Women who whine about copy/paste or winks on dating sites (wives, husband)
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I kinda LOLed because it's like "Don't copypasta, but...copypasta like this!". Most guys who bother copypastaing already know how to tweak things to keep from getting their accounts nuked by the message filters.
Anyway, understandably, you don't read women's profiles, so you don't have an idea how many will complain about copypasta while toting out a profile consisting of "Just ask.". They get what they put into it.
As for being the chooser, that's what most all women get to do unless you're swinging for the rare celeb who stumbles outside of his usual circles. Not news there.
Mmm... pasta....
Okay, that is kind of funny what I said "don't copy and paste, but copy and paste this." But I think what I'm saying is clear. You can cut and paste the stuff about you, but not her. And you'd be surprised how many guys copy and paste generic messages based on their cliches about women.
I've had a boyfriend for two years now (almost), so it's been a while since I was online. But my profile went into a funny detail how I didn't like clubs, dressing up, or fancy restaurants... that I like quiet dates, being casual, and maybe grabbing BBQ as a meal. Just trying to give an idea of what kind of woman I am. I got a lot of obvious cut and paste about how they'd love for us to dress up, go out on the town and go clubbing. Basically what I hated. If they took two minutes to read my profile, they'd know that and could have changed that one sentace... the one sentence that had me saying, "nope. We're not a match."
For the picking part, all I did was stop even reading incoming messages unless they were from men I contacted first. I usually aimed at finding at least one to three or four men a week that looked like good matches and writing to them. Not all replied by a long shot, maybe 25%? And even fewer lead to dates. But oh my what a change in how well we matched when I did the hunting online. It's how I met my wonderful boyfriend.
I sometimes think online dating would work better if women contacted the men. From what I read with men sending 100s of messages, most aren't as picky as women. So if women contact men, men wouldn't have to send 100s of messages. They would have to just wait and know every woman that contacted them was interested. And women wouldn't get inboxes full of dating website "spam." They could go right for the men they like. Of course, that's me asssuming the 100s of mass messages sent by the average man is accurate (and not exaggerated in these posts) and those 100s of messages are due to less pickiness.
I sometimes think online dating would work better if women contacted the men. From what I read with men sending 100s of messages, most aren't as picky as women. So if women contact men, men wouldn't have to send 100s of messages. They would have to just wait and know every woman that contacted them was interested. And women wouldn't get inboxes full of dating website "spam." They could go right for the men they like. Of course, that's me asssuming the 100s of mass messages sent by the average man is accurate (and not exaggerated in these posts) and those 100s of messages are due to less pickiness.
I read about Bumble, its a site where men can only contact a woman if she started the conversation or something like that.
Sounds fine to me but my phone is not smart. I do think I can run Android on my PC but for these mobile apps, I think people expect a faster response than they would get waiting for me to check messages on my PC.
And I know people's first reaction is just go get a smart phone. Okay fine, but give a dumb person a smart phone and watch his ears smoke. Its the new entertainment, give an old guy new technology and take bets on how long before he has a total conniption.
Copy/paste doesn't really matter to most women in practice. If they like your overall profile and you meet their minimum acceptable level of attractiveness (assuming they actually read your message), there's a reasonable chance you'll receive a message back.
The top 1/3 of women receive 2/3 of the messages from men according to OkCupid. That's not really surprising. There are a handful of women that most men can agree are "super hot." Every guy is going to shoot his shot just to see what happens but he's not really expecting anything in return. After contacting the 9's and 10's, guys will narrow down to the women that are more their type in terms of values, looks etc. I can look at a '5-6" 115 lb blonde dancer type and acknowledge that she's attractive by Western standards. She's not my ideal type, but I'd still message just because especially if her profile is somewhat interesting.
I read about Bumble, its a site where men can only contact a woman if she started the conversation or something like that.
Sounds fine to me but my phone is not smart. I do think I can run Android on my PC but for these mobile apps, I think people expect a faster response than they would get waiting for me to check messages on my PC.
And I know people's first reaction is just go get a smart phone. Okay fine, but give a dumb person a smart phone and watch his ears smoke. Its the new entertainment, give an old guy new technology and take bets on how long before he has a total conniption.
Bumble is a joke. Most womens idea of starting a convo is the same as men with a "hey how are you." As soon as I respond the conversation dies pretty quick. I always try and be responsive and avoid basic answers. I've noticed a lot of women give one word answers or take days or weeks to respond. I understand they may not be interested but at the same time if that's how they talk to everyone, good luck.
Over thinking it. It's just another excuse to not write back because you don't have your shirt off showing muscles and abs. It's all pretentious bs don't lose sleep over it because if you wrote a heartfelt message with a special poem, you still would get read/deleted.
OK I thought this topic should be discussed as I have seen a lot of women on here and on dating sites who hate this and hate winks so bad and even go as far as complain on their dating profile! If this topic even remotely sheds some light to some of these dense women on why men do this, I will be a happy camper!
Really irritates me that some people don't seem to understand why men do this. This is 2013 and online dating is very popular, and they say 1 in 5 marriages (or higher) originate online?
