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Interesting that there aren't any threads from child-free people demanding explanations as why those with children, chose to have them. I bet their reasoning could just as easily be twisted around to be perceived as selfish.
Interesting that there aren't any threads from child-free people demanding explanations as why those with children, chose to have them. I bet their reasoning could just as easily be twisted around to be perceived as selfish.
Start one up. If it's nearly as fascinating as this one, we're all in for a treat.
I got married, but never had kids and am now divorced. Though I'm a guy, I think its just too late. I always thought "I've got plenty of time", but I never expected to be divorced. Now, the women who are interested in me are in their late 40's which I don't want because I want kids. I even say on my dating profile 28-40, and yet I get 46 year old women emailing me. I sense if I don't get lucky and meet someone soon, its only going to get harder. I can only imagine how hard it is for women who are in their mid-late 40's and never got married, or got married and didn't have kids, or are divorced and the only guys they want are a little younger and in better shape than most 50 year old men. This is really tough. But I would give anything to have a family and a career, neither of which I have.
You can adopt. Why do you need a woman to have a family with? You can also go surrogate..There's plenty of options out there these days
Interesting that there aren't any threads from child-free people demanding explanations as why those with children, chose to have them. I bet their reasoning could just as easily be twisted around to be perceived as selfish.
You can twist anything any way you want to. Some of you have already insinuated that only stupid people have children. And that's okay. I don't understand all the insults and name calling, personally. Some of my friends want children, some don't. We talk about why we want or don't want them. It's not a big deal to us. None of my friends have ever told me I was stupid for wanting kids and I've never told any of my friends that they were selfish for not wanting them. Why? Because those things are simply not true. If you don't want children - you simply don't want them. And if you do - you simply do. If you are struggling financially but you desperately want children - you will find a way to make it work. If you don't want children - all the money in the world isn't going to change things. This isn't selfishness or stupidity - it's about priorities and what's important to you. If something is important to you - you'll find a way to make it happen. If it's not important to you - it doesn't really matter.
And as for the Jerry Sanduskys and such - there have always been and will always be bad people in the world. There have always been and will always be good people in the world. That's just life.
You answered my question without trying to answer it.
Maybe you should find something more fullfilling in life--and I'm not saying it has to be a spouse and/or child(ren)... .
How about you get off your high horse. You don't know me at all. My volunteer work is very fulfilling. At the end of the day, it's the stone cold truth. Tragic but nevertheless truthful.
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Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
If you are struggling financially but you desperately want children - you will find a way to make it work.
Like being a parasite and receiving aid from the state? My taxes which I pay to the government being possibly used to help provide for children I have nothing to do with. You should improve yourself and put yourself in a good situation to reproduce before you actually do. I guess it's easier to just spread one's legs/wear a condom. I'm not trying to be mean but it makes you do wonder about those who are on food stamps or welfare. Why couldn't they go back to school? Why couldn't they improve their financial situation. It would be better for them and offspring they so desperately desire.
I make a comfortable living. I believe the only social safety nets in place should be provided by the generosity of folks who are able and willing. Dollars and cents shouldn't be the sole factor of in determining whether or not to enter parenthood is all I'm trying to say.
It sure as hell should be for people whose ability to provide for their children is in doubt. The notion that luv will be our food is sweet and idealistic. And completely irresponsible.
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Demeaning the relationship a parent has with their child to that of what a child has with a teddy bear is offensive and IMO shows that you've never experienced it from either end.
Have a wonderful day!
I am the mother of two. I have a great deal of respect for the relationship between a parent and a child. Not just sweetness and light hugs and kisses but the massive responsibility that bringing another human being into the word places upon said parent. I take on the responsibility cheerfully and enthusiastically. The idea that luv will be our food and if you think differently "you don't have what it takes to be a parent" I think is what you said demonstrates that you do not yet have what it takes to be a parent, an appreciation for not just the joy of parenthood but the responsibility that that incurs.
Or it could be, that not everyone wants what you want. BTW, trying to plan your life to a T is a sure recipe for disaster. Just because you want 4 daughters at the age of 33, doesnt mean thats what you'll get. Better pray youre able to have any children at all, or your first born doesnt come out deformed with 2 weeks to live. Try being a little open minded, because even the title of this thread is offensive, to those who choose to live their own lives in the way that it makes sense to them. we are all unique individuals with vastly different perspectives on life. Respecting that would go a long way.
Totally true. We might have kids, we might not. We'd like to, but we're not to the point where we feel like it's time yet. I'm not getting any younger, but women much older than myself are having children. I've got a congenital abnormality that may not make it in the cards for me, and would have been the situation regardless of my age, etc. There are lots of people who would like to be parents, and it's not going to happen for them. Adoption is an option, but not necessarily a viable one for just everybody. You never know.
I don't think the title is offensive, it simply states a question...some people want marriage and/or kids, some don't feel strongly one way or the other and are more "We'll see what life holds," and some are adamant that they don't want either and/or one of those things. But for any of those perspectives, there are reasons WHY one comes to those decisions. It's interesting to see what some of the reasons are. There are plenty of reasons I totally understand and identify with for any of these perspectives, and reasons I personally think are complete BS. But the beauty is, it doesn't really matter what I think. Or what anybody thinks.
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