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I am generally confident about my photography, but when it comes to women I always doubt myself. I can't seem to ask them out. I can talk to them but even when the interest is obvious I can't make myself believe that they would be interested in dating me. This has cost me several women over the last fifteen years. Four in the last year alone. I know this issue is confidence/self esteem related. How can I fix this so I can start to live my life fully and stop losing out?
You are basically a salesman who can handle the pitch but do not know how to close the sale. Your problem is with one word: "Ask"
Don't "ask" women out. Simply plan an enjoyable event for yourself, one which can readily and effortlessly accommodate a guest, and invite one of these women to join you. "I'm going to such and such place at such and such time; I can pick you up at such other place at such other time; why don't you join me?"
You are direct, have given her nothing to think about regarding planning and logistics, so all she can say is yes or no. If yes, great. If no, also great because it is something you would be doing anyway.
Self esteem is simple (but not easy) to build: Acknowledge that you are no better or worse, no more or less special than any other person on the planet. In addition to your photography, engage in the other things you excel at. Get some solid accomplishments and victories (personal and professional) under your belt and watch how your esteem issues melt away.
It won't happen overnight, but will occur more quickly than you realize if you approach it with earnestness.
I'm not sure if you genuinely need advice, or if this is a ploy to attract women. It's not often I find a 43 year old man who's looking for advice on how to handle "twenty somethings", flirting with him. I dunno. I mean, are you bragging, or do you need advice?
I do not 'hate' you. I don't like most of the people in general b/c of their ways....anyways, you think by this OP 1. going to the gym 2. getting some clothes and 3. just taking shots at asking people out is going to amount to something?
Well I am saying it's not going to change much of anything. Why? Because I did that and again it resulted in nothing for years. That's why every time someone says 'oh just smile' or 'just beleive you can get any guy' I tell them what a crock it is b/c it does not work. What ends up happening is you end up seeing how they really couldn't care less how great you think you are -- you are still ugly and/or socially retarded (if those are what your problems are). You just end up looking delusional and stupid. So much for all this so called self esteem crap, goes right out the window! Everyone cannot become 'a catch' if that was so they would've done it by now. This OP have to realize they are going up against dozens of other males that have had real life results with women, women are going to pick the ones that are the most viable. The men do the same except it's based mostly on looks.
I am generally confident about my photography, but when it comes to women I always doubt myself. I can't seem to ask them out. I can talk to them but even when the interest is obvious I can't make myself believe that they would be interested in dating me. This has cost me several women over the last fifteen years. Four in the last year alone. I know this issue is confidence/self esteem related. How can I fix this so I can start to live my life fully and stop losing out?
Dig down deep inside of yourself. Think of something you are really-really good at that no one else can compete with. Let it build up and fire away!
I am asking for advice just1fan. Through I had the interest due to my insecurties I didn't take it any further and lost them. Nothing to brag about there.
I am asking for advice just1fan. Through I had the interest due to my insecurties I didn't take it any further and lost them. Nothing to brag about there.
How did you lose their interest? They just didn't like you for you, or what?
One I waited to long to ask out and then found out she no longer worked where I met her. The others I was too nervous to get to know beyond flirting with them and then they were gone as well. With all four I kept talking myself out of going further and/or asking them out.
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