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How do you mandate joint custody for those who really don't wish for it. Child support and joint custody are two different issues.....
Why should child support be negligible? Does that mean one party would have to rely more heavily on government programs like the free/reduced school lunch program and food stamps. In some cases, where the men pay almost no child support, this is what happens. If child support is negligible, does that mean the wealthier party has no expectation of contributing to things like music lessons, orthodontics, tennis lessons, etc., if he doesn't see them as necessary.......
...... Why wouldn't you expect a person to fully contribute to child support though, instead of it being negligible?
Child support shouldn't exist in 50/50 custody situations. There's no need for money transfers if you are actually RAISING your child as much as the other parent.
Music / tennis lessons, etc would be paid directly to the source by the parent who wants the child enrolled in this activity. Wealth has nothing to do with this scenario, since wealthy parents can and do decide not to enroll their kids in certain activities. Health matters can be determined at the time of the 50/50 custody agreement.
I am in favor of child support only if a parent turns down equal custody. It should be mandated for those who want it and there aren't signs of abuse.
The one who didn't have a prenup if they were concerned about assets more than choosing a spouse wisely.
Let's assume a prenup is not in play here. Use any reason you like: both didn't have a prenup, or the judge threw it out, etc. My point still stands.
Choosing a spouse wisely is an easily thrown out line on this forum, but I don't buy it because no one is capable of not being fooled 100% of the time. Can one make wise choices that minimize the possibilities, sure! But your advice is nowhere near guaranteed for those who want to marry with the peace of mind of not losing everything plus a new high monthly bill, all because one person unilaterally decided to exit the marriage.
I've seen more than enough smart people who were fooled by very sweet, romantic, thoughtful liars and cheaters who were good at covering their tracks. Also, some people simply change and you can't "choose wisely" for unforeseen changes 10 years down the line.
You marry someone because you love them that comes first & you can see spending the rest of your life with them. Sure, you talking about the possibilities of having children at some point & if the other party is interested but that's not THE reason to get married. Marriage isn't about what you want it's about wanting to share your life with said person & be committed to them & them alone. No, you don’t have to be married to be committed to them to show them how much you love them, a piece of paper isn't going to change that. Sorry I can't agree that being married is the only & best way to raise children there are some awesome single parents out there who raise their kids just fine.
Of course there is always the exception to the rule, but statistics clearly show that children do much better in married households as oppsed to single parent households.
"Children raised in intact married families:
are more likely to attend college
are physically and emotionally healthier
are less likely to be physically or sexually abused
are less likely to use drugs or alcohol and to commit delinquent behaviors
have a decreased risk of divorcing when they get married
are less likely to become pregnant/impregnate someone as a teenager"
As far as the rest of your post, its asinine to think that you have to be married to somebody to be "committed"(like being married stops people from cheating) or "share" the rest of your life with.
Let's assume a prenup is not in play here. Use any reason you like: both didn't have a prenup, or the judge threw it out, etc. My point still stands.
Choosing a spouse wisely is an easily thrown out line on this forum, but I don't buy it because no one is capable of not being fooled 100% of the time. Can one make wise choices that minimize the possibilities, sure! But your advice is nowhere near guaranteed for those who want to marry with the peace of mind of not losing everything plus a new high monthly bill, all because one person unilaterally decided to exit the marriage.
I've seen more than enough smart people who were fooled by very sweet, romantic, thoughtful liars and cheaters who were good at covering their tracks. Also, some people simply change and you can't "choose wisely" for unforeseen changes 10 years down the line.
There are tricksters out there and people do get fooled. Any time you invite another person into your life, you take your chances.
I definitely don't go around trying to find "the one". I just date who I wanna date and do what I want. If marriage is meant to be in my life then it'll happen at some point. If not, then cool, more pizza for me.
There are tricksters out there and people do get fooled. Any time you invite another person into your life, you take your chances.
You're right. Therefore, I prefer to insure against my losses by not combining assets or legal entities with anyone. That goes for both business and personal situations. For me, that means marriage licenses are off the table, but committment ceremonies are definitely good to go! (Beware if one's in a common law marriage state).
I've met too many business clients who went into their retirement age poor because of divorce. I don't want to join them, especially since I have a lot at stake.
You're right. Therefore, I prefer to insure against my losses by not combining assets or legal entities with anyone. That goes for both business and personal situations. For me, that means marriage licenses are off the table, but committment ceremonies are definitely good to go! (Beware if one's in a common law marriage state).
I've met too many business clients who went into their retirement age poor because of divorce. I don't want to join them, especially since I have a lot at stake.
No problem with that. If your main goals include stability and maintaining what you've worked hard for, a loving partner will understand and support that. If you're open and honest "my life plans include a committed LTR with no combining of assets," then you will allow potential mates to decide if their life goals include that as well.
Of course there is always the exception to the rule, but statistics clearly show that children do much better in married households as oppsed to single parent households.
"Children raised in intact married families:
are more likely to attend college
are physically and emotionally healthier
are less likely to be physically or sexually abused
are less likely to use drugs or alcohol and to commit delinquent behaviors
have a decreased risk of divorcing when they get married
are less likely to become pregnant/impregnate someone as a teenager"
As far as the rest of your post, its asinine to think that you have to be married to somebody to be "committed"(like being married stops people from cheating) or "share" the rest of your life with.
I'd like to see a site that isn't faith based that supports these claims. I really dislike the thought that people should stay married because of the children. My dad beat the crap out of my mom on a almost daily, IF she would of stayed with him sooner or later he would of beat her to death There are some people who believe that little piece of paper keeps them from cheating or leaving the marriage.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom123
Based on your explanation, that's not even close to 50/50. Add up the days. Out of 9 months, your dad had 36 days and your mom had 234. Even if your dad had the entire summer, that's still only 126 to 234.
That's the typical every other weekend "visitation with Dad" plus a few summer weeks thrown in that masquerades as "joint custody" these days. It's more difficult to have a consistent influence in your child's life if you're getting the short end of that scenario.
After a little research, it appears my situation was more legally a joint custody agreement. I think a 50/50 custody agreement would wreak havoc in a kid's life if the parents live in different towns.
I'd like to see a site that isn't faith based that supports these claims. I really dislike the thought that people should stay married because of the children. My dad beat the crap out of my mom on a almost daily, IF she would of stayed with him sooner or later he would of beat her to death There are some people who believe that little piece of paper keeps them from cheating or leaving the marriage.
I never said that, of course if its a case of the man abusing the women or kids or vice versa, then the two people involed shouldn't stay married, that's not a healthy household. By the way, I love the status on your profile, couldn't agreee more.
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(Beware if one's in a common law marriage state).
