Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I never said that, of course if its a case of the man abusing the women or kids or vice versa, then the two people involed shouldn't stay married, that's not a healthy household. By the way, I love the status on your profile, couldn't agreee more.
Sorry I didn't mean to imply that I was accusing you
Well, considering that around 80% of all men, at least in the US, get married at least once during their lifetime...I'd say that a solid majority of men today ARE marriage-minded. Probably two-thirds to three-quarters of men. However, there is a difference between being marriage-minded, and actually being truly ready for marriage.
Whose judicial system are we speaking of? In much of the US, alimony is determined by who made more money during the marriage and has a time limit. In much of the US, custody defaults to 50/50.
Change is slow in coming everywhere, but it is coming. THAT is what needs to change, the law. But despite the Mr Grumpy pants here, most men still do want love and commitment.
Way to miss the point. Where did I say most men don't want love or commitment? I think most men do. That's not the issue. That's not the point. That's not the problem. I don't think I can spell it out any better than I did.
And you might want to get out more. Custody does not default to 50/50 in the US. I know more divorced people with kids than I have fingers and toes. None of which have 50/50. And in some cases, the mothers are clearly unfit to have custody, yet have sole custody despite the father proving that his ex wife is a drug addict who can't hold a job or stay out of trouble. That's how bad it is in Texas. The judicial system still gives woman the benefit of the doubt and assumes they are the victims who get taken advantage of.
I know a man that was offered 50/50 custody or the mother gets full custody and he had every reason under the sun as to why he couldn't take his son part time, let alone full time. So he had no problem then giving her full custody....Men love to carry on about 'visitation' and 'not getting full custody' as if overall, they are really into getting those things in the first place & just dying because they don't get it. LOL. Who do they think they are fooling with that? Sure, they really want full custody of the child, yea right.
Last edited by Doll Eyes; 01-05-2013 at 01:03 AM..
I know a man that was offered 50/50 custody or the mother gets full custody and he had every reason under the sun as to why he couldn't take his son part time, let alone full time. So he had no problem then giving her full custody....Men love to carry on about 'visitation' and 'not getting full custody' as if overall, they are really into getting those things in the first place & just dying because they don't get it. LOL. Who do they think they are fooling with that? Sure, they really want full custody of the child, yea right.
I grew up with a father that was divorced from my mom when I was 2. He did everything he could to stay in my life while my mom got married to the person she was cheating with. He drove 2.5 hrs every Friday night to see me, and left at 3:30am every Monday morning to bring me home in time for school. He is the reason that I want to have children in this twisted world.
I grew up with a father that was divorced from my mom when I was 2. He did everything he could to stay in my life while my mom got married to the person she was cheating with. He drove 2.5 hrs every Friday night to see me, and left at 3:30am every Monday morning to bring me home in time for school. He is the reason that I want to have children in this twisted world.
Child support shouldn't exist in 50/50 custody situations. There's no need for money transfers if you are actually RAISING your child as much as the other parent.
Music / tennis lessons, etc would be paid directly to the source by the parent who wants the child enrolled in this activity. Wealth has nothing to do with this scenario, since wealthy parents can and do decide not to enroll their kids in certain activities. Health matters can be determined at the time of the 50/50 custody agreement.
I am in favor of child support only if a parent turns down equal custody. It should be mandated for those who want it and there aren't signs of abuse.
You haven't explained what 50/50 custody has to do with the ability of each parent to contribute to expenses. If there is to be no money transfer that means the wealthier parent needs to be putting in a lot of work to engage in each and every activiy related to the kid so he can pay. Even in married families women typically take kids clothes shopping etc. more than men y do. Are you saying that the wealthier parent is going to conduct all of these transactions so that there is no need for money transfer......I doubt it.
True. This reminds me of online dating or even in real life dating where the guys I was repulsed by were the ones who wanted to marry me , buy me things and cater to me.
Women's horror stories win, hands down, if you want to go there. Some women barely survive marriage, in fact, some don't. Some end up dead. Do we really want to go down the horror-story path?
Please, there is no more vindictive creature than a woman who thinks she doesn't get her share of as seen on Oprah family/relationship paradise. A few women (I know of, it's not "internet") literally had no brakes, they know that law is always on their side, some of them would throw any object with all what they've got (it's just matter of luck it wouldn't inflict serious injury), some would kick, scream and fight (much stronger males), a foolish man who just held her hands (to save his face) for her to calm down was reported as a violent domestic abuser and locked up. I would presume some do kill their men. As laws goes, as soon as a female starts to act up, scream, throw things (to worm up herself for more physical action) a man should just leave (and call some witness for that). Laws are so absurd and skewed towards "weak & vulnerable" females, it encourages the most nasty of them to drag their mates through legal (and very expensive) hell.
If men would only report every single act of domestic violence (the same way women report) I have a hunch that female violence would outnumber male violence 2 to 1.
Wow that sucks. The only 3 reasons I would ever think of divorcing a man is:
1) He cheats physically (emotionally cheating can maybe be worked out once but not him having sex or doing anything sexual with someone else).
2) He becomes abusive and tries to hit me or does it
3) He has a serious addiction and it has greatly affected our sex life as well as other areas (social life, workplace, etc.) and he refuses to get help
Other than that, anything can be worked out.
maybe it's off topic, but i think you'll find that the definitions of these words -- particularly 'addiction' and 'abuse' -- can and will be stretched to accomodate pre-determined choices.
in other words: "he yelled at me one time 9 years ago, that's verbal abuse and that gives me a clear conscience to divorce him."
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
