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Those are all things that MOST adults should accomplish by the time they're in their mid 20s... that's nothing above and beyond the norm. Of course, I always split the bill (as do most of my girlfriends) because I'm sick of guys 'expecting' sex if they pay.
I was living on my own, supporting myself by the time I was 19, but I'm supposed to overlook it on a guy whose 30? I don't expect a big house, fancy car or 6 figure income but I'd like to think the very least I can expect is that he supports himself.
Exactly. That's what he considers over the top, an expectation of a man who can feed himself and wipe his own ass. We all have such expectations of every adult we know (men and women), not just potential suitors.
HOW does she determine that with her initial attraction? If she sees him sitting at the bar and approaches him, she has no idea he lives with his parents, doesn't have a car, doesn't pay his way..etc.
Initial attraction, you know, initial stages. She will find out sooner or later about his financial status and that can be a deal breaker right there. It takes a few dates for you to at least get an idea. If in those initial stages you see he doesn’t have a car, live with the parents, uses coupons, doesn’t pay for your expenses, etc. He’s kicked to the curve. Maybe for arguments sake women might say they don’t care because all that matters is his heart but, come on. It’s like denying that men put initial importance on a woman’s looks, therefore, rejecting those who are fat or past their prime.
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And like I said earlier...even after a few dates, if the guy exhibits the traits mentioned above, it STILL does not speak to his financial status
But still, those traits would get him kicked to curve.
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I'm not denying anything...I'm proving that you cannot judge a book by it's cover.
You’re right. Maybe I didn’t make myself clear. I am talking about initial attraction, you know, when a guy starts to take you out (initial stages). It is around that period where a woman can start to see those traits on a man.
And a nice woman would look beyond a man’s economic status just like a nice man would look beyond a woman’s looks or weight.
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Originally Posted by Braunwyn
He's just licking his wounds and trying to make himself feel better. But, it's no coincidence that he couldn't respond to the simple logic that argued the idiocy of his incessant rants.
You’re still at it? It must have hurt you. I have responded over and over to the things you deny about women. Not the first time around this is talked about. It’s no coincidence you didn’t want to prove you are not fat while I wanted to prove I am not short nor fat. Let’s start with the tummy.
You don’t like men to expect sex, there are men who don’t like women to expect to be paid for. At first I didn’t like women EXPECTING me to pay simply because they are women but then again I guess it’s an American thing so when I am in the USA I just follow along.
When I first started college in the USA, I was surprised to see how Americans had parents paying for their tuition, books, food, rent, car, etc. and even for their weddings. When I am in the USA, it’s common for me to hear about my friends’ parents saving for their daughter’s college or wedding, their son’s college, and so on. Where I come from we are the ones who usually take care of those expenses with the sweat of our brows. I think it’s fine for Americans to rely on their parents for those things, it’s a privilege I guess.
Anyways, as a woman, I agree. You are not supposed to overlook for those things on a guy. As a woman, you shouldn’t really worry about those things. If you are nice to hang out with and look presentable, a guy will ask you out just fine. If a man is a loser, tough luck. Heck, I am not even sure if the word “loser” is used for women.
My parents didn't pay for a thing for me..I paid for all my tuition, living expenses etc. When I asked my parents for a bit of help with books one semester they laughed at me and said 'better get a second job'.
Honestly, I would rather be judged on my economic status than my looks, which is what most men I've come in contact with almost solely judge on. At least I have some control over my economic status.
No, the word 'loser' isn't really used for women, but 'ugly, cow, fat etc.' are commonly used and I'd think it would be on the same wavelength as 'loser'.
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Originally Posted by Braunwyn
Exactly. That's what he considers over the top, an expectation of a man who can feed himself and wipe his own ass. We all have such expectations of every adult we know (men and women), not just potential suitors.
Initial attraction, you know, initial stages. She will find out sooner or later about his financial status and that can be a deal breaker right there. It takes a few dates for you to at least get an idea. If in those initial stages you see he doesn’t have a car, live with the parents, uses coupons, doesn’t pay for your expenses, etc. He’s kicked to the curve. Maybe for arguments sake women might say they don’t care because all that matters is his heart but, come on. It’s like denying that men put initial importance on a woman’s looks, therefore, rejecting those who are fat or past their prime.
I'm sorry, I don't buy it. Unless he advertises his wealth (or lack of) there is no way for anyone to know his financial status.
And I will say this...after living on this earth for 38 yrs and the experiences I've had...I'd much rather be with someone that has a big heart and knows how to express themselves than be with someone who is rich. He needs to be able to support himself (food, roof over his head, bills), but beyond that I wouldn't care what he had in his bank account.
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Originally Posted by onihC
But still, those traits would get him kicked to curve.
It's curb....and I think while there may be some women out there that are that shallow, most are not. At least not most that I know.
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Originally Posted by onihC
You’re right. Maybe I didn’t make myself clear. I am talking about initial attraction, you know, when a guy starts to take you out (initial stages). It is around that period where a woman can start to see those traits on a man.
And a smart, educated woman would know that those traits don't mean squat when it comes to his financial status so she's not really judging him based on what is in his bank account. She's judging him on his character.
If he lives at home and makes no effort to better himself, then it shows he lacks ambition or passion.
