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He said in an earlier thread that he's in his 40's. That's an old pic.
Still though, like I said, it's never too late. You're still young enough to meet an awesome girl and start a family. Just think: you could be coming to this conclusion in your 80's.
The profile pic is 3 years old. In my photo folder, the pics are from this year. BTW, I am still in my early 40s.
hm... and he said he rarely runs into women in his age-range? But Brahmabull said whenever he checks out meet-up groups, yoga, and so many other activities people have suggested, it's all women in their 30's and 40's. And if I'm not mistaken, Data and B-bull live in the same state, maybe not far from each other.
Maybe they should join the same excuse-brigade. Data, how hard are you actually trying to meet women? It sounds like you gave up long ago.
Obviously, Brahmabull and I need to trade interests so that we can be in the appropriate interest groups. During the past several years, I have tried on-line dating a few times, but I never had any success. The ladies who I was interested in never replied to messages. The ladies who contacted me had stopped taking care of themselves a long time ago.
By the way, I'll change my profile pic to one from last month. (although at my age, three years ago seems very recent).
OP, this is another guy that I see post often, but gives a weird vibe. I'd take anything he has to say with a grain of salt.
Weird vibe? More of a practical one. Gone to HS and college? I'm sure you have. Seen all the 'hot' chicks you and all the others are salivating over to date? I'm sure you have. Then, you find out that that's all there is: they're hot, and not much else. You might also date somebody "eh" in hotness and find out they're terrible in the sack, after some wining and dining. Now that's a drag. So, find that out quickly, and move on. Also, wait for a couple of reunions and check out Facebook over the years, and can you say "hit the wall?" There's nothing weird going on. I've seen a lot of these stories and situations. I have always sat back, scoped out a situation, and proceeded only if really interested. In fact, some of them got to like me even more - because they though I was interesting, and for some, I wasn't enough of a conformist. It didn't make for high numbers, but it made for longer-term situations with fewer girls. Now, that, to me, is normal. Sorry we don't agree.
Weird vibe? More of a practical one. Gone to HS and college? I'm sure you have. Seen all the 'hot' chicks you and all the others are salivating over to date? I'm sure you have. Then, you find out that that's all there is: they're hot, and not much else. You might also date somebody "eh" in hotness and find out they're terrible in the sack, after some wining and dining. Now that's a drag. So, find that out quickly, and move on. Also, wait for a couple of reunions and check out Facebook over the years, and can you say "hit the wall?" There's nothing weird going on. I've seen a lot of these stories and situations. I have always sat back, scoped out a situation, and proceeded only if really interested. In fact, some of them got to like me even more - because they though I was interesting, and for some, I wasn't enough of a conformist. It didn't make for high numbers, but it made for longer-term situations with fewer girls. Now, that, to me, is normal. Sorry we don't agree.
But you're basically encouraging guys not to go out and approach, when women are everywhere. I encourage guys to go out to bars and clubs because there are A LOT of girls. If a guy goes out 2 or 3 nights a week for 3 months, approaches all night, and has normal social skills to begin with, he WILL find a girlfriend.
Also, why do you assume that hot girls have nothing goin on besides their looks? I've dated plenty that are smart, interesting, kind people.
Hmmm is it possible that you dont know as much about life as you think?
Also, why do you assume that hot girls have nothing goin on besides their looks? I've dated plenty that are smart, interesting, kind people.
Hmmm is it possible that you dont know as much about life as you think?
It's about what works, or has worked, for me. You don't have to make judgment calls. I believe in a longer "interview" period. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 12-13-2012 at 01:14 PM..
Reason: syntax/order
It's about what works, or has worked, for me. You don't have to make judgment calls. I believe in a longer "interview" period. Nothing more. Nothing less.
