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I have never received the impression that if a woman gave me her number first that meant she wanted to sleep with me. All it told me is that she was interested in chatting and getting to know me better. However, I must admit at some point during the "courting" stage if she is making things too easy for me, it turns me off. I can't explain it, but it just does. For some reason if I do a lot of the leg work and it works out, I feel like I accomplished something, and it makes me want to see her more.
I'll contact her once if I'm interested. I don't play games anymore, we live in a world of advanced mobile communication technology. You can text, email, call me at almost any single point in time. I used to date a girl who would wait a mininmum of 24 hours to get back to me every single time. I regret giving her more than one chance, I should've walked much earlier than I did.
If she doesn't call me back in a reasonable time or I don't start seeing any effort or "contact intiation" from her at some point then I just move on.
I'll contact her once if I'm interested. I don't play games anymore, we live in a world of advanced mobile communication technology. You can text, email, call me at almost any single point in time. I used to date a girl who would wait a mininmum of 24 hours to get back to me every single time. I regret giving her more than one chance, I should've walked much earlier than I did.
If she doesn't call me back in a reasonable time or I don't start seeing any effort or "contact intiation" from her at some point then I just move on.
I can't argue with that, on an initial meeting, I will ask once, I won't ask again. As you said if they can't find a way to contact you within a day, then there is your answer
It's not a confidence issue, but I understand where you might think that is the case.
But let me put the scene together for you from a man's perspective: once you give me your number without me asking for it, you have now let me know that you want me to f_ck you, and any talk or thinking about dating you or being involved relationship with you will come later after I get laid... but it's highly unlikely now that I know you are a very forward woman and have no problem putting yourself out there when it comes to your sexual needs. If the sex doesn't happen soon, the guy will feel like you tricked him into dating you.
If there are any guys who think I'm over stating this, please post your thoughts.
Sorry, this guy disagrees with you. I like when women show they are interested, keeps me from wasting my time on someone who isn't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrinieRN
I always wondered why the guys I seemed to really fall for never initiated contact first. I actually fell for one guy who flat out said he doesn't chase women, he waits for them to do the chasing. What does that say? Is it a sign of being really laidback or lazy? What's that about?
It could be laidback or lazy, OR he could simply be tired of chasing after women who aren't truly serious and sitting back and allowing the ones who really are serious to appear. I've seen too many men and women get caught up in situations where the person they were pursuing accepted date requests because they were "bored" or "passing time until someone better came along".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Don't be ridiculous (where do the find these guys??) It only means she enjoyed the conversation or dance with you, and thought it was worth seeing if you two might get along and have anything in common.
Jeez, on one thread we have a guy squawking about women not taking the initiative and not paying for dates, and here we have a guy who assumes just because a woman gives him her number, she's a prostitute. We can't win around here, can we, ladies?
Wait, are you the guy who inspired the "creep" thread?
You "can't win around here" because people are individuals. Do you really expect all men to have a uniform opinion on the same subject?
I can't argue with that, on an initial meeting, I will ask once, I won't ask again. As you said if they can't find a way to contact you within a day, then there is your answer
yeah, unfortunately for me I have a good heart and I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I really need to curb that bad habit and start realizing some people don't deserve it. I have this problem where I think people are inherently good.
Ruth, this forum isnt a good population group for those measures. If you want good feedback, just ask guys you know at work, bartenders, any guy really, but ask the right question: If a woman is interested in a dating a guy, do you think she should wait for him to ask for her number, or is it too foward just to hand him her number when he hasnt asked for it?
Something like that instead of "is it okay if a woman gives a guy her number?" You will get a 100% Yes, but are you just looking for confurmation or an answer if its a good practice.
Last night at the movies, I asked 9 male friends of my brother and another 9 male students this morning that question. Only one of them thought it was begging to be considered "easy" to give out a number without being asked.
Yeah, I know. Never said I spoke for all men, and always suggested I could be wrong, asked for more feedback, etc. Plus, I know there are a lot of beta males out there who have no problems with women pursuing them, and in fact welcome it.
First you make blanket statements that appear to speak for all men, then you pull out the shaming language for men who don't mind if women approach, come on man! There are some out there who don't want to deal with time wasters or have enough women to choose from that approaching is unnecessary.
I give you credit for at least being open to the possibility of others disagreeing.
Last edited by Freedom123; 05-04-2012 at 08:06 AM..
My husband called me every week for the first 2 months we dated. I liked him a lot but stopped myself from appearing too "available" every time he called or asked for a 3rd or 4th date. He admitted in the past there were women he dated for 6 weeks who suddenly started doing a lot of the"initiating" (planning location/time/activity for 3rd or 5th date) and he lost interest because that primal urge to "chase" was no longer present.
this is true, and it really depends on the man in question.
men who are very desirable to women are usually excited by the chase, because it is generally a positive experience for them. guys who aren't as desirable, aren't as social or as extroverted, who get rejected/ignored a lot, are going to be insecure and find the pursuit much less enjoyable without very obvious positive feedback and hand-holding.
I have never been interested in being chased or men who feel the need to chase. I like men who are secure enough in their manhood to be looking for women who are partners, not prey. I suppose lucky for me those have never been hard to find.
OTOH, I can count on literally one hand the number of times I have given out my phone number when asked in a bar or club setting. Like most people, I met my husband NOT in a bar.
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