Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You mentioned men lying about their age. But it's a false equivalence. A man can't conceal his height. But a woman can lie about her age and you can't tell just by looking at her whether she's being truthful.
I suppose you are right about that. Especially if a you claim to be 6 ft. tall but are only about 5'4".
Now that you mention it, women can and regularly do intentionality deceive in many ways. The buy and wear bras that give false impressions of their breasts. They try masking their real face with tons of makeup. They put weaves in their hair or wear wigs. The even have jeans out that have false butt pads in them.
But men are the only ones that get accused of not being honest?
Quote:
And just because lying is commonplace doesn't make it excusable. Dating is all about trust. You meet someone, you want to know if they'll be straight with you. She asked me if I was religious. Her faith is important to her and I'm sure she's looking for someone similar. Should I have lied and said I'm a spiritual person even though I'm not? Sorry, but I believe in being straight with people. For all I know, she lost interest in me the moment she found out I was an atheist. But that's better than misleading her. Suppose I didn't I discover her real age. We started dating, it got serious, and then one day she confesses. Or vice versa, I let her think I was spiritual, we got serious, slept together, and then I said, "oh by the way, I lied when I said I believe in God." I guess lying has become so common in the world of dating that some people are willing to excuse it.
This sounds like a personal difference in how much we value this falsehood she gave. I'm not going to tell you that you are wrong for crossing her out or holding this against her. That's your prerogative and this evidently is something important to you.
For me, it's not that important, this small falsehood on her part. And I don't think I'm wrong for that. That is my prerogative as well. While I'm cognitive that if someone will lie about something small they will lie about something big, I don't think men raising their height by a little, or women lowering their age some, are meant maliciously. And I'm aware of the social or cultural pressures both feel.
By the way, I'm more likely to tell a woman I'm shorter than I am than tell her I'm taller than I am. If I was a billionaire I would probably project myself as on public assistance too. Maybe. Online I might. I would still drive the expensive car, and wear the expensive watch, out on the streets. But if caught in painters clothing I would tell a woman I was a house painter.
Spare me the false outrage. It's public information. It's not like I went snooping through her trash. People google each other all the time. It's not an invasion of privacy. And as I already explained, I had sufficient reason to doubt her honesty given her appearance and her earlier statements about how long she'd been married and divorced. Let me ask you this? Let's say the situation was reversed and I lied to her. If she suspected I was lying and decided to look me up on Google, which you still would be upset? I wouldn't. I wouldn't blame her one bit. But it seems like there's a double standard at work. A woman can look up information about a man, but if a man does it, he'll be vilified. Give me a break.
No, you didn't snoop through her trash. You were just opportunistic.
I think it would be just as shabby for her to do it to you.
Whether someone is lying has nothing to do with it. The ends don't justify the means. It's the premise of a neighbor looking up another neighbor after mistakenly being delivered the wrong mail that's distasteful. That's nosy.
But it's even worse when you said yourself you weren't interested in her. So if you weren't interested in her, why the interest in her private information? If I'm not interested in someone or sense something is off about him, I don't bother with him at all.
He's a stalker and she's a lier. It ain't gonna work. Lol
Pretty much!
I see no reason to lie to people. At this point, it's to my advantage to say, "I'm 46." Right off the bat if someone knows he wants kids, he can go somewhere else.
He's a stalker and she's a lier. It ain't gonna work. Lol
Look up the definition of stalker. I love how casually some people assign that term.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SD4020
Normally it is rude to google someone before or during their first date. Usually you wait intil your second or third date to "google" someone. Oh wait, you mean search someone on the internet... Well, that is simply doing your homework.
Explain that to Raena77. Apparently she doesn't know the difference between stalking and doing your homework.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestPhillyDude75
Women do this all time I believe
Exactly. In fact, one of the questions asked on OKCupid is "do you Google someone before going out with them?" The majority of women answered yes. I guess Raena77 would consider those women guilty of stalking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestPhillyDude75
No one should be googling anyone. People didn't do stuff like that in 1999
That's because we didn't have Google yet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Supine
This sounds like a personal difference in how much we value this falsehood she gave. I'm not going to tell you that you are wrong for crossing her out or holding this against her. That's your prerogative and this evidently is something important to you.
For me, it's not that important, this small falsehood on her part. And I don't think I'm wrong for that. That is my prerogative as well. While I'm cognitive that if someone will lie about something small they will lie about something big, I don't think men raising their height by a little, or women lowering their age some, are meant maliciously. And I'm aware of the social or cultural pressures both feel.
I don't consider this to be a small falsehood. If she was 40, but said she was 39, that wouldn't bother me. People tell little white lies all the time. But there's a big difference between "we're about the same age" and "I'm a decade older than you."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
No, you didn't snoop through her trash. You were just opportunistic.
I think it would be just as shabby for her to do it to you.
Whether someone is lying has nothing to do with it. The ends don't justify the means. It's the premise of a neighbor looking up another neighbor after mistakenly being delivered the wrong mail that's distasteful. That's nosy.
But it's even worse when you said yourself you weren't interested in her. So if you weren't interested in her, why the interest in her private information? If I'm not interested in someone or sense something is off about him, I don't bother with him at all.
Go back and read my previous post. I said I was interested, but that was BEFORE I discovered that she had lied. And BTW, there's nothing nosy about inquiring about someone you're interested in. People generally try to gather more information about people they have an interest in. Suppose I hadn't looked her up on Google, but instead just casually asked some other neighbors about her. "Hey there. Do you know the woman who lives across from you? Do you know if she has a boyfriend?" Is that being nosy? Of course not. These are questions people asked long before we ever had the Internet. All that's changed is that public information about you is now more readily available. Suppose she decided to look me up cause she was interested in me. Is she being nosy? No. Why? She's simply doing her homework on me.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Go back and read my previous post. I said I was interested, but that was BEFORE I discovered that she had lied. And BTW, there's nothing nosy about inquiring about someone you're interested in. People generally try to gather more information about people they have an interest in. Suppose I hadn't looked her up on Google, but instead just casually asked some other neighbors about her. "Hey there. Do you know the woman who lives across from you? Do you know if she has a boyfriend?" Is that being nosy? Of course not. These are questions people asked long before we ever had the Internet. All that's changed is that public information about you is now more readily available. Suppose she decided to look me up cause she was interested in me. Is she being nosy? No. Why? She's simply doing her homework on me.
