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They have too many issues in there life to deal with any of mine.
I'm asked by them why I'm still single though. *shrug* Women as a whole have been horrible to me. It's just part of life.
Some people have it easy and just can't FATHOM that others haven't. Some women get to pick whatever men they want, have tons of boyfriends ( I know women who have a different boyfriend every few months, and they're GOOD men, too) and just don't understand why I'm single all the time. I'm great on paper, that's for sure.
Some people have it easy and just can't FATHOM that others haven't. Some women get to pick whatever men they want, have tons of boyfriends ( I know women who have a different boyfriend every few months, and they're GOOD men, too) and just don't understand why I'm single all the time. I'm great on paper, that's for sure.
eh, I don't let it get me down. I'm a pretty funny laid back guy regardless of what others think about me. Some people are just better off than others. It's part of life.
Yeah, you suffered and apparently men still asked you out, you were still able to attend school as normal and you still lived a fairly normal life even after the accident.
I did not have many dates in high school. I also missed some school (of course) due to having to have my face put back together, but yes, I did graduate with my class.
I am not going to apologize for being able to move forward with my life after a team of excellent doctors and dentists put my face back together - and because of their work, over a three year period (and then again about 8 years ago, when I had to go back for some more work), my face eventually (AFTER high school and a year or so of college) returned to a normal appearance, other than the scars which are still slightly noticeable upon close inspection.
Like I said, I am not competing with you about "who had the most disfigurement" in high school. I was hoping that you would be able to realize that traumatic disfigurements and accidents happen to other people as well, and that this does impact their personalities and outlook on the topic - but apparently having the bottom half of my face shattered doesn't earn me admittance to the "Disfigured Teen Club," - at least not by your standards!
Odd.
I've had other very serious and sad tragedies in my life as well, but believe me, I won't be burdening you with those stories. You'd probably dismiss them as unimportant or not "bad enough" because I'm well adjusted NOW.
I did not have many dates in high school. I also missed some school (of course) due to having to have my face put back together, but yes, I did graduate with my class.
I am not going to apologize for being able to move forward with my life after a team of excellent doctors and dentists put my face back together - and because of their work, over a three year period (and then again about 8 years ago, when I had to go back for some more work), my face eventually (AFTER high school and a year or so of college) returned to a normal appearance, other than the scars which are still slightly noticeable upon close inspection.
Like I said, I am not competing with you about "who had the most disfigurement" in high school. I was hoping that you would be able to realize that traumatic disfigurements and accidents happen to other people as well, and that this does impact their personalities and outlook on the topic - but apparently having the bottom half of my face shattered doesn't earn me admittance to the "Disfigured Teen Club."
Odd.
I've had other very serious and sad tragedies in my life as well, but believe me, I won't be burdening you with those stories. You'd probably dismiss them as unimportant or not "bad enough" because I'm well adjusted NOW.
Sheeze!
Yes, I'm so happy that you were able to move on from your injuries and I find that remarkable. You only had a few dates? I never got asked out. Not once.
You're still attractive and you healed nicely and got to move on. I'll never be able to do that. Thank your lucky stars that you were able to do that. Now, imagine your scars had keloided on your face and still looked fresh and bubbly 20 years later. Imagine you could do NOTHING to help it. I was unattractive before, and I'm even more unattractive after. I've always had a really good attitude about it, giving public speeches at National conventions regarding my disorder and people were always amazed at how well adjusted I was even with all the stuff I went through starting from the age of 11 and going until, well, it will never end.
You healed. Consider yourself lucky. Some people never get that opportunity.
I really don't like the whole "Women should wait for men to ask them out." I understand the thought process behind it, but I'm an only child and I'd prefer to get what I really want as opposed to what wants me. I think men are lucky in that they're expected to do the pursuing. At least (ideally) they would be ending up with who they really wanted and not just "settling" for someone.
Lol, men settle too. Men might have to go way down the list before he gets a women to say yes. So in essence he's settling.
