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More responsibility increases maturity in most people.
Willingness to make legal, binding commitments is a sign of maturity. Living up to those commitments increases maturity.
Being responsible for the very survival of other humans, like children, forces more maturity because it provides for much broader perspectives on the human experience and responsibility, beyond the imaginings of those who've never had the experience.
That's why people in long-term marriages understand that it "isn't just a piece of paper" like unmarried couples claim.
That's why childless people think they have all the answers about other people's children and parents of very young children think they have all the answers regarding their own, while parents of grown children understand that the young parents, at least (because, unlike childless couples, they've taken on that responsibility) will be eating so many of their own words someday. Their children will see to it. (<;
That's why people who never experience what it is like to be responsible for protecting and growing another human or humans from birth to adulthood in one piece will never be able to comprehend what it really is like, what it really means, or all the joy, stress, and sacrifice it entails. Many won't even comprehend that other people's children are valuable to their own futures.
Right. I mean the standard is that go to college after high school, get a job, get married and have kids. Why should everyone do this to be accepted?
Accepted by whom? Not marrying and/or not having children isn't unusual anymore. Sure, most people eventually decide they want to marry and/or have at least one child, because that is just biology at work, but it isn't a social requirement anymore.
What if you are running a big company? A company like Facebook? Take a a look at Mark Zuckerburg.
Cancer, death, etc are events that happen in life and it is very common. Those are experiences.
There are people who do not care about their lives and live for today.
Mark Zuckerburg started a big company, but he isn't considered a model of maturity, not by a long stretch.
The reason people talk about events like having children, or facing your own or a loved one's impending death, is because life-altering events that turn everything you've known on its head are what move normal, mentally healthy people into profound new stages of their emotional development. They force people to face issues like mortality and self-reflection, and those that are not mentally-ill in some way generally are matured a little more after having gone through the experience. Until such life-altering experiences happen to us, those over which we have less control than we want or believed we would have, we remain largely narcissistic because it isn't necessary for us to center our focus and energies on anything else but our own needs and path.
That's normal, though, because most humans enjoy a little delusional bubble of denial about our own vulnerability in this universe; that's what keeps us emotionally stable and moving along instead of frightened and quivering in the shadows, afraid to face life each day.
It isn't until something bigger than us, something we have only so much or no control over, or something that requires our center of focus transferred to someone other than our self, like being responsible for children and then thinking of their children before they even exist, that we move to the next stage of human development, which is increased maturity.
No it makes you broke and a slave. Even if you get lucky and marry a great women, its still her letting you do stuff and not the other way around. Just becasue she is nice about it does not mean she is not still in control. The legal system decides who is in control.
More responsibility increases maturity in most people.
Willingness to make legal, binding commitments is a sign of maturity. Living up to those commitments increases maturity.
Being responsible for the very survival of other humans, like children, forces more maturity because it provides for much broader perspectives on the human experience and responsibility, beyond the imaginings of those who've never had the experience.
Why do others insinuate childless know nothing about kids or lack responsibility? It's insulting tot hose who are childless by chance or medical reasons or single by chance. Parent act like what they do stays a secret behind closed doors. Parents seem to know everything about everyone else's lives. IMO when someone chooses not to follow what society distributes as s life script, it it shows more maturity than to cave in and end up divorced with 4 kids because society thinks it is right for everyone. marriage and kids is proof of nothing. just look at Hollywood. Are 72 hour marriages really mature? Are parents who ride with kids in their laps or leave them in hot cars mature? Plenty of childless nurses, doctors, etc have taken care of others. I am childless myself and taken care of elderly which I think carries much more work. And it's ashamed how we treat the elderly and devalue them in society because of the obsession with youth. You do not need your own child or a marriage to be mature or less selfish. That is just crazy given the headlines.
Why do people think that getting married and/or having kids makes you mature or more mature?
I don't agree with this.
You could be Single with no kids and be very responsible, educated and have lot of experience in life OR you could be married with kids and be broke, not caring, lazy, etc. I could go on and on.
Discuss
You have a very good point, Im thinking a lot of times people be under a lot of pressure to rush things to please others.
Why do others insinuate childless know nothing about kids or lack responsibility? It's insulting tot hose who are childless by chance or medical reasons or single by chance. Parent act like what they do stays a secret behind closed doors. Parents seem to know everything about everyone else's lives. IMO when someone chooses not to follow what society distributes as s life script, it it shows more maturity than to cave in and end up divorced with 4 kids because society thinks it is right for everyone. marriage and kids is proof of nothing. just look at Hollywood. Are 72 hour marriages really mature? Are parents who ride with kids in their laps or leave them in hot cars mature? Plenty of childless nurses, doctors, etc have taken care of others. I am childless myself and taken care of elderly which I think carries much more work. And it's ashamed how we treat the elderly and devalue them in society because of the obsession with youth. You do not need your own child or a marriage to be mature or less selfish. That is just crazy given the headlines.
In your defensiveness, you are comparing apples to oranges, making big leaps of logic, and assuming inferences that were not there.
Some of what you write is very true, but about different topics, actually.
Why do people think that getting married and/or having kids makes you mature or more mature?
I don't agree with this.
You could be Single with no kids and be very responsible, educated and have lot of experience in life OR you could be married with kids and be broke, not caring, lazy, etc. I could go on and on.
Discuss
It isn't so much that getting married and having kids makes a person mature. Lord knows, plenty of immature people get married and have kids.
But often, people who don't want marriage and don't want kids don't want any sort of meaningful relationships with other people, period. They often define "freedom" as a complete lack of connectedness to other human beings. That is their right, of course. But it is hard to see someone like that other than a bit stunted in their development.
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Accepted by whom?
Don't want another one to figure out.
