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Of course. It goes without saying that people only hit on people they're interested in. Nothing I said contradicts that.
I think you're missing a piece of the puzzle here.
When older men hit on me, now and when I was 12 and at all ages in between, it is very obvious that they have zero interest in me as a person. As they say 'age is just a number'. And the number, plus the prettiness, is all they care about.
This is similar to the experience of a friend of mine whose ancestors are chinese (me, I'm mixed european). She gets white guys hitting on her all the time who say they are attracted to her because she is 'asian'. They don't care who she is. They just want the asian girl.
With age and with race, it's not about WHO these guys are attracted to. It's about WHAT.
Exactly. Sure there's nothing wrong with wanting to date 55+ men but I don't want to and a 55 year old man is still 13 years older than me. To me that is too large of a gap and no, I don't want to be pursued by these men online no matter what.
Then say no. You move on to someone more compatible, and allow him to do the same. Win-win.
Your girlfriend's fantasy isn't the average 45-year-old man if this picture is any indication. Your girlfriend's fantasy is a 45-year-old man who looks much younger, is quite thin/in shape and is an adventurer who who had the financial and time-related freedom to gad about riding their very own airplane.
She's kind of chasing a unicorn. This pic definitely doesn't represent the overwhelming majority of 45+ year old men in the U.S. I'm not putting down her fantasy, this man may well exist. But he is far from representative. Very far.
It's not rare for a quite young (20s) woman to think that being with a much older man will be wonderful. And for a few, that ends up being true. You definitely hear about successful May-December relationships. HOWEVER, and this is a big however, for many of us who tried it, the fantasy just did not come close to the reality. Older IS older. You can't get around that fact. And in the average, mundane day-to-day experience, you're with a man who has had a totally different life experience from yours, who is going to slow down a whole lot sooner than you (and probably already is), etc.
I do wish your girlfriend luck in finding the man of her dreams, I wish everyone luck in finding the person of his/her dreams.
The differences can really be huge. In the two large gap relationships I had there was a definite cultural difference because they were so much older. The one guy was old enough to have served at the tail end of Vietnam and the other was in high school when Watergate broke. I was a small child when Vietnam and Watergate happened. Sounds like a small thing but it really isn't. We didn't like the same things really. The reason they dated me was simply because they wanted a hot younger woman they could control.
And let me be clear. No, there is nothing wrong with May-December relationships..
I don't think of the type of age gaps we're talking about (8-15 years or whatever) as "May-December relationships." When I think of May-December I think of one person being old enough to be the other person's parent or possibly even grandparent. That's a whole different level of age gap altogether.
I don't think of the type of age gaps we're talking about (8-15 years or whatever) as "May-December relationships." When I think of May-December I think of one person being old enough to be the other person's parent or possibly even grandparent. That's a whole different level of age gap altogether.
Actually...the whole intent of the thread was to address age gaps that could include being old enough to be the person's parent.
Here's the first post in the thread:
Quote:
I've read some posts here where in online dating guys 10 years and much older message women a lot. I consider online dating not very representative in real life because it's so impersonal and much easier to ask someone out online than in person.
So do you women get guys much older and close to your father's age flirting or asking you out in person? Please exclude internet dating experiences where it's much easier.
Well harassment is a different issue entirely. That isn't acceptable regardless of age or sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
they believe the LIE that most women want old men.
Okay, well, this 40 year old has a 26 year old to go to brunch with now, so I'm going to go and leave you with your mistaken belief that it's all a lie. Have a good afternoon.
Hmm I don't know, I never wanted to have a kid in my younger days but now I do, so I have to take that into account. If you were to put a gun to my head I would say no for a long term relationship/settling down..Dating yeah sure why not , there some hot 40 year old chicks. In the last year I casually dated a 19 year old and a 44 year old lol.
I think it depends on what you mean by "older", if you look at any dating website's the age parameters set by women are only one two years younger and 5-10 years older. For men it is usually the opposite...
If you really wanted kids that bad then you should have found someone sooner. I am SO SICK of this idea that many men have that because they "want kids" they shouldn't look at women their age who may or may not have kids. First, they should have looked sooner. Second, there is never a guarantee a man can have kids or a young woman and no guarantee an older woman can't unless she has gone through menopause. So let's say a man marries a young woman based on this and finds out he can't have kids, should she be allowed to divorce him? When men judge women on this assumption then they aren't dating based on who they like, but rather looking for a broodmare child bearer first and spouse second. Not a great way to start a relationship. Yes I have been rejected because of this idea that I am menopausal due to my age (false btw as I am not even periomenopausal)and I hope and pray those men never has children because they prove they aren't good people at all.
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This pic definitely doesn't represent the overwhelming majority of 45+ year old men in the U.S. I'm not putting down her fantasy, this man may well exist. But he is far from representative. Very far.