I have to add something that might change all of this but what if the person doesn't think you are interested? I have mentioned the guy I am interested in but something recently was said that makes me wonder. Basically he told someone he didn't think I was interested in him and that I thought I was in a different league than him. The person said they didn't even know I liked him until I said something. I realized until recently I haven't been sending him vibes I am interested because no one knew.
I am not saying he will ask me out but if he doesn't know I am interested combined with severe shyness and low self esteem can answer a few things. I've run into this before where guys didn't know I was interested.
My point in all of this is we can't always say the guy will pursue. Maybe he is too shy or who knows what.
Yes, I'm so happy that you were able to move on from your injuries and I find that remarkable.
You're still attractive and you healed nicely and got to move on. I'll never be able to do that. Thank your lucky stars that you were able to do that. Now, imagine your scars had keloided on your face and still looked fresh and bubbly 20 years later. Imagine you could do NOTHING to help it. I was unattractive before, and I'm even more unattractive after. I've always had a really good attitude about it, giving public speeches at National conventions regarding my disorder and people were always amazed at how well adjusted I was even with all the stuff I went through starting from the age of 11 and going until, well, it will never end.
You healed. Consider yourself lucky. Some people never get that opportunity.
I DO consider myself lucky - more than that, unusually blessed. I thank God every day that I look in the mirror and remember what I did look like and see how I look today.
That doesn't negate the fact that I was a hot mess in high school - during prime "self esteem" years. My lips needed to be rebuilt. After the initial injuries "firmed up" my lips were misshapen and full of bumps of scar tissue and places where pieces were missing. My teeth couldn't be attached till 1) my mouth finished growing and 2) my gums healed - and parts of my gums in front were simply gone. So I had fake teeth that I had to take out in the restroom at school after I ate anything, in order to clean them, or my breath would stink. There was no private bathroom - I just had to stand at the sink and take them out and pray to God that no one walked in. Oh, and at night, I had to take them out and let them sit in a glass by my bed. So every morning, I woke up toothless. It may not sound like much, but believe me, it leaves an impression on a young girl.
I also had heavy scarring across my chin, which basically had to stay there till other more urgent matters were addressed (like my gums and teeth). So - finally when I was 18, I had the first round of dermabrasion, which had to go pretty deep. So - I had to go to school with my chin completely raw - I couldn't put a bandage over it because it needed air, and I couldn't miss any more school.
Not pretty. I had to go through several rounds of that.
Now - I know people have had it worse - a LOT worse. You, for instance. But what I went through was tough for a young girl in high school.
I handled it with humor - laughed it off, made fun of myself, etc (and then went home and cried). But the humor helped - and in spite of the trauma to my face, I did have a few dates in high school - all of them guys who were "friends." Only after I went off to college, where people didn't know about the wreck and apparently didn't have mental images of me "in process" and were seeing me for the first time, did I start to get some male attention. Even then though, I was acutely self conscious and didn't handle it well at all.
I ended up dating people I never should have dated - and marrying one of them, who abused me and our children for the next decade. If my self esteem had been healthier, I probably would never have dated him to begin with - but I was so flattered that someone actually approached me and WANTED me. So I married an abuser, who wreaked havoc on my home life - and destroyed my childrens' childhood - and I carry the guilt and remorse for putting them in that position, and having their only childhood devastated - to this day, in spite of the fact that I've divorced him and am happily remarried. That series of events created twenty years of hardship and heartbreak for my children and me.
There is often a lot more to people than "meets the eye."
But enough about me. Of course you've suffered - and apparently more than I have physically (not sure about emotionally - we don't know each other well enough to judge that in the other - and like I said, I've had plenty of other tragedies in my life and maybe you have too). You've also excelled in many areas.
What's that story about the guy who says, "I cried because I had no shoes - and then I met a man with no feet?" Not trying to minimize your experiences (at least not more than you minimized mine! ) because I do believe you have truly had some very difficult experiences and an ongoing struggle with (sorry) true physical unattractiveness due to your condition. That is a hard load to carry - and just the three years that I experienced that showed me how hard it is to deal with pain AND disfigurement.
