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Not every single mom can rationalize between a good relationship and a bad one. I swear, I see more fall into bad relationships with guys. When I was online, I saw a plethora of women who were pregnant trying to get a date, or had a kid and were pregnant again with another guy. I just don't understand and these women can still get guys. They may not get a good guy, but they are still getting numbers.
I'm definitely not complaining, since I'm not going to settle for something that isn't right for me; however, it can get frustrating at times. Seeing someone who has potential to make a good friend or girlfriend continue to settle for bad guys just because they feel the rush of emotion with them. The rush of emotion clouds the ability to think clearly. My friend even said she noticed the red flags, but ignored them, because her guy was always wanting to be with her.
My latest relationship was absolutely perfect on paper, but after 4 months, I never had the desire to sleep with her and I never felt the desire to be intimate either. That was a hard one to end, because we were perfect like a business deal, but awful due to no passion. That was my first relationship in a year, so I'll look to date for another year before getting into another relationship. I tend to have long gaps of singledom.
Lol I understand what your saying I swear I know people who have like 4/5 kids and they're only a year or so older than me, these females have kids to like 3 different dads and are with a totally knew guy!! I don't understand that at all where the hell do these people find each other lol.
I've met guys who I knows would be a good partner, good person,great job etc but I've felt nothing towards them so I have never accepted a date as its unfair to lead someone on especially if I genuinely care for them but just don't feel any sexual attraction towards them. Then you have guys I've felt extremely attracted too but know we wouldn't work long term so I've avoided that too. A happy medium would be nice lol but I'm sure that's what everyone's looking for.
I sort of got back with my ex after I had Laeton it was more out of convince on both parts we're best friends and at the time I needed a friend I could trust and we always got along great just not in a relationship. I use to see him like once a week sometimes every few weeks we would go for dinner, go to the cinema etc but he was never around my son. I knew nothing would come out of it but at the time we needed each others company other than him I've not been involved with anyone else and me and him and still best trends are speak daily....... I've pretty much been on my own for 3years well just over it I feel like I have the balance correct now I know I'm a good mum and for the past 2 and a half years that's what I've concentrated on so now I'm opened to the idea of dating again I just hope I'm a good judge of character
What if you met someone sooner would you consider a relationship or is your year gap necessary ?
Lol I understand what your saying I swear I know people who have like 4/5 kids and they're only a year or so older than me, these females have kids to like 3 different dads and are with a totally knew guy!! I don't understand that at all where the hell do these people find each other lol.
I've met guys who I knows would be a good partner, good person,great job etc but I've felt nothing towards them so I have never accepted a date as its unfair to lead someone on especially if I genuinely care for them but just don't feel any sexual attraction towards them. Then you have guys I've felt extremely attracted too but know we wouldn't work long term so I've avoided that too. A happy medium would be nice lol but I'm sure that's what everyone's looking for.
I sort of got back with my ex after I had Laeton it was more out of convince on both parts we're best friends and at the time I needed a friend I could trust and we always got along great just not in a relationship. I use to see him like once a week sometimes every few weeks we would go for dinner, go to the cinema etc but he was never around my son. I knew nothing would come out of it but at the time we needed each others company other than him I've not been involved with anyone else and me and him and still best trends are speak daily....... I've pretty much been on my own for 3years well just over it I feel like I have the balance correct now I know I'm a good mum and for the past 2 and a half years that's what I've concentrated on so now I'm opened to the idea of dating again I just hope I'm a good judge of character
What if you met someone sooner would you consider a relationship or is your year gap necessary ?
The gap isn't necessary at all. It's just always happened that way. I've been on a slew of dates over the last 2 or 3 years, where I feel I was more of someone's time occupier than actually a potential friend or partner. This is what I'm up against in my area, which is why I hate the coined saying of "there's always more fish in the sea." There's always more fish, but I have no desire to try every fish in the sea either!
I spent sometime getting myself to where I am now, and now that I feel I'm seriously ready for something to happen, there's really nothing there. I had much better luck when my life was a downward spiral and I really wasn't focusing on anything of substance. I've never stopped working on myself either. This year, my goal is to pay off a couple of debts and purchase a home.
As time continues to pass and I keep obtaining more and more on my own, I'm going to be worried that I won't want to share anything I've accomplished with anyone else. It's bad taste indeed, but it's hard to let someone in when they did nothing to help you get there. I'm looking for someone who can make me a better person and that's a hard one to make right. With no kids and no ex girlfriend drama, I don't have anything in my life that needs "fixing." I'm not trying to say single moms need fixing, but I think it's how they are viewed often by sweeping generalizations.
I also have a major issue with not letting people help me. I don't mind helping someone else and expect nothing in return, but I'm not a big fan of someone doing something special for me, unless I ask for it. I think being abandoned by my Father created this whole I need to be self-sufficent persona that I harp on a lot.....
The gap isn't necessary at all. It's just always happened that way. I've been on a slew of dates over the last 2 or 3 years, where I feel I was more of someone's time occupier than actually a potential friend or partner. This is what I'm up against in my area, which is why I hate the coined saying of "there's always more fish in the sea." There's always more fish, but I have no desire to try every fish in the sea either!
Very funny but true I feel the same lol.