Well let me break it down barney style for you ladies that complain so much and think it's so lame:
1. There are a lot more men online than women.
2. The competition is fierce. Lots of guys who are handsome, have a good career and are good looking
3. Average looking women magically appear so good looking and attractive with tricks like "Fat girl angle shot" or Facebook shots!
4. For these reasons women get lots of attention and messages! All of a sudden a average woman who never gets any attention IRL gets lots online! She can now be picky. She can get 10-100 messages a day or more. Then she can delete at will every message or wink she gets. It seems they look for anything they don't like to get to the next message.
5. Men are the hunters so they are the ones that initiate a lot of the contact. Women love this and love getting attention!
For an average/above average guy to even get a response back, he has to send out a TON of messages!
Then women have the nerve to get irritated that guys will send a wink or a copy/paste.
Now before anyone says anything about lame or poorly written messages, I am not talking about this. A "Hi there sexy" Or "What's up" is lame and nobody should use these. But a nicely written canned message is great and there is nothing wrong with that!!!
I actually have done some research and talked to a lot of men about this and it seems about a 5% response rate if you are above average looking. (of couse the reply rate goes up the less picky you are! But for people looking for someone within their league this is very accurate)
So with that said, if we had to read every woman's profile, then send her a nice well written paragraph about outselves, do the math and see how much time that takes--all to not get a reply back!
Men are smart, we learn quickly. Why waste our time with nonsense like this? Use notepad to write a nice neutral message and copy/past it! Or better yet! use a feature like a WINK to send interest! WHY WASTE OUR TIME? I think most men learned this early on, we tried to do the right think sending out paragraphs of heart felt text, all to get dismissed with no response. No thank you. Some women are way too picky for their own good.
Women: Please keep this in mind next time you get a message that looks to you like a copy/paste and you are about to get your panties in a bunch!
Thank you.
Lol, I'm so glad I'm married.
Maybe, just maybe, a woman wants to feel like you're actually interested in her as an individual and willing to put the time into constructing a personal message to her, rather than casting a wide net to a mass amount of random women in hopes one of them - anyone - will respond. Firstly, it reeks of desperation and secondly, it doesn't make her feel like you're actually interested in her. Maybe if you took the time to understand women a little better instead of patronizing them because they don't like your generic messages, you might have more success with them. If you're not willing to make the effort for her in spite of what I'm sure are valid points about there being more men than women on dating sites, then you can't really expect her to respond positively. You think that making a small effort to construct a personal message is a waste of time, so you're basically saying to her "spending more time than a generic message or one click of a button on you would be a waste of my time". Gee, I can't imagine why women hate that.
I'm sorry if your previous efforts to construct a personal message were often met with no response, but the solution is not to put less effort into in. I can't imagine why you'd think that would be anything other than counter-productive. Maybe she just wasn't interested in you and didn't know how to tell you. Rejection stings, but responding to rejection by putting less effort into meeting someone is only cutting off your nose to spite your face. Or maybe she could just sense something in your message about how bitter you obviously are towards women and wanted nothing to do with you. You can't get a date, so it's her fault because she's too picky for her own good? Who made you the decision maker on what is best for her? Maybe you should consider that if you're getting so many rejections, it's something you're doing and not actually her fault for being "too picky". Maybe, instead of expecting women to lower their expectations, and getting angry when they don't, you should be working on rising to the occasion and being a better person.
But hey, what do I know? I'm just a woman who doesn't know what her own expectations in a man should be, despite being happily married to a man who knows how to respect women and not patronize them because he's unhappy with their decision and can't handle rejection.
OK I thought this topic should be discussed as I have seen a lot of women on here and on dating sites who hate this and hate winks so bad and even go as far as complain on their dating profile! If this topic even remotely sheds some light to some of these dense women on why men do this, I will be a happy camper!
Really irritates me that some people don't seem to understand why men do this. This is 2013 and online dating is very popular, and they say 1 in 5 marriages (or higher) originate online?
Well let me break it down barney style
Barney style? Who is supposed to be the big stupid purple dinosaur here? Barney is male you know.
You can say all you like about what we ladies are supposed to accept but USA is capitalist and the ones who have the best products and the most interesting advertising get the most customers. If you do not take a moment to tell me about the special features of your product as it relates to my needs, I am not going to be interested in it. If you do what every other guy does and say what every other guy says, I will assume you have no imagination or creativity and this does not bode well for you being fun on dates or in bed.
Never receive advice on how to pick up women....from women. Their advice might get you a date or two, but most likely you'll end up a Friend Zone orbiter at best and rejected at worst.
Every man has different strengths and weaknesses and he has to adjust his approach based on what he brings to the table, along with how that compares to the woman he's interested in.
Never receive advice on how to pick up women....from women. Their advice might get you a date or two, but most likely you'll end up a Friend Zone orbiter at best and rejected at worst.
Every man has different strengths and weaknesses and he has to adjust his approach based on what he brings to the table, along with how that compares to the woman he's interested in.
I respectfully disagree mate, women and as many as possible are the very best in asking for advice from when it comes to blokes meeting women whether that's by asking for advice or just by listening and observing them
Apart from a few good blokes the most I've learned from men was how NOT to do it more than anything else
But completely agree with the second part though mate
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