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The one where, the woman never has to overly remind him ''Where is this going'', put ultimatums nor has to break up first to then get him to change his mind and go after her with the ring.
The one that does it because he wants it too, out of his free will. I've been hearing more stories on another forums at 3 more women having the same problem. They are stuck with someone that at first was on the same page, they made the mistake of living together and suddenly they become another ''forever live-in gf''.
I believe that if I had to nag a man to fully commit to me, then it's not worth my time because if he then gives in, I wouldn't feel it's an honest and sincere proposal. But it's like that's the case most of times: he has to be reminded in order for it to happen.
Those stories sometimes make me lose hope. Though I'm not interested in kids, I still one day want a true, sincere proposal...not one where I had to nag to get it (childfree marriage is what I'm looking for). I don't like begging to get something but I wouldn't like waiting endless years either.
BTW I just posted my a recent picture of me in Christmas. I haven't gotten hit on that much in my younger years and only been in one relationship (now I'm 25). I think I'm just average in looks. Can this play a role in not finding the one yet??
Maybe you just haven't found that special someone who knows what they want, who they are, and are at the place in their life where they are able to emotionally commit to you in that way?
I know guys who are marriage minded, but even if they are, they don't quite know what they want, and what they think they want isn't exactly what they want, and what they want isn't exactly what's good for them.
In the end, isn't commitment about finding your match, and someone seeing eye-to-eye with you on the same level, so there is no need for that push/pull? Someone who bonds with you, will naturally gravitate and want to be marriage minded with you because they wouldn't want to lose what they share with you when they find it.
In a sense, I can see how convoluted people can be when they're bombarded by societal conventions and expectations, and/or aren't at that level of emotional maturity to really know what they want or what makes them happy. So I can see how there could be a phenomena going on here, especially with the state of the economy and people not being able to really financially be in that state of mind to feel secure enough to even think about marriage.
- Alimony: So if parents decide that one parent should cease earning for the sake of raising their children then a divorce occurs, the primary bread winner should not continue to support that parent for some period to regain their earning status?
Key word there is "regain". If a spouse can pick right up where they left off or better, then no need for alimony. Whether they left off at a high level or low level. What I hate is when one partner comes from nothing then expects to remain well off because they are now "accustomed" to it. Get unaccustomed to it.
This sounds like a guy who has a good chance of having a successful marriage, once he finds the girl. It sounds like he has his priorities straight--how refreshing!
He really does and I suspect he will find someone wonderful. I showed him many of the posts here and he rolled his eyes and confirmed to me that most were so wrong and delusional to what marriage is. I should get him to post sometime.
I have not seen a marriageable woman in a while, I don't really see the point of marriage nowadays (unless men don't know what to do with their money). Women still want all the benefits of a marriage but they don't want to accept responsibilities that used to come with that marriage. Women no longer are under pressure of higher powers to stick with and care for their men. Their compass is feeling of "love" burning in their chest, it's a duty of men to keep that fire burning (or at least provide desired financial and social status for her to take care of other things on the side). Today she "loves" you, tomorrow she feels that sensation is getting weaker (or your paycheck is getting lighter) and, thus, she's no longer under any obligation to you. Women expect their men to make more money (it's a must), always climb status ladder (a should), provide companionship and friendship (soul mating is a rage), be supportive (i.e. always do what she says but, at the same time, remain a man she could respect.), be a psychic, girlfriend and shrink in one package, satisfy her carnal needs, guess what a princess wants you to be today (an Alpha male or a malleable gentle boy...), make up for all the depravities of the world and immediate social/family environment.... In other words, marriage has become a second job for a man, the job that doesn't pay even minimum wage, frequently, the job doesn't pay anything, even cheap sex.
Modern marriage almost lost its original meaning and purpose. It has become so much more than a procreation and survival union of two humans. There are so many expectations on the woman's side, yet men cannot get their very modest (and quite stable) marriage wishes come true.
I've been proposed to twice. The ones you dont want are the ones who are marriage-minded.
True. This reminds me of online dating or even in real life dating where the guys I was repulsed by were the ones who wanted to marry me, buy me things and cater to me.
