifty. Unless you're trying to be twenty-five."
I agree!
I believe this is truer than most people would be willing to admit. Looking back, there was nothing more dreadful than hitting my 31st birthday. I figured, once my age jumps out of the calender, life was over! Don't know how I gave birth to that ludicrous thought. I kept telling people I was 29 and holding whenever someone asked how old I was, until I came to my senses.
the market is unbelievably cruel.
trouble is that most of the gals on eharmony feel that having 15 years on the guy and 30 lbs overweight no makeup or clothes or hair work should work fine, i mean it worked for their ex, why not for mr new?
gloria steinem has done a horrible thing to women. she told them they they had learned a new level of expectations about marriage and divorce. that that would lead to a happy and fulfilling life.
the only other leader and teacher/guru i know as evil as this from the 1960's is timothy leary.
false prophets of the 60's.
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 11-10-2011 at 03:13 PM..
You and I have 'sorta' had this conversation before, in the Retirement forum. I don't WANT a "Mr. Right". I was speaking of the "frustration, etc." of being single and wanting a partner. Not wanting one doesn't lead to that.
I haven't read every post, but I will add something I don't think others have mentioned. When women are young and pretty, men generally have to put the extra energy into the matching game to make a connection. However, that changes in later years. The power shifts to the men. There are few live ones around so the man/woman ratio goes in the mens favor. Not only that, but men's hormones have declined, so they aren't quite as energetic to mate. Plus, some men have gotten burned by greedy selfish women and they don't want to get married again and lose half their assests. Plus, because women become the majority of singles, some women will quickly "give it up", and so many of the men are just looking to "hook up". I do feel sorry for you. Having traditional values in this culture means you're pretty much swimming against the stream.
Eg. 10 years ago, I knew a guy who was about 60 who had a girl friend that was only 40, and she was crazy about him. And he was short and balding, but actually a very nice guy. He told me that he had dated women who he slept with on the first date, and when he got up in the morning, the woman threw the keys on the counter, and suggested he moved in. I'm affraid the reality is you have a lot of competition for the quality men that are still around.
You may have to up your game. Lose some weight, get a new hairdo, and you might have to adjust your standards, and your expectations of what you're going to find.
All true, except the game changes again when men reach about 70. At seventy most men are pretty "spent"--physically, financially, and socially. If they aren't married and no one cares for them they have virtually zero chance of finding someone to love and care for them.
At that age many women are still healthy and many have active friendships and vital social connections that can carry them through good times and bad, including illness and disease.
Those old dudes who are looking for young women should understand they too have an expiry date. Unless they are as wealthy as J. Howard Marshall (Anna Nicole Smith's ex) that expiry date is a hard one with virtually no exceptions. Further since most men don't create the same type of friendship bonds as women do with other women, these men often face a very lonely and cold old age.
All true, except the game changes again when men reach about 70. At seventy most men are pretty "spent"--physically, financially, and socially. If they aren't married and no one cares for them they have virtually zero chance of finding someone to take care of them.
At that age many women are still healthy and many have active friendships and vital social connections that can carry them through good times and bad, including illness and disease.
Those old dudes who are looking for young women should understand they too have an expiry date. Unless they are as wealthy as J. Howard Marshall (Anna Nicole Smith's ex) that expiry date is a hard one with virtually no exceptions. Further since most men don't create the same type of friendship bonds as women do with other women, these men often face a very lonely and cold old age.
Absolutely! The 70 years old plus old men still looking for younger women are just old fools. I know a few.
Well, I am 50, and fairly relaxed about being single. I have dated a lot since my divorce 6 years ago. I have done the online dating and have met probably 2 dozen men from age 35-55 using that method.
(I want to add that I don't consider myself attractive at all, but I have a good sense of humour, a smarty-pants job and and a pretty bohemian, unconventional outlook, which I find attracts men my age as much as looks)
Some of the guys I met online were cool, some were pretty awful, and most were nothing to get excited about. A couple of them have become good friends, but there hasn't been anyone I really wanted to get into a LTR with.
I think some of that may be that deep down I am not really ready to trade my independence to become half of a committed unit, and my "inner saboteur" gets in the way and ****s things up when a guy starts to get serious.
I have found the men I enjoy being with the most are those I have known for a very long time--old friends from college and pre-married life who have known me forever, but who, like, me, just do not have the inclination to partner up for life. We have fun together and have deep bonds that go beyond "dating."
Yes, I get lonely sometimes and think about what it would be like to have a lifelong companion. And maybe someone special will come along and blow my mind tomorrow. I doubt it though.
When I put myself in the picture of my future, all I see is myself cruising into old age solo, doing my thing. It doesn't scare me anymore. I kind of like the idea.
Many men age faster than women, and look it as a result. Look at your average 50 year old guy and then compare to women at that same age. Women (generally-speaking, but not universally) take some pains to stay attractive, color their hair, etc.
Or as one gal put it succinctly: who wants to be a nurse with a purse and date old men?
this thread abounds in popular pseudo science explanations why women should date young men.
rubbish. we all wana date young people bek youth is attractive, its a genderless game.
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 11-10-2011 at 08:22 PM..
nebulous1
This is not an attack on you. But a statement others have made to my face. "You talk too much."
Reading your post must be like listening to you talk. Men don't like talkers. So smile, nod, look pleasant.......
Yeah, I'm single because I will speak my mind, don't fit in at church, and I can't be fake.
But there is hope for you. It's like being lost in the woods. Stop rushing around aimlessly.
So, just be yourself and stop searching. If you stand still long enough, someone will find you.
nebulous1
This is not an attack on you. But a statement others have made to my face. "You talk too much."
Reading your post must be like listening to you talk. Men don't like talkers. So smile, nod, look pleasant.......
Yeah, I'm single because I will speak my mind, don't fit in at church, and I can't be fake.
But there is hope for you. It's like being lost in the woods. Stop rushing around aimlessly.
So, just be yourself and stop searching. If you stand still long enough, someone will find you.
What the heck?
Someone sent me a scathing letter via the Reputation Posts. I thought that was pretty cowardly, since they didn't even post their name.
Your "you are rushing around aimlessly" is based on nothing, since you don't know my life.
Stand still? Long enough?
Who are you to tell me I talk too much? You don't know me. And prefacing it with "this is not an attack"...I thought it was really odd.
This whole thread was to compare experiences, not put me up on the chopping block.
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Don't know how I gave birth to that ludicrous thought.
I kept telling people I was 29 and holding whenever someone asked how old I was, until I came to my senses.
