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What about NWGirl, who never got any hits on her profile, nor any responses to her messages or winks? And she's attractive, per her photo she posted here once. What does your friend look like? Are you comparing yourself with an average-ish woman, or to an 8 or above?
Exactly. I was astounded to find out she was having trouble and she is childless, which seems to help older women. Or how about Jet Jockey who also struggles with online. They are just two examples but have seen a lot. I never really got that many responses either by men I would actually date and I'm not referring to looks, or income or anything like that. I've gotten rejected by average and even below average men who I contacted because their profile intrigued me, sent a nice message and never got any response except either they deleted me or the canned "no thanks" response several like Match sends.
Yesterday I was talking to my mom about online dating and she said she thinks I failed because I didn't try hard enough or that I was too aggressive. I told her my profile was simple and stated what I was looking for in a mate but not too overpowering. I did add the no dads but only because I would get many messages from them.
Exactly. I was astounded to find out she was having trouble and she is childless, which seems to help older women. Or how about Jet Jockey who also struggles with online. They are just two examples but have seen a lot. I never really got that many responses either by men I would actually date and I'm not referring to looks, or income or anything like that. I've gotten rejected by average and even below average men who I contacted because their profile intrigued me, sent a nice message and never got any response except either they deleted me or the canned "no thanks" response several like Match sends.
Yesterday I was talking to my mom about online dating and she said she thinks I failed because I didn't try hard enough or that I was too aggressive. I told her my profile was simple and stated what I was looking for in a mate but not too overpowering. I did add the no dads but only because I would get many messages from them.
Instead of only stating what you are looking for in a mate, also state what you are offering a mate. As an "older" woman on the dating circuit, this is a must to get men interested.
Let me wager a guess - you will not date overweight women. Oklahoma rate of overweight to obese is about 2/3 and I would guess that if you just isolate women it is at 70%. Am I right? (My friend's girlfriends are always hefty.)
Yes, you're right. I want a woman who is health conscious like I am. 10-20 pounds overweight not a big deal, but BBW is a big deal. Pun intended.
This is a huge myth, IMO. I say this as a woman who did online dating for several years until I met my bf. First off, those hundreds of messages are temporary, it's the "New Meat" phenomenon, when you first post a profile you get innundated, but even of 100 messages, 50 will be too far away, 20 will overtly ask for sex in the first message, 10 will be wildly inappopriate in terms of age (too young or too old) 5 will be married or in a relationship, and of the 15 left, 10 will disappear somewhere in the e-mail stage, 3 will ask to call you then disappear when you give them your number, and 2 will become actual dates.
After the initial rush, we get no more messages than men do.
I have never known one single woman on online dating for an ego boost. Every woman on there wants to be in love with the right guy. Easy to blame women for your failures, harder to examine yourself.
After the inititial
I'm a woman in my 20s and I agree. I get messages often, but it doesn't mean I have an easier time finding love than anyone else. Most of the messages are the "Hey baby" type, or those obviously looking to hook up, or those who have no social skills to make or carry a conversation after initially messaging me.
I message men I find intriguing or goodlooking (and no not necessarily the hottest guys) and my messages often go unanswered.
Very seldom do I come across a guy I jive with and we hit it off enough to date. The ones that I did end up dating never ended up stay around past the first month or so.
Instead of only stating what you are looking for in a mate, also state what you are offering a mate. As an "older" woman on the dating circuit, this is a must to get men interested.
I will do that when men state what they "offer". I mention my education, my job and my hobbies like a man does.
Yes, you're right. I want a woman who is health conscious like I am. 10-20 pounds overweight not a big deal, but BBW is a big deal. Pun intended.
My friend will date bigger women, and those typesare bountiful where you are. So you are going after women who have the most options, and are being out matched by other men. What can you do to elevate yourself so that the fit some will give you a chance? That is what you have to focus on (or lower your standards). I suggest you figure it out quickly, the older you get, the harder it will be (absent a massive income boost).
I will do that when men state what they "offer". I mention my education, my job and my hobbies like a man does.
But you are far more desperate than a man is of your age bracket. Well you can wait until fair is fair, but being never married and in you're 40s should tell you that you need to step up your game or lower your standards. Its the same as ATL39... the competition for want you want is fierce.... what are you going to do to elevate yourself so that a prized man will want you?
My friend will date bigger women, and those typesare bountiful where you are. So you are going after women who have the most options, and are being out matched by other men. What can you do to elevate yourself so that the fit some will give you a chance? That is what you have to focus on (or lower your standards). I suggest you figure it out quickly, the older you get, the harder it will be (absent a massive income boost).
Look in Texas. That is the only answer aside from getting my company to let me work remotely and move. I will not lower my standards to date obese women.
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