I have not seen a marriageable woman in a while, I don't really see the point of marriage nowadays (unless men don't know what to do with their money). Women still want all the benefits of a marriage but they don't want to accept responsibilities that used to come with that marriage. Women no longer are under pressure of higher powers to stick with and care for their men. Their compass is feeling of "love" burning in their chest, it's a duty of men to keep that fire burning (or at least provide desired financial and social status for her to take care of other things on the side). Today she "loves" you, tomorrow she feels that sensation is getting weaker (or your paycheck is getting lighter) and, thus, she's no longer under any obligation to you. Women expect their men to make more money (it's a must), always climb status ladder (a should), provide companionship and friendship (soul mating is a rage), be supportive (i.e. always do what she says but, at the same time, remain a man she could respect.), be a psychic, girlfriend and shrink in one package, satisfy her carnal needs, guess what a princess wants you to be today (an Alpha male or a malleable gentle boy...), make up for all the depravities of the world and immediate social/family environment.... In other words, marriage has become a second job for a man, the job that doesn't pay even minimum wage, frequently, the job doesn't pay anything, even cheap sex.
Modern marriage almost lost its original meaning and purpose. It has become so much more than a procreation and survival union of two humans. There are so many expectations on the woman's side, yet men cannot get their very modest (and quite stable) marriage wishes come true.
There's a thread going about men trying to decide how a woman will look 20 years from now based on other women in her family (now they can predict the future of a woman's looks apparently). Some women don't even look like their mothers -- how's that for mind blowing? The standards to which men hold women are so far flung and ridiculous, it's no wonder most of their marriages/relationships hit the skids. I can't beleive my eyes with some of the 'demands' they say on here. I would hardly call ANY of you all's expectations ''modest,' but men continue to perpetuate this idea that "we are just simple creatures" -- B.S. From what I can see they spend more time worried about their wallets and being deceived (by the woman they chose no less) then they do worried about the criteria by which they choose said woman in the first place. If they spent less time on petty crap and worrying about an "impending divorce and who's going to get what" maybe, just maybe, things would go decently for them.
Since when have men been "under the pressure to stick with and care for their women?" If they were, they sure aren't now....If women want all the benefits of marriage men want all the benefits (whatever those may be) as long as they can contribute as little as possible outside of having a job. According to them, women should just be happy to get whatever man they get, regardless of what kind of 'condition' he's in. That's laughable.
I don't know what world you live in but majority of grown women I come across are fully & gainfully employed, not waiting on some man to feed, cloth, and put a roof over their head . Most of them have this already in place from the jump. The "Scarlet O' Hara types' are few and far between but to let these men tell it, most grown women fit that type, LOL. I get tired of hearing these men blame 'the institution of marriage' for the downfall of men when the problem is really the women they choose to marry in the first damn place.
I think marriage is a really unattractive proposition for men in today's society. Why? Because marriage has so little to offer men now. Once upon a time having a wife meant having someone to care for your children while at work, someone to clean, someone to cook, someone to encourage you, someone to have sex with, basically someone to help you out and make life more enjoyable and easy. But now, wives aren't really helpers, they're quite the opposite.
True. This reminds me of online dating or even in real life dating where the guys I was repulsed by were the ones who wanted to marry me, buy me things and cater to me.
So true.
The ones who I was repulsed by were pretty marriage-minded. I wonder if there can be a balance, because I sure hope there is- meaning, both people are mutually marriage-minded.
Marriage-minded in a clear state of mind seems more appropriate when neither parties are doing it out of need or desperation (like infatuation and unrequited love, social expt.), but out of want (friendship and liking, personal choice) is cool..
Does this mean I should either just give up and stay single or only focus on dating forever? At times I'm really close to giving up.
I mean, I'm making it easier by not wanting kids. I would sign a prep-nup if he terribly distrusts me and thinks I'm desperately after his money.
I don't understand people who say they don't want kids, but still want to get married. Whats the point? The ONLY reason why I would ever get married is because I do want to have kids one day, and I believe thats the best way to raise kids.
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. Most of them have this already in place from the jump. The "Scarlet O' Hara types' are few and far between but to let these men tell it, most grown women fit that type, LOL. I get tired of hearing these men blame 'the institution of marriage' for the downfall of men when the problem is really the women they choose to marry in the first damn place.
