Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Again, he just needs to be a man about this and brush off it for the nonsense that it is. Normally I'm happy to lambaste women for their lousy behavior but all she really owes him is an apology and a blowjob. (And maybe a filet for dinner...)
There is nothing you can do. Accept that, and let him handle it or not. Again, I think he is being very immature. Do his friends really CARE about the size of his schlong?
You people need new friends, fast. And he needs to grow a thicker skin. He seems very unprepared for all the terrible things that life deals out in the real world. Job loss. Money problems. Children who fail to live up to your expectations. Illness. Aging.
A strong man will be able to brush off disappointment and embarrassment. Because life can be very disappointing and embarrassing.
Your man is not strong. This is not good for your future. Trust me.
How do you think she would feel if he said that she was the fattest GF he has ever had in front of her friends?
- You humiliated your boyfriend about one of a man's most sensitive topics.
- This humiliation occurred in front of other people.
- Those other people are your closest friends.
Prognosis: Better start thinking of how you will explain your failed engagement to your family. On the bright side, your friends won't require much explanation.
HA!
But yeah, this is pretty true. This topic is extremely sensitive for most men, even though there isn't much a guy can do about it and we're stuck with whatever we were given, we still don't want our size given to CLOSE FRIENDS. Damn, even while drinking, that's still super stupid.
How do you think she would feel if he said that she was the fattest GF he has ever had in front of her friends?
I don't think that would be the equivalent. Maybe the worst person in bed or ugliest breasts or something. Being fat is obvious to everyone. She blabbed about something very intimate and personal.
I hate to say it, but even if what you said was an insensitive joke, he seems very immature that he cannot get past it. If he is willing to give up a lifetime commitment with the woman he loves because of this, there there wasn't much there holding it together. Worrying to such extent about the size of your unit is such a middle school thing. How will he handle life when he is 50 or 60 and all sorts of other embarrassing bodily things start to happen?
I think he is not going to make a good husband for you. I am sorry. He has a lot of growing up to do. It is time for you to stop apologizing and let him know that you are not impressed by the ugly, vain side of himself he is showing. Glad you saw it now rather than later.
Drop the issue completely and let him have his break.
Wow, zero empathy much? The OP gets wasted and blabs to her friends about her guy's sex organs and HE's the immature one seriously? Thank goodness not everyone thinks the way you do.
I mean this with no judgment intended, but not to coddle either.
The problem here is not only did you say something insensitive, but since there is some truth to what you said, you poked a hot iron in a very tender spot. Whether or not they "should" care about it, many men are very sensitive about the size issue, even though average variations don't make much difference to a lot of women.
If there's still a chance you can fix this (which there may not be), you need to demonstrate that you realize how hurtful and cruel this was on your part, whether you were drunk and in control of your better sense or not, and not belittle the impact this has had on him. You're going to have to make a major gesture because even though this happened quickly and seemed small to you, it was a huge, insulting thing for him.
He has been forthcoming in sharing that you humiliated him and now he is embarrassed to go around your friends. Are they just/primarily YOUR friends, or are they mutual friends? If they're your friends, I would suggest taking a break from couples activities involving those friends for the foreseeable future. Meaning you skip the barbeque. Meaning you might see those girls on your own, but you don't ask him to come along or go off to activities with them when he's at home alone. You forge new friendships with people this didn't involve, or you spend time with other friends of his who weren't there.
And if you get so drunk you can't control things like this coming out of your mouth, you really need to think about drinking less. If you can't stop once you start, maybe you need to not drink at all in public. I'm not sure. But it would be a shame if it cost you a relationship you value over a dumb joke after too much to drink.
Wow, zero empathy much? The OP gets wasted and blabs to her friends about her guy's sex organs and HE's the immature one seriously? Thank goodness not everyone thinks the way you do.
Agree. No matter how the comment got blabbed (because I truly believe she may not have intended anything bad, but was just slobbering drunk), it doesn't change how hurtful it wound up being for him. And what a huge breach of trust that is for the relationship.
I mean this with no judgment intended, but not to coddle either.
The problem here is not only did you say something insensitive, but since there is some truth to what you said, you poked a hot iron in a very tender spot. Whether or not they "should" care about it, many men are very sensitive about the size issue, even though average variations don't make much difference to a lot of women.
If there's still a chance you can fix this (which there may not be), you need to demonstrate that you realize how hurtful and cruel this was on your part, whether you were drunk and in control of your better sense or not, and not belittle the impact this has had on him. You're going to have to make a major gesture because even though this happened quickly and seemed small to you, it was a huge, insulting thing for him.
He has been forthcoming in sharing that you humiliated him and now he is embarrassed to go around your friends. Are they just/primarily YOUR friends, or are they mutual friends? If they're your friends, I would suggest taking a break from couples activities involving those friends for the foreseeable future. Meaning you skip the barbeque. Meaning you might see those girls on your own, but you don't ask him to come along or go off to activities with them when he's at home alone. You forge new friendships with people this didn't involve, or you spend time with other friends of his who weren't there.
And if you get so drunk you can't control things like this coming out of your mouth, you really need to think about drinking less. If you can't stop once you start, maybe you need to not drink at all in public. I'm not sure. But it would be a shame if it cost you a relationship you value over a dumb joke after too much to drink.
Good post.
This guy just got humiliated in about the worst way possible. There is about zero chance he is ever going to feel comfortable around that same group of people again. As others have said, nothing the OP can say or do can ever undo what has been done. The best thing she can do is apologize, acknowledge how she hurt him, and see what happens.
And if you get so drunk you can't control things like this coming out of your mouth, you really need to think about drinking less. If you can't stop once you start, maybe you need to not drink at all in public. I'm not sure. But it would be a shame if it cost you a relationship you value over a dumb joke after too much to drink.
He might be wanting that break for that reason as much as for the insult. He may feel like he can't trust her not to say something stupid or hurtful when she drinks.
I do feel bad for the OP, though, too. She sounds like she's hurting over the pain she caused him.
OP, I'm afraid there's really not much you can do in this situation but let him decide. You stripped him of a lot of pride in front of your friends, and he may feel like the only way he can get it back is to be in control of the fate of your relationship. Take your proverbial lumps--and lay off the sauce for a while, too.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
