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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,758,476 times
Reputation: 41381
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy
It isn't so much that getting married and having kids makes a person mature. Lord knows, plenty of immature people get married and have kids.
But often, people who don't want marriage and don't want kids don't want any sort of meaningful relationships with other people, period. They often define "freedom" as a complete lack of connectedness to other human beings. That is their right, of course. But it is hard to see someone like that other than a bit stunted in their development.
Completely untrue. I'm anti-marriage and child-rearing but have a lot of meaningful relationships with people. Ever heard of friendships and/or mentorships?
Completely untrue. I'm anti-marriage and child-rearing but have a lot of meaningful relationships with people. Ever heard of friendships and/or mentorships?
So, in typical CD fashion, you point to a single exception to a broad observation (in this case, yourself) and claim that somehow invalidates the whole observation.
By your logic, the fact I avoid putting my hands on lit stoves is misguided. Surely, somewhere, there is a lit stove that isn't hot enough to burn my hand. So, my decision to avoid putting my hands on lit stoves is based on a crude overgeneralization.
Accepted by whom? Not marrying and/or not having children isn't unusual anymore. Sure, most people eventually decide they want to marry and/or have at least one child, because that is just biology at work, but it isn't a social requirement anymore.
You are asking a poster who is long gone in this 2.5 year old thread.
The answer to the topics question is neither since so many have no business becoming parents or getting married. It doesn't matter. One is either mature or they aren't. Sometimes it's just age that does it. More mature at age 30 than 20, usually anyway.
Adding: I can see how having a child can be a big wake up call for some. Those that take the responsibility seriously.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,758,476 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy
So, in typical CD fashion, you point to a single exception to a broad observation (in this case, yourself) and claim that somehow invalidates the whole observation.
By your logic, the fact I avoid putting my hands on lit stoves is misguided. Surely, somewhere, there is a lit stove that isn't hot enough to burn my hand. So, my decision to avoid putting my hands on lit stoves is based on a crude overgeneralization.
No, in typical CD fashion you make your ignorant statement claiming to know the heart of every person who decideds against marriage/kids and then when someone calls you out on it, you get butthurt and defensive on it.
Why do people think that getting married and/or having kids makes you mature or more mature?
I don't agree with this.
You could be Single with no kids and be very responsible, educated and have lot of experience in life OR you could be married with kids and be broke, not caring, lazy, etc. I could go on and on.
Discuss
This thread is 3 yrs old, but I'll chime in.
I don't have kids, not married but a really long LTR.
People grow and are shaped by their experiences, school, life, travel, reading, contemplating, being hurt. These are examples of what makes and shapes us.
Raising kids is tough work and challenging and the hardest job ever, according to what I've heard and read.
That being said it would be intellectually dishonest to not examine if being married and having kids would tend to make someone more mature, not saying it does definitively, but logic would have one lean toward these things instilling "maturity", again, I don't want to get people upset and get all bent out of shape about it.
I'm just saying that I think there is merit to that in general and assuming all things being equal. Does it make the childless one less of a person, no, does it mean across the board that people with children are better, again, no.
No, in typical CD fashion you make your ignorant statement claiming to know the heart of every person who decideds against marriage/kids and then when someone calls you out on it, you get butthurt and defensive on it.
Oh, for Christ's sake. Read what I wrote. I made it very clear I wasn't talking about every last person! Do you even know the difference between a general statement and a categorical one? Look it up. Educate yourself.
I swear, you can't say anything on CD with out some hyper-sensitive whiner getting his panties in a bunch.
I guess what they mean is that when you married and have kids, it is expected that you approach this status with a mature mindset. I use the word expected, because some people even when they married or have kids, they still fail to live up to this expectation. When you get married and have kids it takes a mature mind to be able to practice unconditional love. Seeing the faults and shortcomings of your loved ones, yet at the end of the day you still love them unconditionally.
Oh, for Christ's sake. Read what I wrote. I made it very clear I wasn't talking about every last person! Do you even know the difference between a general statement and a categorical one? Look it up. Educate yourself.
I swear, you can't say anything on CD with out some hyper-sensitive whiner getting his panties in a bunch.
This is the consequence of making offensive statements solely based on generalizations. If you don't want to be called out or criticized for it. Stop making generalizations. There are people who are childless that just don't fit the mold you are trying to paint them in.
To the OP:
In general, maturity is a choice. It's not something that comes automatically just because someone has a kid. It's a choice one can make at any stage in life. Lord knows I've seen parents that act more immature than their children.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,758,476 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy
Oh, for Christ's sake. Read what I wrote. I made it very clear I wasn't talking about every last person! Do you even know the difference between a general statement and a categorical one? Look it up. Educate yourself.
I swear, you can't say anything on CD with out some hyper-sensitive whiner getting his panties in a bunch.
With that statement you have no room to call others whiners.
Marriage didn't change me (at least not in the positive way) but having a child did.
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