Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
GREAT POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. DAMM, I never thought of that and right now I am in a situation where I met a girl who really likes me and I have nothing to fall back on and use an excuse not to see her again. So now I am left with ignoring her or blocking her. But if I say from the door that I volunteer in the evenings and have other activities going on then I can always use that as something to fall back on
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS, I am about to change my profile right now
Lol. Glad I could help.
Just make sure you find out where she is going so you don't end up at the same place.
Moving right along...People who really choose (because it is a choice) to remain busy and/or make themselves busy just shouldn't try to entertain a serious, romantic relationship with non-busy people. Simple.
And non-busy people shouldn't get duped into believing they're gonna change a busy person's habits. It only has the possibility of changing or shifting IF you're Mr. or Ms./Mrs. Right.
I agree with some folks in here...
When it comes to OLD, "Busy," for mid 20s-late 30s, with no kids is more of a status or self-aggrandizing thing and a preemptive defense mechanism/distancing behavior, which is withdrawn only for a select few.
"Busy" for mothers with young children is BUSY... for real.
Busy for older women on the OLD market who remain the matriarch for the entire family is busy... for real.
The latter two I mentioned really have no reason to exaggerate their "busy-ness."
Excellent points. No need to broadcast... for people who are truly busy, their high level of busy will speak for itself.
After reading your comments in this thread, I'm concerned for you. For real.
Oh, and you average 10 posts a day, btw. More than 3500 a year in two years. How busy are you again?
Y'all are damn near flatlining me in this thread!
A lot of y'all don't know what busy is... frankly, if you have time to post several times a day throughout the course of the entire day. You're not really busy. Busy people don't have time to follow threads and make multiple postings throughout the day in real time, in 8-15 minute intervals on a damn city data forum.
Get real.
Never knew singles from CD were meeting... Learn something new everyday. She must have been one of the sane posters.
How long did y'all exchange messages/talk before deciding to meet?
As a mother of a young child who works full time... I agree with you that busy mothers ARE busy. It's like two jobs (and that's a lot of my dilemma). I seriously can't remember what it is I used to do that took up my time before my child .
But to be fair to people who post a lot, I post from work. I have to be there between certain hours and have to be in front of a computer. Some days I barely have time to breathe the incoming work is non-stop and other days I want to tear my eyes out of my sockets I am so bored (okay, maybe not THAT board). During those down times, I surf the web. Or at night, when it's late evening and I am unwinding, sometimes I get online too. I really can't go out and date during those times because I have to be sitting there at work, in case the phone rings or I get an e-mail to respond to or it's just late in the evening and I am tired from the long day (but not so tired I can't log in).
I don't have an issue with men dating multiple women--as long as there is no commitment to anyone (re: no cheating) that's fine. I never ran into it though. Seemed like most of the men I met didn't have anyone else and if I was going to be in the picture, then they needed a lot of time. The only other men I met who seemed to be able to make the time were 1) married (so I guess that's like dating multiple people, but that's a line I won't cross) 2) Jerks (I mean treated me mean, were insulting and otherwise unpleasant to be around) or 3) mentally or emotionally unstable (Guy who thought the world was going to end in a few months... guy who spent the entire date talking about how much he hated his ex-wife, etc).
I am not interested in all at a man who sleeps around or is into quickies. I'd date him, but I won't have sex with him. So in the end, what's the point?
That's why I stopped dating. Just couldn't find the quality of man I wanted with the time I had. Maybe I will get lucky and just randomly find someone, but for now, I put no effort into "putting myself out there."
Those time constraints are pesky. I had a discussion this weekend with the woman I'm seeing. Her schedule is rather difficult to work around. If she doesn't spend the night, we likely spend about 4-6 hours a week together. It's definitely not the most idle situation for most people. The other issue that came up is her current living and work situation. She's an assistant manager for a big box store and her general manager takes advantage of his associates. She works close to 50 hours a week with no added compensation, while he's on schedule for 45, and may work 30. He gets the big bonuses while she just gets the thank you.
Her living situation is rather tough too. While married they bought a house in the country that is about 30 minutes from her job and another 45 minutes from my place. Since she has children, she comes to my place and I've yet to go to hers. We have talked about that and it's just finding the time to make it happen. She wants to sell her house, but it will be a year before that happens. She also wants to get out from under her house before she can look into a job/career that allows for more time with her children.
It's difficult to date these days with time constraints. I was serious in the dating scene for the first time at 29 and I quickly realized it wasn't like dating in my early 20s. The woman I'm seeing said the same thing about dating before she was married. It seemed so effortless, but now with time constraints, you just can't date as effortlessly as we once did. In all honesty, I do miss how fun and casual dates were in my early 20s. As time has moved ahead the dating game has changed, and I've come to accept the new style (even though I don't like it all that much).
She feels guilty that she can't see her kids as much, because she has to work to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Then she feels guilty, because she would like to spend more time with me, but she can't. It's a situation to where we both take it day by day and enjoy the time that we do get to spend with each other. I cook her a meal once a week, so she can come over and relax. It has it's moments where it's difficult, but the reward is nice of us sharing a good laugh and a cuddle with each other.
Not necessarily. I have two jobs and make about $70K/yr. I know a physician with two jobs who makes about $250K/yr. This is fairly common these days.
I feel you if i was not in college I would be working two jobs. When I told my boss that he had the nerve to say i make a lot of money yea if it was the 1980s and according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics inflation calculator, for a person to have the same purchasing power in 2012 as a $100,000 income earner in 1980 did, he or she would need to earn nearly $279,000.
Because in case they don't like you, you make them mad, they found someone more interesting or whatever excuse they need to not see you any longer, they can ALWAYS fall back on the "remember I told you I was a busy person when we first started talking". It's just a easy out excuse set at the beginning of the interaction. Nobody is that busy. If you truly are that busy a relationship is the last thing you should be getting involved in. Its a easy excuse that doesn't require any explanation or FTF contact to explain anything.
People always want to show how exciting their life is how they're going places and having so much fun doing it. Sure there are some like that but to lots of people "I'm busy" translates to going online after work and complaining how they can't find a meaningful relationship.
The I'm busy changes to I'm available when they like you and find you to be what they are looking for at the time.
I was told the bold sentence several times. In the end, it was a way for them to date multiple people and not feel guilty. That's what I hated most about dating. I was more of a put all my eggs in one basket person. Since I had long time FWBs in my past and never took dating seriously, if I would have kept with that status quo; I would have never settled down with anyone. I had to draw the line in the sand myself in order to get what I wanted out of the dating process. I found myself in several situations where I had to "accept" that they were busy, but yet they would barely communicate 5 minutes a day. You just had to chalk it up to you aren't interesting enough for them and move on. It stinks, but there's nothing else that you can do.
So how much money do you supposed you need to make so you can retire comfortably?
To retire comfortably 2 million dollars so I can chill out in Belize or Italy or Panama.
To live Comfortably now at least 4,656 take home to 6k a month take home. It still might not be enough to live how I want . I plan on doing other things to make money on my days off . Since I will be working 12 days a month why not.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. 