But even so - some people would willingly trade places with you.
I DO consider myself lucky - more than that, unusually blessed. I thank God every day that I look in the mirror and remember what I did look like and see how I look today.
That doesn't negate the fact that I was a hot mess in high school - during prime "self esteem" years. My lips needed to be rebuilt. After the initial injuries "firmed up" my lips were misshapen and full of bumps of scar tissue and places where pieces were missing. My teeth couldn't be attached till 1) my mouth finished growing and 2) my gums healed - and parts of my gums in front were simply gone. So I had fake teeth that I had to take out in the restroom at school after I ate anything, in order to clean them, or my breath would stink. There was no private bathroom - I just had to stand at the sink and take them out and pray to God that no one walked in. Oh, and at night, I had to take them out and let them sit in a glass by my bed. So every morning, I woke up toothless. It may not sound like much, but believe me, it leaves an impression on a young girl.
I also had heavy scarring across my chin, which basically had to stay there till other more urgent matters were addressed (like my gums and teeth). So - finally when I was 18, I had the first round of dermabrasion, which had to go pretty deep. So - I had to go to school with my chin completely raw - I couldn't put a bandage over it because it needed air, and I couldn't miss any more school.
Not pretty. I had to go through several rounds of that.
Now - I know people have had it worse - a LOT worse. You, for instance. But what I went through was tough for a young girl in high school.
I handled it with humor - laughed it off, made fun of myself, etc (and then went home and cried). But the humor helped - and in spite of the trauma to my face, I did have a few dates in high school - all of them guys who were "friends." Only after I went off to college, where people didn't know about the wreck and apparently didn't have mental images of me "in process" and were seeing me for the first time, did I start to get some male attention. Even then though, I was acutely self conscious and didn't handle it well at all.
I ended up dating people I never should have dated - and marrying one of them, who abused me and our children for the next decade. If my self esteem had been healthier, I probably would never have dated him to begin with - but I was so flattered that someone actually approached me and WANTED me.
There is often a lot more to people than "meets the eye."
But enough about me. Of course you've suffered - and apparently more than I have physically (not sure about emotionally - we don't know each other well enough to judge that in the other - and like I said, I've had plenty of other tragedies in my life and maybe you have too). You've also excelled in many areas.
What's that story about the guy who says, "I cried because I had no shoes - and then I met a man with no feet?" Not trying to minimize your experiences (at least not more than you minimized mine! ) because I do believe you have truly had some very difficult experiences and an ongoing struggle with (sorry) true physical unattractiveness due to your condition. That is a hard load to carry - and just the three years that I experienced that showed me how hard it is to deal with pain AND disfigurement.
But even so - some people would willingly trade places with you.
There's so much pain and sorrow in this world.
Agreed. And I consider myself lucky that I'm able to walk (I should be in a wheelchair, and will likely be in one in the next 20 years, and it's looking like I'll have to have my right hip replaced in the next 10, with a possibility of the left one following shortly after). You have a lot to look forward to, I simply don't. I'll continue working and trying to do as much stuff as I can before I'm confined to a wheelchair for the rest of my life. I do feel lucky that I'm able to experience this because a good friend of mine has been in a chair since birth.
But it does suck KNOWING that all of that is waiting for me and there isn't a thing I can do to stop it. If I can't get a date now, imagine a 35 year old with two fake hips in a wheelchair. There's not much for me to look forward to, to be honest. I'm hoping to get my Masters in Engineering so at least I'll be able to do something I love.
I was recently told I have to have a pin put in my hip because it's cracking so that's probably why I'm so irritated right now.
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) because I do believe you have truly had some very difficult experiences and an ongoing struggle with (sorry) true physical unattractiveness due to your condition. That is a hard load to carry - and just the three years that I experienced that showed me how hard it is to deal with pain AND disfigurement. 