I spent sometime getting myself to where I am now, and now that I feel I'm seriously ready for something to happen, there's really nothing there. I had much better luck when my life was a downward spiral and I really wasn't focusing on anything of substance. I've never stopped working on myself either. This year, my goal is to pay off a couple of debts and purchase a home.
As time continues to pass and I keep obtaining more and more on my own, I'm going to be worried that I won't want to share anything I've accomplished with anyone else. It's bad taste indeed, but it's hard to let someone in when they did nothing to help you get there. I'm looking for someone who can make me a better person and that's a hard one to make right. With no kids and no ex girlfriend drama, I don't have anything in my life that needs "fixing." I'm not trying to say single moms need fixing, but I think it's how they are viewed often by sweeping generalizations.
I also have a major issue with not letting people help me. I don't mind helping someone else and expect nothing in return, but I'm not a big fan of someone doing something special for me, unless I ask for it. I think being abandoned by my Father created this whole I need to be self-sufficent persona that I harp on a lot.....
I don't like accepting help as I feel a lot of the time it can be thrown back in your face which is something I do not want to happen to me. I don't go out without my son as I feel having my parents look after him will only be thrown back at me or used against me at the later date.
Ideally I'd like to be finished school when I meet someone although I know that might not be the case, I don't want anyone to feel they're financially responsible for me or feel they have to be. going back to school and working I feel that it would possibly cause more hassle than its worth if I was to get into a relationship. I'm very independent and want to be able to stand on my own with support from anyone hence the reason I'm going back to study. I personally don't think I need fixing however I would need a potential partner to be patient with me.
I understand where your coming from it would be hard to let someone in and share your life with them if you've did everything on your own but if its the right person then they will only better you as a person and bring just as much to the table as you.
I worry about my son with this issue, I just don't know how I could possibly explain that his "father" though he was too young for a child therefore left him......I don't understand how any parent could do this knowing how much you love your child it's impossible to understand. I do try my best to make up for the fact he only has me but I know I can't. I'd rather he only had me though than a waste of space of a father.
I think it's great that you're not willing to settle. Like I said you can't blame guys who don't want to date women with children, but there are still good guys out there who won't mind. I don't have children and I still can't find any decent guys! I have a FB friend who recently got divorced (actually I don't think it's even final yet) and she's already found a new boyfriend and is gushing about him and posting tons of pictures on FB. She has a small daughter and I think it's pretty gross to have this guy over spending the night after only a couple weeks. What kind of example is that? Women like that find guys because they have no standards and anyone with a pulse who is willing to date them will do just fine. Stick to having standards and I'm sure you will find a good guy who loves you and loves your son too.
I think it's great that you're not willing to settle. Like I said you can't blame guys who don't want to date women with children, but there are still good guys out there who won't mind. I don't have children and I still can't find any decent guys! I have a FB friend who recently got divorced (actually I don't think it's even final yet) and she's already found a new boyfriend and is gushing about him and posting tons of pictures on FB. She has a small daughter and I think it's pretty gross to have this guy over spending the night after only a couple weeks. What kind of example is that? Women like that find guys because they have no standards and anyone with a pulse who is willing to date them will do just fine. Stick to having standards and I'm sure you will find a good guy who loves you and loves your son too.
Woman like you is PATHETIC and SELFISH, you never really took consideration of your kid's well being! what if you kid wants a dad?? You have brutally deprived his/her basic huamanright for being a single monther by choice!! You said you don't wish to take any money from him, becacuse you are a proud woman who can take care the kid by yourself, lol. just because you had kids with a douchebag doesn't make you a good person, and your poor decision does tell people some of your abnormal personality traits. How rich you are? Do you have a six figures job? raising a kid today ( in a health way) is very expensive!
I am a Chinese single professional male, I make about 4K a month and I definitely wouldn't have kids without my parents financial assistance. My girlfriend is a smart, beautiful and respectable Jewish lady, she said she would never have kid before the marriage
He commented on something that she said, just because it was not positive doesn't mean he is not right and he is entitled to his opinion just as much as anyone else.
Not all women want a man to look after them financially, certainly not me anyways. I'm more than capable of looking after my son all on my own I don't need a man to spend his precious hard earned money on my son or myself......I don't understand how some men think like that? I mean don't you realise we have supported ourselves and children perfectly fine before you came along so what makes you think that's going to change?
My sons father made his decision not to be a dad while I was pregnant and no he does not pay for him. I do not wish to take any money off him, In my opinion money means nothing in comparison with a full time loving father.
You might be supporting yourself (and if so, good for you)but many single parents want a partner to help them support the kids. I see this ALL THE TIME in terms of dating where most of the men I have dated or knew did look at the income of the new woman so they could help ease the financial aspects. It is very wrong but common when it comes to dating parents. Because of this, childless people are often very leery of parents and can you blame them?
He commented on something that she said, just because it was not positive doesn't mean he is not right and he is entitled to his opinion just as much as anyone else.
Hope this white knight falls off his horse..
Just because you do not like me does not mean it's ok for you to bash someone who said something that needed to be said
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what if you kid wants a dad?? You have brutally deprived his/her basic huamanright for being a single monther by choice!! You said you don't wish to take any money from him, becacuse you are a proud woman who can take care the kid by yourself, lol. just because you had kids with a douchebag doesn't make you a good person, and your poor decision does tell people some of your abnormal personality traits. How rich you are? Do you have a six figures job? raising a kid today ( in a health way) is very expensive! 