If he has no desire to hold a job to support himself, pay his bills and put food on the table...it shows he's lazy or incompetent.
On the other hand, if he paid using a coupon I'd think he was pretty damn smart with managing his finances
My parents didn't pay for a thing for me..I paid for all my tuition, living expenses etc. When I asked my parents for a bit of help with books one semester they laughed at me and said 'better get a second job'.
Interesting. As for me, I can imagine my parents would have helped me if I needed and they even offered before I crossed the ocean but I made it clear this was MY plan and I wanted to take charge of MY future but also thanked them for offering to help and I would contact them if I needed a hand, which never happened.
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No, the word 'loser' isn't really used for women, but 'ugly, cow, fat etc.' are commonly used and I'd think it would be on the same wavelength as 'loser'.
You are right. There is no such thing as a woman being a loser, cheap, etc. but there is for women who are ugly, fat, a cow, etc. In this superficial world, women are valued for their looks while men are valued for their economic status. A desirable woman will be attractive, in good shape, young, etc. A desirable man will have a good paying job, drive a nice car, and have a good economic status.
You’re still at it? It must have hurt you. I have responded over and over to the things you deny about women. Not the first time around this is talked about. It’s no coincidence you didn’t want to prove you are not fat while I wanted to prove I am not short nor fat. Let’s start with the tummy.
Oh yea, it really hurt. A man who wants to be treated like a traditional woman is so threatening. And you have not been able to refute my solid points because your position is wrong. Address the facts of census. At least think about it. As far as my looks go, I have a few pictures in my profile. Most folk on this forum know what I look like. And I know you are short because you discuss short, ugly men who have to have money to get women quite often. Most of us speak from experience. I'm sure that's what you're doing.
I'm sorry, I don't buy it. Unless he advertises his wealth (or lack of) there is no way for anyone to know his financial status.
If women can get an idea that the man that’s taking them out is a player or whatever, of course women can get an idea if the man is undesirable because he has those traits I have mentioned before that women don’t like in men. Sooner or later a woman finds out of these traits and kicks him to the curve.
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And I will say this...after living on this earth for 38 yrs and the experiences I've had...I'd much rather be with someone that has a big heart and knows how to express themselves than be with someone who is rich. He needs to be able to support himself (food, roof over his head, bills), but beyond that I wouldn't care what he had in his bank account.
And there are men who don’t care if a woman is fat and ugly as long as she has a big heart. Sure, as a woman you want a man who can support himself but you as a woman don’t really have to be able to do those things for yourself. A woman can be nice looking for a man and fun to be with and that’s pretty much all a woman would need to have a man taking her out. Like women have agreed before, men are more simple.
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It's curb....
Oops
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and I think while there may be some women out there that are that shallow, most are not. At least not most that I know.
Sure. I also know men who do not care about a woman’s looks and weight.
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Originally Posted by Braunwyn
Oh yea, it really hurt. A man who wants to be treated like a traditional woman is so threatening.
Nope. I simply like equality. Something you are not used to as an American woman.
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And you have not been able to refute my solid points because your position is wrong.
We have talked about this over and over. Plus I am touching base on those points with 2 people already in this same thread.
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As far as my looks go, I have a few pictures in my profile. Most folk on this forum know what I look like.
I can say the same thing. There are people in the forum who have seen my pictures and they can tell you that when it comes to women, romancing them, etc. I don’t do that bad of a job.
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And I know you are short because you discuss short
Go back to those short threads and tell me where I said something about it. If you are going that way then I guess you are fat, old, and don’t let your guy have sex with you since you are always in those threads.
You’re still at it? It must have hurt you. I have responded over and over to the things you deny about women. Not the first time around this is talked about. It’s no coincidence you didn’t want to prove you are not fat while I wanted to prove I am not short nor fat. Let’s start with the tummy.
Or maybe she is secure enough to not let herself be baited into such a sophomoric (that means immature, juvenile, idiotic) contest on an anonymous (that means you do not have to be identified if you so choose) forum. Maybe she is being decent enough to pass on your little challenge because she sees how pointless it is to try to prove herself to a guy whom she neither knows or cares about.
So why do you want to prove that you are not short or fat? What does it matter? Why should you care what others on this forum think? Seems like only a REALLY insecure person would worry about something so trivial. (That means unimportant.)
If women can get an idea that the man that’s taking them out is a player or whatever, of course women can get an idea if the man is undesirable because he has those traits I have mentioned before that women don’t like in men. Sooner or later a woman finds out of these traits and kicks him to the curve.
Being a player and being financially secure are two completely different things.
Personality traits don't give any indication of financial security, while they would for being a player.
Of course they eventually find out, but not with initial attraction. Hell we have had friends and family that have no clue to our financial status because we don't advertise it. I'm not really sure why someone would do that with a person they only knew a few days, weeks or even months.
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Originally Posted by onihC
And there are men who don’t care if a woman is fat and ugly as long as she has a big heart. Sure, as a woman you want a man who can support himself but you as a woman don’t really have to be able to do those things for yourself. A woman can be nice looking for a man and fun to be with and that’s pretty much all a woman would need to have a man taking her out. Like women have agreed before, men are more simple.
Really? So who would support me, mommy and daddy??? If I were single I absolutely WOULD be supporting myself.
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