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I think it's very telling how some of the women on this thread are trying to change the subject. Perhaps i struck a nerve. Instead of addressing the original question, they're turning their focus on me. Oh the horror. This guy was interested in this woman and dared to actually look her up on the Internet to learn a little more about her. If a woman was interested in me and looked me up on the Internet, I wouldn't be offended. I wouldn't think she was being nosy. And I sure wouldn't accuse her of being of a stalker. Instead, I'd be flattered. Wow. This woman was interested enough in me that she actually decided to look me up. Stalking is no joking matter. I've known women who really did have stalkers, people who followed them to work, to their children's schools, etc. Shows how paranoid our culture has become where the simple act of typing someone's name in a search engine now qualifies as stalking. A guy I knew in high school who I lost touch with contacted me on LinkedIn last year. He was curious what I had been up to. How did he find me? Oh that's right. He entered my name into the search field and hit Enter. I guess I'd better call the cops. This guy is stalking me.
Go back and read my previous post. I said I was interested, but that was BEFORE I discovered that she had lied. And BTW, there's nothing nosy about inquiring about someone you're interested in. People generally try to gather more information about people they have an interest in. Suppose I hadn't looked her up on Google, but instead just casually asked some other neighbors about her. "Hey there. Do you know the woman who lives across from you? Do you know if she has a boyfriend?" Is that being nosy? Of course not.
This actually happened to me once, only the guy asked one of the people who worked in the rental office. When I came home from work, she saw me walking through the lobby and waved me into her office. "Do you know Joe? Older guy, about 50 [I was 39 at the time], about this tall [hand gesture]?"
"Oh, that guy. Sometimes I see him on the Metro in the morning."
"He's been asking about you. He wanted to know if you were single. I told him I knew you weren't married but didn't know if there was a guy in the picture."
"Because my fangs are so scary and he couldn't have asked me this himself?"
"I know, right? Seemed kind of creepy to me."
"Thanks for letting me know. If he asks again, I have a boyfriend."
Even though I didn't, because I didn't appreciate a) his cowardice and b) the fact that he tried to get information about me from someone else. I mean, come on. If he wanted to grab a cup of coffee, he should have just asked. It seemed so high school of him to do that.
She did me the favor, though. Next time I ran into her she told me she had run into him and told him she saw me with a guy. And that was that.
So yes, it may very well be considered nosy, or inappropriate, or weird. Only difference is that the people you ask may very well level the playing field for her and go back and tell her you were asking about her.
Even though I didn't, because I didn't appreciate a) his cowardice and b) the fact that he tried to get information about me from someone else. I mean, come on. If he wanted to grab a cup of coffee, he should have just asked. It seemed so high school of him to do that.
She did me the favor, though. Next time I ran into her she told me she had run into him and told him she saw me with a guy. And that was that.
So yes, it may very well be considered nosy, or inappropriate, or weird. Only difference is that the people you ask may very well level the playing field for her and go back and tell her you were asking about her.
There's nothing nosy, cowardly or weird in being curious about someone you're interested in. You're offering up an extreme and uncommon example to prove your point. There are some things you can't just ask a person directly, not if you don't know them already. For example, if I want to know what my neighbor is like, I might ask someone who knows her. Is she sweet? Is she shy? Is she full of herself? Those aren't things she would divulge on her own. In the world of dating, people hide their worst qualities and sometimes you need someone else to clue you in about those red flags. Are you telling me that if you were interested in someone, you would never think to ask someone else "what's he like?" I seriously doubt that. When you meet someone, they're a blank slate. So naturally you seek out others who might know that person better. If I asked someone what my neighbor is like and he said "stay from her cause she's got a bad temper," at least that saves me from finding out myself. So how is that different than me googling someone? These days, you can discover potential red flags that you might never learn from the person themselves, like whether they have a criminal record. If you're honestly someone who would never think to look up someone, then that makes you naive and foolish.
I don't consider this to be a small falsehood. If she was 40, but said she was 39, that wouldn't bother me. People tell little white lies all the time. But there's a big difference between "we're about the same age" and "I'm a decade older than you."
LOL. Yeah, I suppose you have a point, now that you put it that way.
I think it's very telling how some of the women on this thread are trying to change the subject. Perhaps i struck a nerve. Instead of addressing the original question, they're turning their focus on me. Oh the horror. This guy was interested in this woman and dared to actually look her up on the Internet to learn a little more about her. If a woman was interested in me and looked me up on the Internet, I wouldn't be offended. I wouldn't think she was being nosy. And I sure wouldn't accuse her of being of a stalker. Instead, I'd be flattered. Wow. This woman was interested enough in me that she actually decided to look me up. Stalking is no joking matter. I've known women who really did have stalkers, people who followed them to work, to their children's schools, etc. Shows how paranoid our culture has become where the simple act of typing someone's name in a search engine now qualifies as stalking. A guy I knew in high school who I lost touch with contacted me on LinkedIn last year. He was curious what I had been up to. How did he find me? Oh that's right. He entered my name into the search field and hit Enter. I guess I'd better call the cops. This guy is stalking me.
You didn't stalk her. You were being nosy in my opinion. But in fairness... men and women tell women to poke their nose into the private life and whole biography of any and every man they may consider dating.
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Oh the horror. This guy was interested in this woman and dared to actually look her up on the Internet to learn a little more about her. If a woman was interested in me and looked me up on the Internet, I wouldn't be offended. I wouldn't think she was being nosy. And I sure wouldn't accuse her of being of a stalker. Instead, I'd be flattered. Wow. This woman was interested enough in me that she actually decided to look me up. Stalking is no joking matter. I've known women who really did have stalkers, people who followed them to work, to their children's schools, etc. Shows how paranoid our culture has become where the simple act of typing someone's name in a search engine now qualifies as stalking. A guy I knew in high school who I lost touch with contacted me on LinkedIn last year. He was curious what I had been up to. How did he find me? Oh that's right. He entered my name into the search field and hit Enter. I guess I'd better call the cops. This guy is stalking me.
Go back and read my previous post. I said I was interested, but that was BEFORE I discovered that she had lied. And BTW, there's nothing nosy about inquiring about someone you're interested in. People generally try to gather more information about people they have an interest in. Suppose I hadn't looked her up on Google, but instead just casually asked some other neighbors about her. "Hey there. Do you know the woman who lives across from you? Do you know if she has a boyfriend?" Is that being nosy? Of course not.
