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So you are suggesting that he sneak behind her back?
Nope. We're not talking about the woman being involved in any real way, actually. This is tough for a lot of women to understand, but the testing is only marginally related to the woman at all. The test is meant to establish whether or not there is a genetic relationship between the child and the purported father. That's a bilateral genetic relationship. The father is simply conducting a small investigation into the nature of that bilateral relationship.
As such, the woman's permission need neither be sought nor obtained. And based on the hysterical reactions that some women exhibit at the very idea of paternity testing, I would strongly advise most men not to bring it up at all. Just do it quietly and shut up about it. Unless the test comes back negative, in which case, you've got trouble any way you look at it.
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Basically you are advocating being a lying snake, which is exactly what you are accusing her of.
Again, you are filtering the whole process through the woman, when the man is concerned about the bilateral relationship between father and son. No "accusation" is being made. I think that interpretation is far too egoistic on the part of the woman. It's simply not about her.
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If you can't confront your wife with a discussion on the fact that you need to prove paternity, you are just a complete coward and a weasel.
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Any man that demands genetic testing of a child - is usually a cheat...or he would not think of it.
This type of accusatory thinking is why men should not mention paternity testing to the mother of the child whose DNA is being tested. There is little "profit" in doing so.
A lot of women are simply not going to be able to understand why it might be very valuable for a father to know to a scientific certainty whether or not he is a child's biological dad. They will interpret the father's decision to test through the most negative lenses possible, and the relationship will suffer for no reason.
As such, the woman's permission need neither be sought nor obtained. And based on the hysterical reactions that some women exhibit at the very idea of paternity testing, I would strongly advise most men not to bring it up at all. Just do it quietly and shut up about it. Unless the test comes back negative, in which case, you've got trouble any way you look at it.
I don't know what kind of marriage you're in, if you're in one at all, but that's not how it works in my marriage at least. My husband and I don't get to independently make medical decisions, financial decisions, academic decisions, professional decisions, or even paint color decisions without consulting the other. Clearly, that kind of transparency in a relationship is foreign to many of you. Do yourself and others a favor and wear a condom.
Nope. We're not talking about the woman being involved in any real way, actually. This is tough for a lot of women to understand, but the testing is only marginally related to the woman at all. The test is meant to establish whether or not there is a genetic relationship between the child and the purported father. That's a bilateral genetic relationship. The father is simply conducting a small investigation into the nature of that bilateral relationship.
As such, the woman's permission need neither be sought nor obtained. And based on the hysterical reactions that some women exhibit at the very idea of paternity testing, I would strongly advise most men not to bring it up at all. Just do it quietly and shut up about it. Unless the test comes back negative, in which case, you've got trouble any way you look at it.
If the father questions his paternity (and therefore needs a paternity test for proof) then he shouldn't act on behalf of the minor child as his/her adovcate in looking out for the best interest of that child. You know, being that he is only a "purported" father and not claiming that he is, indeed the real biological father. The mother should be aware that this test is being done since the child is a minor and cannot speak on behalf of itself.
So yes, the mother should be able to oversee and AND get the results which effect HER biological, minor child.
A lot of women are simply not going to be able to understand why it might be very valuable for a father to know to a scientific certainty whether or not he is a child's biological dad. They will interpret the father's decision to test through the most negative lenses possible, and the relationship will suffer for no reason.
Just test quietly. That's best for all involved.
So basically, be a sneak and a weasel...which makes him no better than a woman who may *possibly* be cheating.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,709 posts, read 41,878,024 times
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Originally Posted by Braunwyn
Why do you want to fudge the numbers on this poll?
I'm working on a Business Statistics midterm, I needed a distraction.
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I'll entertain your comment. What you are saying is she should take your word that you are faithful, but you don't need to take hers?
When you talk about being faithful to your mate, you don't really trust that she's faithful if you need a paternity test. So this only applies to you?
I never said I would do this in real life if I was in the situation. If I had reasonable doubt to trust her I would, but with all going on today I would not blame a guy who took the general policy measure.
Furthermore, if she thinks I'm being unfaithful, provided she can provide it I'll gladly take a lie-detector test since I ain't got anything to hide.
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Not like I was doing accounting for a govt contract.