I just got unsigned negative rep on this and it SMELLS just like the comments on the Ft. Knox joke surrounding LinkedIn, where she told me that I would not want to hear how I was viewed. It means it SMELLS like the same poster, with the same type of rep construction. So, if you have HIT THE WALL, please, your rep is not wanted. And no one cares about how much work it is to score with HIT THE WALL types, since I'm off the market and/or don't want to buy one more than a cup of coffee and buy myself a "raincoat." And to the anonymous poster, put it where the sun don't shine, ok? You are easy to figure out. You linger longer, as if something is simmering, waiting to make an attack. YOU are creepy ... and unhappy. This is indicative of a really problematic personality underneath.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 12-15-2012 at 09:20 AM..
Kind of on the topic...I've mentioned a friend on here a few times who jumps from relationship to relationship. She had 3 different boyfriends (official) while pregnant with another man's child. She recently moved to Texas and within 2 months is already on her second boyfriend. Her child is 4 months old now, I believe. Judging by his FB profile, she's picked yet another real winner.
Some people just can't be without a boyfriend/girlfriend. You'd think she'd want to take some time off to raise her child and get out of her grandparents house, but nope.
Okay. Your post isn't all that hard to dissect. If I've heard one guy say essentially what you have, I've heard a hundred. You're not unique. Your complaints are practically out of a script. So here's the skinny.
1) People who find relationships easily do so because they have cultivated good people skills. One of the great fallacies out there is the belief that either one is a born conversationalist or one is not. Conversation is an art, one that has to be developed in you. Yes, some people begin life better at it than others, but it's a skill that has to be developed in all of us.
2) Work on making yourself a more attractive person, physically and from a personality standpoint. The poet Ovid once wrote, "To be loved, you must first be lovable."
3) You basically pined away for this girl who lived away, anticipating how this one dinner date was going to clinch the deal. But now you've found out that she's committed. What? Are there no other women in Southern California? Look, man, it's a numbers game. You live in a part of the country that's practically awash in attractive, intelligent, funny, and lively women and you are standing around waiting for some girl to come home from college? In that sense, romantic interests have to be tried on for size. I mean, how do you know that there isn't some boffo woman out there they you keep overlooking, all because you have your sights set on some girl who is already involved hundreds of miles away.
And even if you scored the dinner date, what then? Were you going to embark on a whirlwind courtship? Were you going to demand that she squeeze you in between opening presents, family get togethers, and reunions with other friends? You really ask a lot of someone during a two-week visit home. Trust me. A full-court press is a really bad way to spark a romance.
4) Nobody likes a whiner. Just reading phrases in your post such as "I'm starting to think that I will be alone forever" make me think that you wallow in self-pity. The fact that your friends are telling you that there are plenty of fish in the sea tells me that you've complained about this a lot.
5) Want to know what women like? Women like a man who embraces life. Women like a man who doesn't look upon women as the end-all, be-all key to his personal happiness. Women like a man who looks them in the eye and converses with her as if she's a real flesh-and-blood person, not some neo-platonic ideal of a fertility goddess up on a pedestal. Women like a man who likes them but isn't so impressed that he'll put up with their bullish*t. Women like a man who isn't just seeing them as a potential bedmate, a life support system for boobs and a vagina, but still sees them as a person with thoughts, beliefs, and a personality all her own.
6) I mean, dude, the biggest clue can be found in the title of this thread. The very word 'mate' implies that you're not even remotely interested in getting to know a woman or just having a fun relationship. Instead, you're wanting to close the deal in the speediest fashion possible. It reeks of desperation, the kind that women can smell a mile away. A woman is not a beautiful bird that you're trying to capture and put in a cage. She's a living, breathing person who, at your age, is wanting to enjoy her youth and life's possibilities. The last thing she wants is to be shackled to a self-pitying schlub.
but it seems like the overwhelming, vast majority of guys, men, are naturally, instinctively born with the social-skills, conversation-skills, people-skills, "game", in order to get a girlfriend, as in they were successfull at attracting, pulling girls since high school
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