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I asked 9 male friends of my brother and another 9 male students this morning. Only one of them, thought it was begging to be considered "easy" to give out a number without being asked.
Okay. sounds like you got the answer you were looking for and I was wrong from what you learned. I maybe just old school then. Chi-turtles post above about the common use of advance mobile technology may be changing our norms. I know when I want a number, I just have them punch in their number on my iphone and its not that big of a deal anymore, at least for me. Anyway, go forth and have no concern about giving men your number when you want to get to know them better and he forgot to ask for it. Good Luck!
Good thread. I've actually been thinking about this the last few days because of a guy I've sort of been dating. It's a complicated dance trying not to appear desperate or over eager, but also to let him know I am interested. I don't really have a problem initiating contact, but overall I like the guy to be clear he's interested in me. And even though I don't want to admit it, I do understand why guys are put off by women who seem too eager at first. I'm absolutely put off by guys who come on too strong. I don't like guys who text too often or who don't wait for me to reply before texting or calling again. There's something really unattractive about desperation or someone who doesn't seem to have any life besides pursuing me.
@bignutz: the harsh reality is you must be old because that is not what folks are doing these days.
Forget about asking for numbers. Folks are straight up getting bold in asking for sex two mins into the conversation.
For example: Last Saturday, I was getting off work when I was approach by a guy who works in the next building. After we did Introduction, exchange stats, talked about interests etc; he said and I quote "we can help each other out. Let me see your jugs."
Why bother asking a woman for her number when you can get right to it?
Even if I am interested in a woman, I may not contact her or make a move for a long time, if ever. I may not even know you're single, or have assumed otherwise. I many have other proespects in whom I'm interested, and for various reasons I may approach them first. If things go really well with any of them, I won't continue looking. However, if ONE or more of those prospects shows interest in me, they will almost certainly move to the top of the list.
If you are interested, show it. Otherwise, someone else may achieve the relationship you were hoping for while waiting.
@bignutz: the harsh reality is you must be old because that is not what folks are doing these days.
Forget about asking for numbers. Folks are straight up getting bold in asking for sex two mins into the conversation.
For example: Last Saturday, I was getting off work when I was approach by a guy who works in the next building. After we did Introduction, exchange stats, talked about interests etc; he said and I quote "we can help each other out. Let me see your jugs."
Why bother asking a woman for her number when you can get right to it?
Courtship is dead.
Too funny, reminds me of the scene in Ghost of Girlfriends Past where the old man is giving the kid advice.... "That's good. No phone numbers, no last names, hey, no first names if you can swing it." P.S., lots of truisms in this clip...
I'd welcome a woman initiating contact. I'm really not shy in the least when people talk to me, but I'm incredibly shy about initiating a conversation with someone I've never met. In fact I never do it at all; I just can't think of anything to say, ever. I also never ask for numbers during a conversation or ask anyone out on dates. Again, largely due to shyness and fear of rejection, but a lot of it also has to do with the fact that I can't ever remember seeing any signs that a woman was interested in me. If I'm not getting that impression when we're talking, then naturally I'm not even going to consider asking her out.
Good thread. I've actually been thinking about this the last few days because of a guy I've sort of been dating. It's a complicated dance trying not to appear desperate or over eager, but also to let him know I am interested. I don't really have a problem initiating contact, but overall I like the guy to be clear he's interested in me. And even though I don't want to admit it, I do understand why guys are put off by women who seem too eager at first. I'm absolutely put off by guys who come on too strong. I don't like guys who text too often or who don't wait for me to reply before texting or calling again. There's something really unattractive about desperation or someone who doesn't seem to have any life besides pursuing me.
Some guys need a little help. They may be signaling you that they're interested, trying to catch your eye time and again, making friendly overtures, but they just can't bring themselves to ask for the number. So you help 'em out by offering your number.
Forget about asking for numbers. Folks are straight up getting bold in asking for sex two mins into the conversation.
For example: Last Saturday, I was getting off work when I was approach by a guy who works in the next building. After we did Introduction, exchange stats, talked about interests etc; he said and I quote "we can help each other out. Let me see your jugs."
Courtship is dead.
This doesn't mean courtship is dead. This is just the same old, same old sleaze that's always been around. Did you slap him? That's what moments like this were made for. Though I've heard that these days, a good stiff punch is more popular.
There is one other related item you should be aware of. Some guys, including myself in certain situations, find it a turn off when they are no longer the pursuer, the one doing the chase. It's weird concept but sometimes it feels like it deprives us of playing that part of our role as a man. I know it's crazy and we should get over it, but it somehow affects libido and sexual desire. For example, I use to think it would be great to have a hot woman just come up to me at a bar and say, "lets go to your place and screw our brains out." Guess what, happened to me twice and it totally turned me off, no room for me to be the hunter, my tube snake wasn't interested in that boogie, and I didn't go through it. Go figure, and I may be different from others in that regard. Good Luck.
It's not crazy. Male brains are wired to be goal-oriented. See the hill, take the hill. I'll add that they have greater appreciation for the hill that is hard-won.
Sounds sexist on my part to say that, but there it is.
To get an idea of this on a very basic level, look at the psychology of gaming. When The Sims first came out, it was definitely a "female" game even though the developers did not intend for it to be. They realized there would be a certain segment of females (and I use that term because it incorporates teens and adult women) who would get a bang out of playing "pixel Barbies," and they were right. But they also expected more males to be into it.
Turns out that for males, not having a way to "win" equates to "what's the point?" You can't "beat" the Sims, and because the Sims in Sims 1 didn't die (naturally--you could kill them, or set them up to be killed), there was no way to determine success or failure. Sure they had moods that went up or down depending on their immediate circumstances (hunger, hygiene, etc.), but it didn't matter to them if they were in a job they "wanted," whether they climbed the ladder on their career path, whether they got married and had families, and so on.
So with Sims 2 and Sims 3 they changed the game play to involve more goals. The Sims also now have lifetime goals, things they need to do or else they'll die (naturally) with "regrets." Dying happy is a form of winning. That drew a lot more males to the series.
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