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Here's the reality: Many women like older men, and many women don't. Many of the ones who don't like older men really REALLY don't, to such a great extent that they're unable to recognize that many other women do. They think all women share their preferences, and therefore it seems inexplicable to them than older men would hit on them. Well, the reason older men hit on you is that some women do in fact like older men, and they have no way of knowing if you're one of them until they try. If you're not interested, politely decline and allow them to move on to someone who is. Everybody wins.
Sure there are women that like older men. I think numbers-wise the amount is exaggerated in forums like these, and in the media as well. For those looking for long term relationships, it seems most couples that I know at least, are closer in age
For myself, I was never interested in older men. It doesn't mean that I think everyone else shares my preferences...it just isn't something I see much in real life. Most of the couples we know are probably 5 years apart or less.
My own parents were just under 10 years apart. The differences in life experiences, and my dad being "old" for his age, in my estimation caused a lot of problems.
Fifteen years is in general a bit much for me. I mean at that point we're talking about a 60-year-old man. Totally different wavelengths and I'm sorry, but there's the physical factor too. Not saying it would be impossible to meet a wonderful man 15 years older with whom I truly clicked, it could happen. But in general? Not a group that is attractive to me, at my current age.
Five, six, seven-ish years would probably still be pretty much in the ballpark.
15 years is a big stretch if you are looking for a long term partner. I look at my mom, where she is at physically and mentally. Someone that was closer in age to my mom than me would mean they'd be reaching the age where they'd be developing those sorts of aging problems more quickly. If I were a single person this wouldn't be appealing to me, wouldn't want to be in a caregiver role prematurely.
Sure there are women that like older men. I think numbers-wise the amount is exaggerated in forums like these, and in the media as well. For those looking for long term relationships, it seems most couples that I know at least, are closer in age
For myself, I was never interested in older men. It doesn't mean that I think everyone else shares my preferences...it just isn't something I see much in real life. Most of the couples we know are probably 5 years apart or less.
My own parents were just under 10 years apart. The differences in life experiences, and my dad being "old" for his age, in my estimation caused a lot of problems.
I've never been drawn to older men. I've dated my share of guys 5+ years older than me, but was usually more interested in guys closer to my age. Guys closer to my age didn't have to work as hard to get my attention. My expectations were lower because they were closer to my age and that was okay.
I agree with Nila, when I've dated older men, it was in spite of their age and not because of their age.
15 years is a big stretch if you are looking for a long term partner. I look at my mom, where she is at physically and mentally. Someone that was closer in age to my mom than me would mean they'd be reaching the age where they'd be developing those sorts of aging problems more quickly. If I were a single person this wouldn't be appealing to me, wouldn't want to be in a caregiver role prematurely.
My mother is in her early 50's and can run circles around most women I see my age. She has been very dedicated to health and fitness for as long as I can remember. A 47 year old man would need to be like more like my parents than the average 47 year old.
My mother is in her early 50's and can run circles around most women I see my age. She has been very dedicated to health and fitness for as long as I can remember. A 47 year old man would need to be like more like my parents than the average 47 year old.
No doubt there are differences between people. My mom is older than that, and I don't think she'll improve at this point.
15 years is a big stretch if you are looking for a long term partner. I look at my mom, where she is at physically and mentally. Someone that was closer in age to my mom than me would mean they'd be reaching the age where they'd be developing those sorts of aging problems more quickly. If I were a single person this wouldn't be appealing to me, wouldn't want to be in a caregiver role prematurely.
This is a very real concern for women in my age group (I'm almost 46) considering dating a man substantially older. We're not stupid, we know how quickly our partner is going to really age relative to us.
I am in my late 40s and still get hit on by women in their early 20s. I've been hit on by younger women all my life. Every year I thought it had got to be the last year younger women would be interested in me.. every year I was wrong..
However, it is not all wine and roses, as I can understand why young women would be interested in an older guy like me.
I am built like Johnny Depp, but somewhat more muscular. I look young for my age. I dress well because I have a very good paying job. And I have a totally irreverent sense of humor. I am musically talented. I am good looking too. As you can see, I won the genetic lottery.
However, the truth is that all the women who've shown interest in me for the last ten years have been lacking in some ways. I can only think that when they look at me, an older man who still looks young and in shape, they think of one thing - upgrading their genes for their children. The woman might be short, or overweight, or very plain looking. She hopes her youth would make up for these deficiencies in the eyes of an older guy like me.
For both men and women, it's really just a genetic and reproductive game. Men want younger women because they have more success in bearing children, women want older men because their genes are proven. Let's not kid ourselves, young women who are 9 and 10 have no reason to go for much older guys, and when an older guy hits on
a younger woman, unless the guy is very naive, the guy is probably thinking along the line that the woman is probably not that desirable to guys her own age and might be open to dating much older men. So for a young woman it is not necessarily flattering.
That is my take. It is brutal but I speak from experience and not speculation.
My boyfriend is 9 years older but it works because we have the same interests and life experiences.
In other words, it works for the same reasons that lots of other age-gap relationships, which are extremely common, work. Nice to see you finally acknowledge this.
Sure there are women that like older men. I think numbers-wise the amount is exaggerated in forums like these, and in the media as well.
Perhaps. I just know it's extremely common in my own relationships and those of my family members and friends, to the extent that I would consider it to be pretty normal. The reports of others on forums like this and in the media seem to support that. I don't know what the actual data for the general population say.
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