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No. A woman cannot be held responsible for something she has no rights over (this other ladies kid). If you are talking about a direct reduction in the "marital" funds as a result of child support, then the wife is injured by proxy of the husbands actions, which is way different than "being on the hook" for someone else's kid legally.
Although she has no responsibility to legally support the child, it has an impact on the marriage, including joint finances.
No, because the woman has no way of doing a search to find out if the man fathered any children prior to their union. And these children have a way of popping up and asserting their rights over the children the couple has with in the marriage. A woman marrying a man without knowing about all children he has fathered can be on the hook for child support.
Good afternoon,
If you find a way for women to determine this, please present it so we can discuss. I'm all for a law that takes a woman off the hook for her husband's unknown children that pop up. I see that kind of law as grossly unfair and should be changed.
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Originally Posted by laorbust61
But you mainly seem to be worried about your legal and financial exposure, not your future wife's exposure. This itself would make you a poor candidate for marriage because of your mistrust. It is mistrust, even though you vigorously deny it. If you can't trust a woman to remain faithful to you, then don't marry her. Quit trying to hedge your bets. Find someone you can trust. C
In regards to your mistrust statement, I've let my previous rebuttals stand until you can directly refute them without making assumptions about what's in my mind. Hopefully you can grasp the concept of having complete trust in someone, yet verifying very important situations that have devastating consequences if things go in another direction.
As I've said before in this thread, this topic has nothing to do with me personally. Please refrain from personalizing my point of view on the topic, as there is no chance of me being in this predicament. Debate me on the merits of the argument.
Although she has no responsibility to legally support the child, it has an impact on the marriage, including joint finances.
I agree, but legality has everything in the world to do with it. It's a matter of comparing the two situations which are worlds apart.
Situation A) Man marries woman. Kid A, B, and C come into life, looking for 'daddy'. Woman, freaked out, gets divorce. Woman is off the hook and does not have to pay.
Situation B) Man and woman, dating, get pregnant. Man marries woman before birth. Kid A comes out. Two years later, woman tells man that he's not the father, get divorced. The man is still on the hook and does have to pay, or can get wage garnishment, sent to jail, yadda yadda.
Again this is based on US law.
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Injured by proxy is no less injury.
No less injury, however the recourse is much different. A woman can leave and not have to pay. A man does not have this option.
It's his prerogative to do whatever he likes. I wouldn't stick around to find out about his future choices/decisions. Although I would be amazed that I actually met an Internet weirdo off line.
Wouldn't it make sense that if a man is not trusting this woman he is trying to impregnate, perhaps he is sleeping with the wrong woman?
Doesn't trust have to be there prior to "hitting" it?
Mind you there are certainly women that have strayed and gotten pregnant from it. I guess there is no certainty in life or love, we just do the best we can.
I am also for emerald_octane's compromise even though it only covers the financial damage and isn't preventative. I like justthe6ofus's full idea. It's nice to see the two of you who disagreed with me the most are in support of this. Maybe there's hope for this topic after all.
Hey, we agreed to disagree, but it doesn't mean I'm irrational.
I do think it's an insult to suggest this ahead of time without any history of infidelity or cheating. For me, personally, it would make me feel as though I couldn't be trusted. Now if there is reason to believe, then by all means ask for the test.
Wouldn't it make sense that if a man is not trusting this woman he is trying to impregnate, perhaps he is sleeping with the wrong woman?
Doesn't trust have to be there prior to "hitting" it?
Mind you there are certainly women that have strayed and gotten pregnant from it. I guess there is no certainty in life or love, we just do the best we can.
The bold point of your statement shows why this is a valid topic. Trust is a two way street. One could have all the trust in the world and still get burned.
Hey, we agreed to disagree, but it doesn't mean I'm irrational.
I do think it's an insult to suggest this ahead of time without any history of infidelity or cheating. For me, personally, it would make me feel as though I couldn't be trusted. Now if there is reason to believe, then by all means ask for the test.
I completely understand your point of view. Even though I am advocating that men consider paternity testing at birth, I am not arguing that a woman doesn't have a right to be offended by or disagree with the proposal, even if the man proposes it long before they ever consider marriage or conceiving a baby together. That is certainly her prerogative.
That being said, agree to disagree, dead horse, etc, carry on.
You're looking at this from a financial point and overlooking the 'marriage' and impact it may have on a family.
That's because the way that the marriage/family relations progress is in the direct hands of the individuals in the relationship. The financial part is left to the hands of the courts. ALL parts of this transaction should be left up to the individuals in the relationship, but that's not how it works in real life.
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